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April 4, 1997
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'I am really not bothered about my acting. I am not a professional at all'
You were the hero of Mani Ratnam's (left) second movie. That was when
you had just started your career like Mani Ratnam. More than a
decade has passed. What are the changes that have taken place
in your and Mani Ratnam's career and attitude to films?
(Laughs) What can I say about myself? I didn't see any change
in Mani Ratnam and the way he works. He works the same way, talks
the same way; nothing has changed. In the last 12 years, he has
done only 14 films or so. I had noticed then that he had a keen
observation about the process of acting. Now also he gives a lot
of importance to subtle actions and reactions. Then of course,
you improve after each film. I feel that Iruvar will be one of
the best movies made by him. The way he has made this film is
quite novel and also very good.
What about you in the film?
I think I am not bad in the film (laughs). What else can I say
about my performance? I can never judge myself.
It is said that Iruvar is based on the lives of MGR, Jayalalitha
and Karunanidhi. Did you find it difficult to portray a character
who is still in the minds of people?
We never said that (the film is based on their lives). The director
didn't say so. The actors didn't say so. Only the press and the
others say that. Of course, you
might find some resemblance. Maybe, some incidents remind you
of something that had really happened. Just resemblance. You think
they are real life characters because I am playing the role of
an actor and the other man is a writer. Both of them become chief
ministers. Those who are familiar with Tamil Nadu politics
may ask, is it not the story of that man? But nobody can claim
that it is 'his' story.
So you didn't have to see MGR's movies to prepare yourself
before shooting.
No... no. You cannot say that the story is based on 'his'
life. If I had acted like him, it would look like mimicking a
legendary figure. That is not right.
But the songs of the film liberally used words from many of
MGR's films.
It has happened.
Earlier you used to say that you were not interested in acting
in films in other languages. Then, why did you accept this Tamil
film?
It was a very challenging role because I am playing
an actor.
How difficult was the role?
It was not difficult at all. Yes, the story of the actor starts
from his early life, the very beginning, and it continues till
his end. I said challenging because I had to portray him as a
young man and also as an old man. As age catches up with him,
he changes. I accepted the role because I could convey a whole
lot of emotions through him as he was passing through several
phases in his life an career.
Then, of course, the name Mani Ratnam
itself (made me accept the role). He is not one director who makes
mediocre films. And he has put in a lot of effort in this film.
It is not the usual Tamil film at all.
Did you have to think a lot before accepting the role?
No, not at all. In fact, we had been planning to make a movie
together for the last three-four years. We wanted to do something
new.
Did you have a lot of discussions with him about the choice
of story?
We discussed a lot. Then he came with this story, and I liked
it a lot. That's it. What attracted me was, it was totally different
from the other Tamil films. Usually you have dance for dances
sake, fights for fights sake, etc. in Tamil movies. I am not saying
that these things are there only in Tamil films. But this is not
a superficial film at all. It is very, very genuine.
Was it a satisfactory experience for you as an actor?
Yes, of course. No. I will
not talk about satisfaction. I have left the experience of the
movie behind. It is not me who should be talking about the film,
it is the viewers, people like you.
But do you care
about their opinion?
It depends upon the person. Generally people say it is good.
That is not the kind of opinion I look forward to. But if there
are people who genuinely tell me their opinion, I care about it.
You always say that you don't prepare yourself for any role.
How can you perform without any preparation?
It is not necessary to prepare for a role. I cannot do that. I
don't even think about the character before and after a shot.
After the completion of a movie, I never think that I should have
done like this or like that. My way of acting is reacting to a
particular situation. Yes, the reactions tend to become repetitive
for take 2 or take 3. To overcome that, I break away from the
pattern. So, I don't get bothered about various takes as I look
at every take as a new one. I think I could do that only due to
God's grace.
You portray extroverted characters with such ease. But in real
life you appear totally different.
How do you know that?
I don't know you. But that is the impression I got. Was it
not true?
See, an actor exists between 'action' and 'cut'.
Most of the time, an actor is a person, his real self. I like
to be a person most of the time, not an actor. An actor's job
is only to react to a particular situation.
Was appreciation an important factor in your life, when you
were young? Children always yearn for appreciation from elders;
and it could be from one's mother, father or a teacher. Whose appreciation
did you want the most when you were young?
How do you expect me to remember all that now?
You mean you don't remember anything.
No. Can you remember what was in your mind when you were three
or four?
Of course. But you might remember your slightly older
days.
Unfortunately, I am a very forgetful person.
That's a joke, I think
No, I am not joking. I don't remember a single thing about even
my school days. I think I have not saved anything in my mind for
my later years. Can I carefully store the memory of an incident
in my mind, so that I could remember it, say after 35 years? I
have left my past behind. See, my memory bank is very poor.
I don't believe you.
I was a very normal boy. I used to sing. I used to act. I might
have got appreciation from people. Otherwise, I wouldn't have
continued singing or acting in school, college and later on in
life too. I got my first Best Actor award when I was in the sixth
standard. Perhaps that was the first time a sixth standard boy
was given the award. Usually, it was given to those studying in
the tenth standard. But I didn't go on thinking about the incident.
I didn't even feel unduly happy.
At present, whose opinion do you value the most?
Nobody. It is always my decision. The truth is, I haven't met
a person who can guide me and correct me. This is the problem
with all people, I think (Laughs) So far, I have not faced any
grave situation in my life where the opinion of experts is necessary.
These days, many people are calling you one of the best actors
in India. Do you feel flattered when you hear that?
What I felt first was, 'what has happened to all these people?'
(Laughs loudly) I really don't know. But is it not good if they
say I am a good actor? But it doesn't make me very elated, and
it will not make me sad either if I didn't get that kind of a
compliment... To tell you the truth, I feel shy and embarrassed
when I have to talk about my feelings, my state of mind etc. What
saddens me is, such compliments are coming to a person who never
craved or prepared for them.
Others rate you as a very good actor. How do you rate yourself?
Not so good... Honestly, I have never done anything of that sort.
I can never compare myself with other actors. If I did that, I
would be lowering myself, wouldn't I? The truth is, I never craved
to be like somebody who is great and I never wanted to act like
other great actors too. I am really not bothered about my acting.
Had I been very serious about my profession, I would have exercised
and looked after my body, I would have waited for you in make-
up... but I don't care about all such trappings. Maybe because
I didn't have a drive or ambition to be an actor. That's my problem,
I think. I don't take much care about my body even though I am
an actor, and I am not a professional at all.
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