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How far down the line India and its politicians have come!

So, even Atal Bihari Vajpayee watches Kaun Banega Crorepati. But who would have guessed that Uma Bharati secretly loves Saans?

Last week was a strange, educative one in Indian politics. The mukhauta has fallen off two leading protagonists of the Hindu undivided parivar -- one a bachelor by choice, the other a spinster by compulsion -- revealing not bitter sourpusses behind them, but real human beings with real feelings. Happy Diwali.

Is it AB that captivates ABV? Or is it the ekyavan prashn that give the kavi his 9 pm kicks? What would he do if he won the money? (Get BCG to restructure Bajrang Dal?) What if someone mischievously gave the PMO number for 'Phone A Friend' and a booming voice at the other end said, "Pradhan Mantriji, main Amitabh Bachchan bol raha hoon..." Somebody should ask these tough, searching questions someday.

Whatever, but by letting us in on this little weakness of the prime minister, Mr Vajpayee's swadeshi spin meisters have demonstrated that even the man who has everything except a pair of good knees is a voyeur like the rest of us with a lot of needs -- waiting four nights a week to see Kaun Banega Chappan Lakhpati (Rs one crore minus 44 per cent).

Sawaal Dus Crore Ka: "What is the capital of India?" (Answer: "I".)

Sure, nothing should surprise us any longer in the age of image-building. The very deliberate plug that Atalji too is hooked on KBC is certainly just another turn of the spin cycle, intended to convey that he was in fine spirits before the surgery and doing all the things he (probably) normally does. But, unwittingly, all it conveys is the dumbing down of the PMO; from being the home of the author of Discovery of India to one who watches KBC.

Still, it is comforting to know that the man who decides which way India goes does not sit and watch Krishi Darshan" or Sansad Samachar on DD as our deadly-dull socialist prime ministers have wanted us to assume, but spends his time like every plain Jain, delighting in the manufactured thrills of a British television show and provided by a satellite channel owned by an Aussie (Ms Sushma Swaraj please note).

That's how far down the line India and its politicians have come.

But it's Chi Sow Uma Bharati's that is the more scintillating story. By mentioning within earshot of the media's sin meisters that she was in love with her senior BJP and RSS colleague, K N Govindacharya, and that she wanted to marry him, has the 'sexy sanyasin' shown that 'sanyas' and 'sin' go together?

Umaji, of course, marched to the offices of The Week, sat on a dharna, denied the remarks attributed to her by the magazine and threatened to move the Press Council of India. Our politicians deny so much, they could be Buddhist monks in a previous birth.

But an entire nation must be grateful to Umaji for clarifying the picture about her relationship. If nothing else, it proves: a. that male politicians have feelings, even if they are sanghis; b. that female politicians too have feelings, even if they are sanyasins; c. that sanyasins have more guts than sanghis in revealing their feelings, and d. that love is such a many-splendoured thing that it can unite a Madrasi with a Madhya Pradeshi in soulless Dilli.

'Yes, I was in love with him. I wanted to marry him. I used to chase him everywhere and I feel that he also loved me though never told me so,' is proof, if any were required, of the BJP's worst-kept secret. For years, the sanghi-sanyasin 'scene' has been the political equivalent of the Amitabh Bachchan-Rekha fling, known by all but never acknowledged by the party of the first part. But Ms Uma Bharati, like Ms Ganesan, has shown exemplary courage and honesty in baring her innermost feelings.

'Courage,' because it takes a lot for women in our male-dominated society to reveal (and later deny) secrets such as this in public. And 'honesty,' because she admits that Mr Govindacharya never told her if he loved her and that she is only assuming that he did. These are admirable traits in a politician who are mostly used to speaking through their Nehru topis while clinging on to their langots.

Pending a denial, of course, it is also a good thing Ms Uma Bharati admits that she was an 'innocent flirt' before taking sanyas at the age of 16.

In the growing cynicism about politics and politicians, the perception is that our political masters are good for nothing except misusing power and making money. Umaji has shown that they too can chase the birds and bees. For a country -- and for a party -- which pretended to believe that Monica Lewinsky was a videshi phenomenon and that its swadeshi politicians are above such temptations, this is a moment of reckoning.

Mr Govindacharya was exiled back to Madras when the affair became known some years ago, and Umaji now reveals that she was advised by RSS leader Bhaurao Deoras not to marry Govindji for the 'sake of the masses and the country.' Is this is a Freudian slip of Bollywood proportions, where producers force heroines not to marry for fear that they may lose their 'virginal' hold on audiences?

One final point of concern: Umaji refers to her affair in the past tense. Is it all over between the two? That would be a real pity, because she is no longer minister, he is no longer general secretary, and the two have a lot of time to make merry.

Krishna Prasad

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