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Keep the flame of romance burning

February 12, 2009 15:48 IST
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With Valentine's Day drawing closer, the air is filled with love. However, a leading psychiatrist has said that people shouldn't wait for February 14 to tell their partners how much they care for them.

Dr Catherine Birndorf, clinical associate professor of psychiatry at NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital/ Weill Cornell Medical Center, said that Valentine's Day should serve as a reminder to devote time and energy to your relationship every day.

"Most people don't realize a relationship is effortful and not static. It's a dynamic evolution," she said.

She added: "A genuine interest and curiosity about your partner is essential -- take the care and make the time to keep up with him or her."

Birndorf even came out with a few tips to help keep the fire burning between couples.

She suggested that one should let the past repeat itself. Recall favourite memories of times spent together and try to find similar activities. Whether it's a nice dinner out, a night at the theatre, a day spent walking around town or a vacation, think about some of your best times together and create opportunities for them.

Take time out. Try to connect at least once a day, and set aside quality time once a week to do something you both enjoy.

Be a thoughtful gift giver. The best gifts aren't the most expensive ones, but the ones that really say 'I know you well' and make the other person feel special. Go the extra mile -- beyond flowers and candy -- to get something that is really unique o your partner.

Give in once in a while. On special occasions, let your partner choose something he or she enjoys but you may not. You may be surprised how good it feels to give selflessly and end up having a great time.

Share your thoughts. Leave a note for your partner in the morning, send a flirty text message or e-mail, or leave a sweet voicemail when you know he or she is away from the phone. These tiny acts of appreciation are sure to brighten your partner's day.

Schedule in sex. In today's world, you can't always expect spontaneity. Make a date for sex and be strategic -- schedule play dates for the kids or set an alarm for the early morning. Having it on the schedule will give you something to look forward to and may allow the excitement to build around it.

Compliment your mate. Never underestimate the power of a compliment. Taking a moment to tell your partner that he or she looks nice today can go a long way. Allowing him or her to start the day with an extra confidence boost will make you feel good, too.


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