Sexual queries: 'I can't orgasm during intercourse'

Last month, we invited Get Ahead readers to mail in their questions. Here is the third set of responses:

Hi Dr Krishnamurti,

I am a 24-year-old woman. My problem is that I cannot orgasm during sexual intercourse, even though my fiance's penis is of satisfactory length. We've tried different positions and he can keep up the act for more than 20 minutes, but I can only orgasm during foreplay. Can you help?

Between half and two-thirds of women will attain orgasm only through direct clitoral stimulation. Peno-vaginal thrusting alone, however vigorous, often `misses the mark' completely and leaves the lady `high and dry'. It appears that, during foreplay, your partner is stimulating the clitoris, albeit inadvertently. That's why you are able to attain orgasm. Show him where your clitoris is located. Many men don't know. It is possible to negotiate coital positions and thrusting such that the clitoris is stimulated quite well during sexual intercourse.

Dear Doctor

I am clear that frequent masturbation is harmless. But, how about frequent sex, ie., sex having daily, two times a day or more than 10 times a week. Will it make me feel older, all my energy faded out. Often my wife threatens me to have sex only once a week and not more than that. The body gets heated up and it leads to constipation etc etc... What is your opinion regarding this?

Thanks

Read Chapter 11, On Fast Guys and Seminal Matters in my book Sexx is Not a Four-Letter Word. It explains in fair detail why and how your (and your wife's) beliefs are completely untrue.

Hello Dr. Krishnamurthi

Request you to withold my name in any publication.

My query is:

I am married for nearly 5 years and currently residing in UK. We are planning to have a baby. However, for all these years we couldn't have a successful intercourse as I had erection problems and couldn't maintain erection for penetration. Also there wasn't any ejaculation. This January, I was prescribed with Caverta 25 mg (Sildenafil Citrate) to help maintain erection. On the first use of 25 mg, I did find some improvement but not good enough to maintain for good penetration. Also there was no ejaculation. I have subsequently taken higher dosage (50 mg / 75 mg). It works some days but doesn't the next. Is there any limitation to the dosage and can it be taken one day after the other? Also what can help to get ejaculation during intercourse as I don't get the feeling of peaking? Kindly suggest any dietary changes or medicines which will be of help.

Ramesh

The maximum permissible dose of sildenafil citrate (Viagra) is 100 mg/ 24 h. Both your erectile and ejaculatory dysfunction (vast topics) will require investigation. You may obtain more information about these on www.andrology.com.

Hi Dr K,

I am a 32-year-old female and I'm going to get married in December. I've been sexually active with other men and now with my match arranged, I'd rather my husband not know about it since he is from a rather conservative background. Will he be able to tell that I'm not a virgin if I don't bleed when we have sex? I'm anxiously awaiting your reply.

Anonymous

It depends on how much your husband-to-be knows about these matters. Sometimes, the hymen can rupture even in the absence of sexual defloration, eg with vigorous sports activities, masturbation with the insertion of objects into the vagina, etc. It is also possible for you to undergo a hymenoplasty operation to restore your hymen. However, the more important point here seems to me to be that if you are going to start a relationship off on such a deceptive note, what will its future be?

Dear Sir,

I am married m/31, i have a problem in going on for intercourse for the second or third time. Problem is that after the first act second time i get an erection after almost an hour and it pains when erect the second time and also it take a lot more time to eject which in turn make a problem with my back.

Please advice how to gain erection at the earliest for the second/third course and how to get rid of the pain in erection after the firs act.

Read Chapter 27, The Umpteenth Time, in my book Sexx is Not a Four-Letter Word. It is written just for guys like you.

What are the ways for happy sexual life? is exercise important or yoga for better sex life?

Pls suggest me.

Sahil

When it comes to sex, knowledge is power. Arm yourself with the right information. There are plenty of resources available on the subject. Physical, mental and spiritual fitness certainly contribute to a good sex life, but can't substitute for knowledge. My long list of patients includes many sportspersons and `body-builders' without sufficient knowledge.

Dear Sir,

Sub: Delay in getting pregnant

I was married in the year 2006 February. I went for testing sperm count. The result was shown as 70 million. The doctor said it was okay.

Then in the second (2007) and third year (2008) my sperm count came down 10-30 million. Both of us undergone some other tests.

My wife's reports are okay as per doctor. Now I am using RECHARJE100, HIMALAYA DRUGS and injections weekly for increase in sperm count.

Information for analysis of the case:

SO PLEASE ADVICE WHAT'S THE PRACTICE I HAVE TO FOLLOW?

I AM REQUESTING YOU TO GUIDE ME AND IF ANY OTHER TEST REPORTS REQUIRED I WILL FORWARD TO YOU.

PLEASE HELP ME SIR.

GEORGE SIMPSON

The cause of the infertility in your case does not seem very clear. Male infertility is as common as female infertility and accounts for half of all childlessness. It is also much simpler to investigate the male. Visit www.IndiaMaleInfertility.com for more information on this. The commonest correctable cause of male infertility, which most frequently presents as low sperm counts on semen analysis, is a varicocoele. Check out www.varicocoele.com. If all tests for the male are normal, then the woman must be investigated. Most cases of infertility are curable.

Hello Sir,

I have a problem which is as below.

Basically I feel I ejaculate very early and when I am excited enough to have sex sometimes I feel I would ejaculate before the intercourse itself. I believe this is a problem called premature ejaculation or something. I need help.

It is not 'or something'. IT IS premature ejaculation. You need treatment. Effective drugs are available for this nowadays and a new one is expected soon in the international market. Consult an andrologist.

Hi,

I am a married man since last 6 years. I have two kids. One daughter and one son, I am very much satisfied with my married life. After two children now I don't want a child infact the second child I didn't want but our mistake -- we didn't care and then we decided to have the child. Now problem is that now-a-days when we have intercourse we use a condom but we both don't like to use the condom!!! Alternately, my wife's female doctor says that we should go in for an operation but due to the fact that we both are shy, we can't understand what is the operation???

Also want to know what is ANAL sex? Is ANAL sex bad, or any disadvantages? Pls guide me. Waiting for your reply.

Regards, V

Hullo, have you heard of something known as a vasectomy?`Wife's female doctor', did you say?! What about a `husband's male doctor'? Have you heard of the term 'male chauvinist'? Check it out. Also, read Chapter 6 The Vas Deferens between Men and Women in my book, Sexx is Not a Four-Letter Word. A no-scalpel technique is available at the Andromeda Andrology Centre -- you might want to consider that. My patients walk in and out of the operation theatre within minutes.

As for the second part of your question -- when the erect penis is inserted into another man's, woman's, donkey's, monkey's or other animal's anus, it is referred to as 'anal' intercourse or anal sex. Yes, it carries risks. Especially, do not insert your penis into the vagina after inserting it into the anus. You may introduce infections.

Do you have a question for Dr Krishnamurti? Simply e-mail him at sexualqueries@rediffmail.com; responses will be published each week and names will be withheld upon request.

Dr Sudhakar Krishnamurti is an international award-winning andrologist and microsurgeon. He is the only Indian on the world's first-ever batch of sexual medicine fellows (Oxford, 2007). Best known for the Krishnamurti Operation for Peyronie's Disease, he is also the founder of Andromeda, India's first andrology center, and author of the book Sexx is Not a Four-Letter Word.

Disclaimer: Please note that Dr Krishnamurti will be answering the most relevant queries at his discretion each week. His advice may not necessarily reflect the opinions of rediff.com and while it is in the capacity of professional medical counselling, it in no way should be considered an alternative to visiting a medical specialist for sex-related ailments.