When you access the official Andhra Pradesh Police Web site, apstatepolice.org, you may expect the latest 'Wanted' list to crop up, not advice from the force telling you to make love to your partner more often and avoid nagging your spouse.
But it seems that in a bid to promote domestic harmony, the men in khaki are now doling out relationship dos and don'ts.
'How to affair-proof your relationship', 'Choosing your partner online' and get this -- 'Signs of a cheating husband' -- are only a few topics they've covered. And that last one is so noteworthy, we couldn't resist reproducing it here for your reading pleasure, so...
One of the most common ways you can detect if your partner is cheating is by looking out for changes in his day to day routine and behaviour. If your partner is having an affair it is quite likely that he will start acting differently. This is because we all settle into certain routines when things are regular and normal, so it is only natural that if something changes in our lives then things get thrown off course and we start doing things differently. These changes in your husband's routine can be giveaway clues that he's seeing someone else but can be so easily missed.
Have you detected any of the following?
- Has he become short-tempered with you or children?
- Does he want to be out more now, whereas before he was happy to be at home with you?
- Does he stay awake later at night? This may be so that he can phone, SMS or email 'her' once you've gone to bed or simply in the hope that you'll be asleep before he gets into bed.
- Suspicious cell phone behaviour: Has he become possessive of his cellphone? Does he keep it closeby whenever you're nearby? Men who cheat use their cell phone to communicate with the other women. Unless they are totally stupid and use their home phone number. Look for him erasing his call logs and messages constantly.
- Does he insist on answering the phone and talks in coded mode if you are around or feels uncomfortable by your presence?
- Has he become more possessive toward his wallet, pocket calendar or briefcase?
- Has he started avoiding you in the home? Doesn't look into your eyes straight?
- Does he go out for longer and more frequent walks?
- No more arguing: Has he become docile when arguments arise? Men do not like confrontation when they are cheating, they will do whatever it takes to avoid any type of heated confrontation.
- Has he lost interest in things he used to be passionate about, say a particular sport or a particular hobby?
- All of a sudden has he starts talking about getting together with old friends he hasn't seen in years and about whom he has never spoken of to you?
- Have you noticed him suddenly being more knowledgeable about women's clothing, perfume or jewellery? If so he could be buying gifts for another woman.
- Has he started to take an interest in something that you know he was never previously bothered about?
- Has he stopped leaving his clothes lying around or started doing any of his own washing, maybe because there are revealing smells or marks on them?
- Has he started encouraging you to go alone to visit parents or friends nowadays?
- Has he started attending extended seminars/official/business trips or going on tours he never used to attend and go before with that frequency?
- Did he remember things he had forgotten to do at the office and wants to leave immediately at odd hours?
- Does he forget to wear the wedding ring sometimes?
- Does he make a point of keeping the car/bike free of things belonging to you or the kids?
- Has he has started keeping an overnight bag in his car or office, apparently for a workout?
These signs of a cheating husband appearing now and then may not mean anything in isolation, but if you notice a number of them happening with a pattern, you should take them as a warning signs that there's probably something wrong going on. You must take corrective steps to save your marriage.
What do you think of the Andhra police force's relationship advice?
Should they be tracking down criminals and terrorists instead of doling out such marital advice!? Tell us!