In an online chat with Get Ahead readers on June 18, Love Guru answered their relationship queries.
Here are the unedited excerpts:
Amit-Kumar: hi I am in love with girl who is my friend but not so close.I want to propose her but she is always dedicated towards her career .I don't want to lose her.what should I do if I propose her if she reject then I may lose her friendship also.please help me should I propose her or not?
Love Guru: Amit-Kumar, tough question. On one hand she could reject you to focus on her career; there is also the possibility that since you are not so close to her you don't know if she has a partner you don't know about. The other fear is that you may lose her friendship altogether -- though that could depend on how you approach her.
deepikadeewani: LG, my bf is very possessive but sometimes he crosses the line and gets upset and angry over me for small reasons, i cant understand how to deal with this, please help.
Love Guru: Deepika Deewani, all men -- and women, I might say -- are possessive in a relationship, only the degree varies. Are you possessive, too? But, to return to your question, if you feel hurt by his possessiveness, maybe you should try talking some sense into him. Explain how you feel, and he may listen to you. If he doesn't, well, then you have an important decision ahead of you.
Vimlesh Purohit: hi LG, i am in my second relation, i had conveyed everything to my gf about my past, but now after 3 months my gf keeps on questioning about my rx gf, and she later she gets upset. what should i do?
Love Guru: Vimlesh Purohit, are you still in touch with your ex? Perhaps that's the cause for your present girlfriend to react like this? The past very often has the habit of casting a long shadow on the present, and it's best to leave it behind. So if you are in touch with her, my advice is to stop doing it. Perhaps there will come a time when your girlfriend will be able to accept it, but not now.
Siraj Memon: im in a relation with a girl since 6 months, but my gf likes to shop a lot, but i want to do certain savings for the future, but i cant understand how to make her understand, if i tell her directly then she might feel bad, please give some advice
Love Guru: Siraj Memon, first of all, is she spending her money,or yours? If it is yours, it should be easy enough for you to control it. If it is her money she is spending, well, then your leeway to tell her not to do so is very limited. That doesn't mean you shouldn't try, but do it very carefully, lest you come off as someone out to control her life
Roshan Parkar: LG this is my first crush, i am studying in 11th standard, i really love this girl but i cant understand how to approach her please help!!!
Love Guru: Roshan Parkar, first crushes are very nice to harbour. My advice is, let it be, continue to be friends with her, and who knows where it may lead to in the future
Jaideep Valani: Love Guru,if a girl always finds fault in almost every thing you do.. how to get her focus on gud things done for her..
Love Guru: Jaidep Valani, by bringing it to her notice but without sounding like you are proving a point.There's a way and style of doing it.
Pradeep Singh Rawat: how do i overcome from my college crush?
Love Guru: Pradeep Singh Rawat, like one would overcome all other crushes, I suppose. If your personality is such that you can move on to another crush immediately, it helps. If not, there's the customary period, which varies from person to person, that you will have to put up with the memories etc. But soon, over time, everyone gets over it.
Jv: How good the rlship holds if you are given an ultimatum for certain period of time.. even though you have been trying your best and honestly without lies and manipulation of things around
Love Guru: JV, I am afraid this question is too vague. Should ultimatums have a place in relationships? No. But do they have a place? Yes, in practice they do. The truth is, the ultimatum giver presumes a certain hold, power over other person. Now is that power for real or imaginary? Only the other person will know, and only he or she will know what is the breaking point beyond which it won't work
Rahul: LG, I had an affair with the aunty in the flat above. We had sex regularly like crazy for two months. Now she is pregnant, she didn't have any children before this. Now she is completely avoiding me and acting as if she doesn't even know me... I am devastated....
Love Guru: Rahul, incomplete information. What about the lady's husband, I am assuming she is not single? And what about the pregnancy, what does she plan to do about it? And why is she avoiding you, when it usually the other way round?
Rahul, and you want to me tell you what? What do you expect her to do? Leave her husband and settle down with you? What do you expect to do? File for a paternity case? Don't be daft. Neither is workable. What she is doing is the right thing, learnt to accept gracefully when things end
Ansuman Trpathy: I am married for last 10 years with a kid.I do not get along well with my wife.I am in love with a very beautiful lady married for 12 years with a kid .She loves me too.We want to get together .Please advise since I need her in my life
Love Guru: Ansuman Tripathy, unfortunately, loving is easy, separating is not easy. While you two may have decided to break up your marriages and get together, you will find that there are various issues that will come up. Be prepared to tackle them, before you two can legally get together
seetha narayanaswamy: [SKB] Hi...i love a girl but my family is against me...wat should i do
Love Guru: Seetha Narayanaswamy, if the differences are such that they cannot be made to see reason,you will need to decide who is more important to you.
Illustration: Uttam Ghosh/Rediff.com
