"16 is not an age to be thinking of marriage.
"Don't act brash and take in the heat of the moment decisions."
Rediff.com's Love Guru has answers to all your relationship problems.
In an online chat every Thursday, Rediff.com's Love Guru addresses relationship problems and attempts to offer earnest solutions.
For those who missed the chat on November 5, here's the transcript:
anand r: I am married for last 6 months. Before that I had feelings on another girl, i asked her, but she rejected. We still talk.
I tried not talking to her for 3 months, tried normal talking to her. But every time my mind doesn't accept.
I am still getting attracted to her. Yeah, my wife is very lovely and she is very good partner. But i just cant let go feelings for her.
Love Guru: Anand R, you are displaying all the signs of a man who wants to have the best of both worlds.
The bad news is that it is not going to be possible.
Why can't you take the girl's rejection and pursue your life?
That girl is not ruining her life for you, so why are you doing it? If you were so into her, you should not have married this other girl
vicky-cupid: Dear LG, I am student and I am madly in love with an Aunty of my colony.
We have been in to physical relationship for long. I want to marry her but age is the problem as she is nearly 50 and I am 16.
She is afraid of the Police and Society. But I can't live and imagine my single moment without her. I will commit suici** if she will not come in my life. Help me plzzzz
Love Guru: Vicky-Cupid, grow up, is my advice to you.
16 is not an age to be thinking of marriage. As the present arrangement seems convenient to both of you, continue it for however long it goes on, but abandon the thought of marriage.
For one, she can be arrested for marrying an underage minor, even for having relations with one. So don't act brash and take in the heat of the moment decisions
Sandeep Sahoo: Hi LG...I am in a relation with a girl for last 11 years.
All these years she cheated on me many times which I caught..But I forgave her as I love her very much.
Now it's time to get married..But my family members are completely against this marriage..Please advice what to do?
Love Guru: Sandeep Sahoo, obviously you love her to a fault, else you won't be thinking of marrying her despite, as you say, her having cheated on you many times. Will she do it after marriage?
That's what must be troubling your family too. Have you given that enough thought? Are you okay with it?
Sure, it's only a possibility as of now, one that may not happen, but still, you need to be clear in your head
provu: sir if BJP loses this election then will they start loving common man and bring back achey din?
Love Guru: Provu, for those in love, achchey din do not depend on the political climate or who wins/loses elections, it goes beyond all that.
Obviously, for the politically inclined, even Cupid's arrows will come with their own message, I guess
shivneri: hi the search does not end for marriage.. it's like one needs one good person.. and it takes a lot of time...
What should one do to speed up and get the right guy...compatible and fast..any suggestions
Love Guru: Shivneri, I think what you need is a marriage broker, not a relationship counsellor.
Frankly, I have no advice to offer you on how to hasten the process of finding a perfect match.
For some, by the way, that's a lifelong quest, that sometimes continues even after marriage
nand chaudhary: Dear LG, I am in love with my wife's friend since 3-4 years.
Last year we both had unfortunately engaged in relations, after that some incidents she talk with me but slowly avoiding me.
She always blaming me that you should not go to that point .... I love her very much and don't want to ruin our friendship... what to do for back in same ...
Love Guru: Nand Chaudhary, for whatever reason, doubt, or the fear of being caught out, she doesn't want to continue the relationship. Is it so hard for you to figure out?
She very clearly looks at the intimacy you two shared with discomfort, so it's best to let her be.
I appreciate your concerns for her etc, but there can be no going back. It's best you forget the episode and behave normally with her
B.J.HANJI: By arrangement marriage I married a businessman guy recently but found he is not the perfect match for me.
He wants me to housewife and obey whatever he says, and my dream to work and live vanished hurting very much.
My parents are not supportive if I separate, how to move on?
Love Guru: B J Hanji, your situation seems dire, but not uncommon. It is good, however, that you are thinking of moving out.
The first issue that should concern you, naturally, is economic independence.
I hope you have given that considerable thought and have your employment options ready. Everything else flows from this point
Raja Krishnan: I am a married guy and happy with my wife. I love a girl who is separated and are good friends.
I had proposed to her 8 years back, she declined.I continue to love her, whether she reciprocates or not.
My love for her is so intense that I want to see her happy and prosperous. I am going out of my way to help her achieve her dreams. I care a damn about society and others
Love Guru: Raja Krishnan, hats off to your noble attitude. If only all married men, I mean lovers were as noble as you are, the world will be such a wonderful place.
In the meantime, in all your sacrificial attitude, I hope you are not neglecting your family, which should come first
Anish Nair: [SKB] hi lg i proposed a girl she said yes to me I'm in 11th class and she is my classmate after two days one of her friends said to the rest of the class that were engaged in a relationship.
Now she is scared that one of our classmate could tell this to the teacher so last night she said to me to forget her.
I'm in tension pls tell me lg what to do
Love Guru: Anish Nair, the number of relationships that have suffered because of overenthusiastic friends is countless, and you've just added to it!
Since you two are in the same class, don't message her back but talk to her.
She has genuine fears, of word getting out etc. So reassure her that you will protect her image, and the two of you should talk her classmates about not spreading the word.
Illustration: Dominic Xavier/Rediff.com
Advice from the Love Guru does not reflect the opinions of Rediff.com and should not be considered in the capacity of professional counselling.
(Due to circumstances beyond our control, date and time of chat may change)
