"You decide whether your marriage is worth it post-conversion.
"Personally, I believe that love and marriage should be unconditional and the minute one starts making conditions there can be no end to it."
Rediff.com's Love Guru has answers to all your relationship problems.
In an online chat every Thursday, Rediff.com's Love Guru addresses relationship problems and attempts to offer earnest solutions.
For those who missed the chat on October 29, here's the transcript:
shivneri: hi I go to matri sites but the guys I met are ok with chatting but don't take the step to commitment.
It frustrates me and makes me feel that they may be doing just ... timepass....they seem to be ok with chatting... not committing...are such guys ever going to marry ...
Love Guru: Shivneri, well, what can I say, except that men will be boys.
There are a few good ones, too, but it's like sifting through tonnes of coal to find one carat of diamond. So my advice is, keep looking:-)
vaishali: LG, I am a Hindu and love a Christian guy and his parents have agreed to our marriage only if I convert my religion.
My parents have strictly adviced me to stay away from the guy and the family. My BF and I are torn between our parents' choices. Pls advice.
Love Guru: Vaishali, I have no advice to offer about religious conversion. You decide whether your marriage is worth it post-conversion.
Personally, I believe that love and marriage should be unconditional and the minute one starts making conditions there can be no end to it
Vaishali, I don't advise on religious choice. If you think it's okay to convert to marry, go ahead, it's your choice.
You risk alienating your parents and the family you are born into, but that's again your choice.
Deepak Patil: love guru my gf not even look at me please help me
Love Guru: Deepak Patil, have you asked her why? Has she broken off with you?
Did you two have a fight? Maybe she expects you to say sorry, make up to her?
I also hope that when you say your girlfriend, you mean that you two are in a relationship and not someone you pass by every day who you think likes you etc?
sun bart: what is love?
Love Guru: Sun bart, I don't know. Some say it's just a 4-letter word, some say it's for keeps, but what I think is it it what we make of it. So it means different things for different people
Gurdeep Singh: I am Deepak, Due to some misunderstanding with my gf, she has totally disconnected from all ways, I wants to clear my position that I am not responsible for the problems which she faced. I still love her, but she does not ready to understand. Please help me.
Love Guru: Gurdeep Singh, when you say she has disconnected from you in all ways, you mean she has changed her phone number, her email id, address, everything?
Wow, then it wasn't just 'some misunderstanding' as you call it, but something very very major.
The fact that something that has affected her so deeply doesn't seem big enough to you, shows why she has done what she has.
suvarna harini: Namaste i am an hindu in my life i am not able to find a good partner i got divorced, my only problem is whom i met they expect me to spend money on them in turn till today i didn't expect any thing from them what may be my fault i want to know
Love Guru: Suvarna Harini, it's hard for me to say why you've been unable to find a good partner, maybe you should ask the women on who you say you spent good money as what was it about you they didn't like.
Who knows, they may tell you, and if you feel what they has merit, then you can try changing yourself
abcrockz: In laws claim I am insane. How do get out of this and get my wife back
Love Guru: Abcrocks, advising people on getting out of a divorce case is not my skill set, so I cannot advise you there.
But from what I know, divorce courts hear both sides before giving its order, so instead of pleading your case before me, find a good lawyer who will plead your case in the family court and help you win back your wife
subbu: I was in real love with a girl in Mumbai in 1996, but to my family issues, we would not marry her.
We respected our decision, too got married with other man, they separated.
Honestly I remember every morning I wake up, I feel guilty that I ditched her and ruined her life.
I even apologised to her several times but the conscience pricks me almost every minute of life.
Love Guru: Subbu, and what is it you want to do?
Make amends to her? If you are single, sure, there are no issues.
But if you are married and have a family, don't spend too much time in the past.
Don't try and get involved with her, she has chosen a path and too bad it didn't work out. Leave it at that, and focus on your life
SOVAN SENGUPTA: I am almost 60 years old. Hindu and married.
I am in love both mentally and physically of a Christian married lady aged about 50 years.
I get pleasure from her a lot. She also blindly loves me. What is next?
Love Guru: Sovan Sengupta, unfortunately my skills don't extend to forecasting the future, I only give advice to people facing relationship problems.
But evidently you are not among them, so continue the good work. Next is what the two of you jointly decide to do
Illustration: Uttam Ghosh/Rediff.com
Also read
- 'She insulted me. But I still care for her'
- 'My wife wants to control me'
- 'Her brother is threatening me. What to do?'
- 'My mother-in-law rules my family. Help!'
- 'My wife left me. How can I get her back
- 'Is it advisable to tell my partner about my past?'
- 'I don't know whether she loves me or not'
- 'My GF does not like me talking to other girls'
- 'I don't think my GF loves me any more'
- 'I've suffered failure in love for the fifth time'
- 'I feel like marriage is my chance to escape poverty'
Advice from the Love Guru does not reflect the opinions of Rediff.com and should not be considered in the capacity of professional counselling.
