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Rediff.com  » Getahead » How to spice up your love life

How to spice up your love life

By Pearl Mathias
January 02, 2016 11:26 IST
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The key to a successful relationship lies in the little surprises you plan along the way.

How to spice your love life

You know how it's all flowers and candy for some, boozy and bubbly for the others at the start of a relationship.

When all you cared about was calling her up first thing in the morning and hanging out with him for the rest of your summer break.

In the matter of months, it isn't the same. You know each other too well.

The love is there, of course, but what's missing then?

Pearl Mathias gives you a glimpse into some things you could do to rev up your relationship and break through the mundane...in alphabetical order.

A:  Adventure

Don't let the thirst for doing new things die out.

You don't necessarily need to jump off a cliff with them, but small things like long car drives to new places or just trying new cuisines together will help keep the spark in the relationship.

B: Build on

You've got to keep working on your relationship day after day.

It is not a one-time investment that takes care of itself. Keep feeding it.

C: Curiosity

Whether you've been together a few weeks or for a couple of years, never stop being curious about each other.

Always want to know more and do more.

Keep questioning and remember the smallest things about them.

D: Dress up

You may wear pyjamas to a dinner and they'll love you anyway.

Even if you've reached this stage, make it a point to dress up for them once in a while, they'll dig it.

E: Enthusiasm

You'll may not be on the same page about most things most times, but try to be enthusiastic about what the other likes even if you're not particularly interested.

F: Food

There's so much to discover with regards to food out there.

If you can cook, go ahead and make them their favourite meal once in a while or maybe something totally out of the usual menu.

If not, don't fret, there are tons of outlets for every palate out there.

G: Gratitude

Be grateful for your partner. Not everyone is fortunate enough to have someone to share their lives with. So, compliment them all the time.

Tell them how lucky you are to have them in your life and don't ever take them for granted.

H: Hike

There are beautiful places in the city with breathtaking views at all times of the day.

Climb a hill and see the world out there.

If neither of you fancy hiking, you can also take a long walk along the beach or have a picnic at the local park.

I: Innovate

Try coming up with new things that are solely yours.

It could be a meal, or a concoction of a drink or maybe a story line or a cartoon.

Inspire each other and blend in your thoughts to create something that belongs to just the two of you.

J: Joke

Life is too short to not have a sense of humour.

There will be times when you need to be serious but every moment together shouldn't be spent that way.

Have a few inside jokes and joke around with each other.

K: Kiss

Kiss their forehead, their cheek, their nose and everything in between. Kiss a lot. Show them you love them, you want them, you need them; either sloppily or with just a peck.

L: Listen

Listen to them talk. Listen to every little detail even when you're just back home after a really tiring day.

Even when you don't have a clue about what they're going on about. Even when you're dying to say something. First, listen.

M: Mingle

Don't exclude yourselves from the outside world.

Hang out with your partners friends, take him/her out with yours.

Don't get caught up in your own bubble all the time. It's also always healthier to maintain your own personal relationships with your friends.

Let them go out with theirs and you hang out with your own.

N: Nickname

Come up with a cute nickname for your significant other, apart from the usual baby, sweetheart and darling.

It could be with regards to something quirky you like about them.

You don't necessarily need to use it in public. It can just be something just the two of you know about. Like a secret.

O: Obsess

Fuss over them. Fuss over every mood, every phase, everything they like or dislike.

Don't be super-obsessive that it gets borderline annoying, but show them that what they like or how they're feeling really matters to you.

P: Photographs

You don't need to take pictures of every single thing you'll do, although that is fine as well. But if you're not the regular selfie-taker, pose for a few.

Months later these very photos will get you smiling. Even though you won't forget, it won't harm to save some memories on film.

Q: Question

And I don't mean interrogate suspiciously. But ask them about their day, their favourite drink, what they dreamt about.

It could be anything. Questioning shows that you're really interested in knowing all about them, even the tiniest details.

R: Respect

We're all human, we're wired differently and no matter how well you click with someone, there's bound to be differences. Remember the 'agree to disagree' formula at all times.

S: Sing

It could be at home, in the car or at a karaoke bar; sing your hearts out when you hear a familiar line. And maybe when you'll share a moment while belting out lyrics, you might find your couple song!

T: Travel

Pick a weekend, pack your bags and head out of town. Go as far as that train can take you. Indulge in nature, discover yourself and each other.

U: Understand

Sometimes you just need to get that things won't turn out the way you expected and you need to be fine with that, however much you wanted for it to happen.

V: Vocalise

If something's bothering you, don't bottle it up, just talk about it. Don't expect the other to figure things out themselves. Not everyone is a mind reader.

W: Write

Be it a poem, a quote, a note or a letter; write them something. It's the easiest way to portray your emotions and it'll brighten up their day as well.

X: Ex

Leave jealousy aside, it's a real waste of an emotion. Focus on your present. Your partner is with you now and that is all that matters.

Y: Yield

When you're having one of those never-ceasing arguments, try to yield. Let your pride take the back seat. It's worth it.

Z: Zealous

No matter how old you get or how long you'll have been together, don't forget the youthfulness and enthusiasm you had at the start of your relationship.

Have the same zest and passion for each other through time and tide.

Lead image used for representational purposes only. Image: Roberta Ribeiro/Creative Commons

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Pearl Mathias