'I suspect my girlfriend is cheating on me'

Love Guru says, Hi there, folks -- welcome back to the Love Guru chat. Let's get started solving those relationship troubles.

gf asked, my girl friend not allowing me to have sex with her recentely, so i am in doubt abt our reltnship. i asked her did she has ne problem? she said no problem wat must be wrong i am worrying and became restless these day

Love Guru answers, Look, if you both have not had sex as yet, it may be that she is simply not ready for it. That does not mean that she does not love you or that you should doubt your relationship -- it means you shouldn't pressure her into it and give her the space and understanding she needs till she is ready. If you've been having sex and only lately she's been saying no, you need to ask her what the problem is and gain her trust enough to have her share the problem with you. It's a delicate topic, so make sure you handle it well. And if she says she is not enjoying it or anything to that effect, don't take it as an insult -- take it as a sign to maybe change your bedroom behaviour.

MOHINI asked, hi i am alone i am not good looking so nobody will me. please give me a solution. i also want a boyfriend.

Love Guru answers, You don't have to be Miss India to score a boyfriend, Mohini. It may have to do with your lack of self-confidence. There are guys out there who look beyond just a pretty package -- they want an intelligent, loving woman in their lives. And don't come on to every guy you meet -- that's a turn-off. Play a little hard to get.

akhilesh asked, akhilesh asked-hi LG to see my girlfriend only one time in a day, wiil it be possible to keep love relationship for long time.we love each other.

Love Guru answers, What's wrong with meeting once a day? That's more than many other couples can hope for, if they live far apart or are trying to keep their relationship a secret. Consider yourself lucky.

king asked, hi love guru!! i m 26 & working in a govt. company....i have been losing a lot of hair & it is still continuing at a very rapid pace...and i m virtually a bald man now...can u tell me whether it will hinder my chances when i approach a girl..???

Love Guru answers, Like I told Mohini, not everyone is looking for a mannequin to date. Don't worry about it -- some women even find bald men sexy! And here's a tip -- shave it all off, instead of keeping a few unsightly strands. You could also consult a trichologist to get to the root of your problem.

Prashant asked, Hi love guru I am an engineer and alone i have lot of work how i can give time to my girlfriend

Love Guru answers, You'll just have to make some time for her. I can understand commitment to your career, but you can't sacrifice your personal life completely for that. Else you'll wind up rich, but lonely.

thakal asked, Regards Guruji, Married for last 12 yrs , both working in good Co. Normal rela tions but in laws interfering much but she shows more loyalaty to me. last week she went to her parents home when i went to bring back ,she told she wants mutual Divorce along with cash etc. kindly advise

Love Guru answers, Meet her in person and discuss your marriage, as well as the interfering of your in-laws. If she's taken your side all this time, I'm sure she will see reason and be willing to give you a chance to make your relationship work.

Advice from the Love Guru does not reflect the opinions of rediff.com and should not be considered in the capacity of professional counselling.

Love Guru answers, Are you just friends or is there something more to it? If you're only friends, why bother to hide your friendship? Can't a woman have male friends after she marries? If you're having an affair, well, it was only a matter of time before it came out in the open, wasn't it? You can fool some people sometime, not everyone all the time.

1984dipti asked, hi love guru my bf is always busy wid his frds

Love Guru answers, So don't accept the situation -- tell him you expect him to make time for you. If he'd rather hang with his friends 24/7, why is he even in a relationship to begin with?

rsh asked, haai..i I broke 4m my gf 3 yrs back..but still cant get over her... pls help, what 2 do??

Love Guru answers, Having a soft spot for an ex is okay -- getting obsessed with her is not. The relationship is over, has been over for a long time, so cut your losses and move on. Do things you enjoy and stop thinking about her so much. Sometimes you get into the habit of reminiscing about sad things in your life, so much so that you even begin to derive a certain kind of satisfaction from wallowing in self pity. Don't let that happen to you.

1984dipti asked, he was used to yes we will met on sunday n he use to tel he wid his frds or in chruch on 1st nov my bday was ther n we going to met bt as usual he didt cm owing to this i got frsutrated n igav bad words i never gav bad words in my life bt i was frsutraed nw i cm to he met wid an accident he is angry on m e hwt to do

Love Guru answers, That is just an unfortunate coincidence. Tell him that you're sorry about his accident, but you had a right to be angry because he's ditched you so often in the past. You may have jumped the gun a little bit, but that's because he's failed to come through so many times. And that is his fault, not yours.

thakal asked, Guruji i offered her everything separate house ,car etc but she wants only DIVORCE .Everthing failed. Kindly advise

Love Guru answers, Well, the least she can do is give you a reason for it? If you've had a happy marriage, ask her why she wants to throw it all away just because of what her parents think? She's the one in the marriage and not them. And if she is happy with you, why does she want to give up on it?

amit asked, love guru i am in a relation with a girl for more then 6.5 years now...i dont know she never listern to me and then blame me that i am not understanding and all...she never try o understand my problem and want me to understand her's...when i said then find someone else she says she loves me and all...but i really dont understand what she want...please advise me what to expect or what u suggest

Love Guru answers, Don't expect anything. Both of you need to give each other the space to be your own person. Accept each other as you are and let each other live life as you see fit. That is the best solution. And don't give unwarranted advice about things. Advise each other only when it's asked for.

prakash asked, my gf is lesbian wat should i do..... she didnt enjoy with me....

Love Guru answers, Prakash, assuming your problem is genuine, there's nothing you can do except find another girlfriend who is heterosexual!

Love Guru answers, The law does not tilt in favour of anyone, it merely protects both parties' interests. If he doesn't want to work on his marriage, he can file for divorce. But if he loves his wife and she is not getting along with his parents, he could move out with her.

seema asked, i m married and i hve 1.5 yr old baby i am a working women i get tired at the end of the day taking care of house as well as work and dnt get time to give to husband means dnt feel like having physical relationship i am depressed as he gets annoyed with me evry now and then whts the solution

Love Guru answers, Seema, if you say no for sex all the time, your husband is bound to get annoyed. But since you are looking after a baby, working and managing a household, you can bring that to his attention and tell him to pitch in with everything. Just because you're a woman it doesn't mean all the responsibilities fall on your shoulders. Explain to him that if he helps around the house and with the baby, you'll be less tired at the end of the day and will have more time for sex. That's a fair deal.

djduhjd asked, Hi LG>>> si there any way that i can know my GF is cheating with me.. her mobile is all time busy and she is talking to a single person all the time... and whenever i ask her she simple says nothing is like that... plz tell me what to do..

Love Guru answers, Tell her categorically that her phone can't give a busy tone all the time if she's not on it and that she should tell you the truth instead of behaving like this. You can't blame the network service provider if your phone is busy constantly! Tell her it's a flimsy excuse and you can see through it.

prem asked, Hi LUVGURU,HOWS UR DAY?I M PREM.DEAR I HAV A PROBLEM OR SO I DUNNO BUT I M MOSTLY ATTRACTED 2 WOMEN OF OLDER AGE THAN ME ESP IN THEIR 30s,both pyscically n emotionaly.wats the REASON LG?

Love Guru answers, It's not really a problem, Prem. You simply find more mature women appealing. So what? As long as you're not chasing married ladies or grandmas, it's fine.

bodylicious asked, hi..i have an ocd and have difficulty in being normal with people. I see doctors and do meditation. But i need to know how to deal with people, especially, since i have problems. I misunderstand others ...others misunderstand my anxious nature. Plz advise

Love Guru answers, Well, obviously the doctors you are visiting are not doing much good. You need to see a well-qualified psychotherapist.

@@345 asked, In a budding new rekationship when should the past be discussed? Should it be discussed at all? How abt discussing things related to being physical in the past?

Love Guru answers, Don't decide to discuss it. If and when the opportunity arises, share as much as you're comfortable sharing. If your new partner wants to know about your past, don't hide it. Whoever you're with should be able to accept you for who you are and what you've done.

Lokendra asked, i am going to get married shortly, and my life partner is of the same age as me. is how do u see that in terms of understanding each other.

Love Guru answers, You need to connect mentally -- age doesn't have much to do with your relationship.

Love Guru answers, That depends upon the circumstances of the break-up. If it involved being cheated upon or abused in any way, I would say it's not worth it. If it was a smaller issue that can be worked on, go for it if you still love him.

SULEKHA asked, hI LOVE GURU....MY QUESTION IS...M IN LOVE WITH A BOY FROM LAST 2 YEAR....HE LOVE ME AND CRAZY FOR ME LIKE ANYTHING.....BUT HE IS MORE POSSESSIVE ABOUT ME......IF IN ANY POINT OF VIEW...WE HAVE CONFLICT.....HE START ABUSE ME LIKE ANYTHING.....AND THIS HAS HAPPEN 3-4 TIMES WITH ME......NOW ONE DAY WITH A BIG FIGHT, WE STOP TAKING TO EACH OTHER....NOW HE WANT ME BACK TO HIS LIFE....WAT DO I DOOO ??? I AM AFRAID OF THAT IF A RELATION RESUME, HE MAY ABUSE ME AGAIN.....PLZ SUGGEST.......THANX

Love Guru answers, Sulekha, don't tolerate abuse in any form. And remember, he is very, very likely to do it again. Don't get into the relationship again if you're unsure of him. Possessiveness, aggression -- these are not desirable traits in a boyfriend or life partner at all. If I was you, I would not go back to him.

sdfg asked, i and my gf love each other..but her mother interferes too much. My gf gets pestered in the effort to make a balance defending her infront of me and me infront of her mom. Further her mom has problems with her dad and hence would live with us if we get married. Do you think we should go ahead and marry...i am afraid her constant interference could affect us. My gf says her mom is too aged to change and that I should try to ignore whatever she says about me.

Love Guru answers, I can sympathise with her situation, being pulled in opposite directions by her mother and you. But if you can't get along now with ma-in-law, I doubt you'll be able to living in the same house as her. If she is old and your girlfriend is concerned, maybe you could consider taking up residence in two smaller houses nearby, where her mother has her own privacy and you have yours. And she can take care of her mother that way. Another option is for her to continue living with her husband -- what choice would she have if her daughter was going away abroad to marry? Option number three, if you can be such a large-hearted person as to tolerate the old lady and not let it affect your relationship, move in with her. But from the state of things now itself, I can tell you that chances of that working out are very slim.

swati asked, hiii love guru mine is distant relationship v met thru internet server frnz n its been over 7 months dat c r completly love wd each other ... but problm is dat frnklly v r not finding ways to meet he n me trying level best to meet each other. i knw 4 dis relationship meeting is too ompt 2 last bt i cant 4get him neither he how can i convince my parents ??? he stays in chandigarh n me in mumbai

Love Guru answers, I can understand your parents' reservations letting you travel alone to Chandigarh, but what's stopping him from visiting you in Mumbai? He's a man, after all. And please exercise caution, Swati -- Internet friendships can go heywire. So please wait till you meet and spend some time together before declaring yourselves in love.

rohi asked, hi lg i had frnd .1 day i proposed her she said no to me.and then i started cut of with her. but know she wanted to talk with me wht should i do. pls help ???

Love Guru answers, Why would you end your friendship if she said no to romance? Maybe she just misses you as a friend. Talk to her.

erfrd asked, There are more frequent clashes between me and my wife nowdays. Initially the frequency was less (1 in one month). Also she was not so much aggresive earlier but now she replies to me for anything as if she has no respect for me. Whenever i say ur behaviour has changed, she says that i am responsible for her bad behaviour. My son (who is 2 years old) is also affected by these daily quarrels. Pls advise what to do.

Love Guru answers, Why are you responsible for her bad behaviour? There is definitely something you're doing or have done that has annoyed her. Discuss it like mature adults instead of playing the blame game with each other. Do it for your son.

Love Guru says, Time's up, people. See you here again next week, same time, same place. Till then, take care and all the best!