The new fad: 'I broke off with my partner via SMS'

The present generation is sometimes referred to as the SMS generation, and this does not just refer to the actual act of SMSing -- it refers to the fact that attention spans have reduced in general. Everything is shorter for this bunch of people. It is evident in the rising popularity of concepts like T20 cricket matches, flash fiction that can be read in five minutes and mobile phone movies.

*Names changed to protect privacy.

With the possibility of sending out one message to several people all at once and availing of special group messaging discounts offered by network service providers, it's easy to send news to those you know at the my version of the break-up," says Shriram Ganesh*, 24, a Pune-based lawyer. "I wanted to do it before my ex got the chance to tell her story, because she had a habit of going and discussing all our private arguments with all our common friends. This time around, I wanted to ensure they knew my side of the story before she made up her version and went complaining about me!"

Break-ups via texting and social networking are not uncommon now. In fact, a couple of cases where people have gotten to know of their impending divorces via the status on their partner's social networking profile have made international headlines. Typing out the end of a relationship is impersonal, helps avoid an ugly scene, gives someone a chance to portray the break-up exactly as he/she sees fit and saves highly intense and emotional interactions. So who cares how your soon-to-be ex feels about it, right?

Bangalore chartered accountant Maria Mathew*, 26, recounts the story of how her long-distance boyfriend of five years dumped her over an SMS. "How impersonal is that?" she fumes. "Even an e-mail would have been better. I still cannot believe he broke up with me via SMS. If I was in his position I would have at least bothered to fly down, meet one last time and break up in a decent manner, as that is the least your partner deserves. And my rude shocks were not over there. Just two months later, I saw on his Facebook profile that he is getting engaged to another woman! The congratulatory posts from his friends alerted me."

Single. Engaged. Married. It's complicated.

Such tomtom-ing of one's relationship status is something very recent and seems to be a very crude way of informing others of one's breakup, or of getting sympathy from friends for a broken heart.

While working on a media ethnography study on young urban women, a certain group came across a gem of a blog (sadly, it has been deleted now). It was created by a young woman solely for the purpose of getting back at/ exposing the man who two-timed her and mistreated her in more ways than one. "This girl had put up snaps of her ex-boyfriend, provided details of his workplace, and every last detail of how he cheated on her, used her for money and was greedy for material possessions," says Mumbai-based Manohar Bhat*, 28, who was part of the team that worked on this study. "The responses she got to the blog and the reactions of those who knew the guy in question were enough to prove the power of the blog. Also, the attitude of the woman was distinctly different from the stereotypical damsel in distress."

Do you think there can be a valid reason for these kind of break ups? Have you ever gone through one where technology played a role? Share your experiences and advice -- e-mail us at getahead@rediff.co.in (subject line: 'SMSes, Networking and Break-ups'). We'll publish the most interesting accounts right here.