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Special: 'True friends matter more than anything'
On the occasion of Friendship Day (the first Sunday of August) we invited readers to share how they met their best friend. Here are some more responses we received...
During my first week at college back in 2006, I came across a very thin, tall guy named Tushar Bhatia. He was a Delhiite having his room next to mine in hostel. We had limited conversations till our first minors (one month after admission). During the minors he used to study in my room along with my roommate (we had rooms on twin sharing basis) and also used to sleep in our room. I thought that it would be over after the exams, but he continued to sleep in our room.
Later on I came to know that he was sleeping in our room because his bed was a bit small as compared to others (in our hostel the first room in the wing was a bit small, so the furniture was also made smaller).
We became good friends as we shared loads of time together inside and outside class. His down-to-earth character, simplicity and affable nature impressed me further.
There was one incident that really changed my attitude toward life. Three months after our friendship began, one weekend Tushar's parents came to meet him in the hostel in their BMW car. I never knew before that he had a BMW, so I asked him why he hadn't told anybody about it? He said that he was not comfortable with his friends knowing that fact.
From that day onwards I started respecting him even more as a good human being. We shared many happy moments together during our four years at college. Now he is going to the US for higher studies and I am not sure about when we will meet again. But I am damn confident that whenever we do, it will be like those good old days.
-- Mohit Yadav
Life they say is 'like a giant wheel, one moment you are at the top, the next moment at the bottom'. We all have our ups and downs and I was at the lowest point in my life when I met someone who went on to become my best friend for life. There is always someone who comes into your life and picks you up, when you are not able to get out of the slump on your own. This is one of those times.
I was lamenting over my break-up with my girlfriend. This sweet girl, my brother's friend's daughter, was on her way to her native place (in Kerala) and was having a stopover at my brother's place (Bangalore, that's where I stay). She was travelling with my sister-in-law. At first sight, I didn't think much about this girl. We just exchanged a typical "Hi" and that was it. She stayed in my brother's home for 3-4 days during which we just exchanged a few pleasantries. We didn't get a chance to talk much as I used to return late from office every day.
Finally, the day she was supposed to leave, I felt that I needed to meet her one last time before she took her night bus. I came early from office and went along with her and my sister-in-law to the bus stand to drop them. I had a feeling that I was going to miss her, even though we barely knew each other. I dropped her and my sister-in-law at the bus stand and came back home. Surprise, surprise! I got a message from her (we had exchanged cell numbers just an hour before). She was asking me if had reached home and thus the friendship bloomed. I came to know that she too was hoping that we met before she left.
She reached her native place, but the messaging continued and slowly the frequency of the messages increased from a dozen per day to a peak of almost 50 messages. We even started calling each other whenever we found time. The frequency of the calls also went up. We became very close and started missing each other and were actually planning to meet up if possible (I forgot to mention that she was from another part of the country and she returned there directly after the visit to her native place).
We used to speak for hours and used to discuss everything under the blue sky. We started liking each other very much. We used to share everything that was happening in each other's lives. It really makes you feel good to have someone special, with whom you can share anything without any inhibition. When we have a best friend, we can be what we really are. We have the freedom to do or say anything.
All this while, I had totally forgotten about my break-up (what a relief!). I am ever grateful to this young lady for this. But we all know that good things do not last. It's been a while since we last spoke or messaged. The frequency of calls and messages fell to zero all of a sudden. I wonder why! There was nothing that could have made her do this. She did say she's busy and needs to concentrate on her studies (she studies in college) and does not want to get distracted. So, I respect her decision and let her be. I hope one day, she would free herself and get some time to talk to me! Waiting for that day to come!
-- Pradeep Pai
It was way back in 1997 in the month of February where I met Sunil Padhy. He had just come from Orissa looking for a job and was staying with his uncle near my workplace in Bangalore.
One of my juniors, who was his neighbour got to know about his job search and brought him to meet me. He was just out of college and I had 2 years' work experience. I got him an interview at my company but unfortunately he did not get the job. But in this whole process of following up and helping him find a suitable job, we got to be the best of friends.
We are now married and have kids but our friendship is still strong and secure and the most interesting part is our wife and kids and our family are also so close that there is no hiding anything and our lives are an open book for each other.
It's a real blessing.
Thank you Sunil for being there always.
-- Anoop Satyan
It was my first day in college. I was in BSc first year. Too scared and reserved, I would not speak out loud those days. I had no friends in school and hence was feeling very alone. Though everyone in the class was a newcomer and unknown to each other, still people were friendly with each other. I was nervous and so decided to sit in the corner row at the second desk where some girls were in a group with some space between us.
As I put my bag there, the girl next to me turned towards me and said rudely (but softly): 'Yahan Arvinder baithegi' (Arvinder will sit here). I was annoyed with her statement, as if Arvinder had bought that desk or space! I simply replied "I will move if she comes". This girl was Meghna.
Fortunately, Arvinder was late that day and bunked the first class. I was relieved that atleast for 40 minutes I was not sitting alone. Meghna and I did not speak in that time.
After 40 minutes, the professor left the class and a girl entered the classroom somewhat wet and laughing to herself, moving fast towards our bench. I was sure this was Arvinder. But being very kind, Meghna shifted to her left and asked me to do so too. And Arvinder sat on my right. We 5 girls adjusted on the same bench. What more... the group was set and today Meghna, Arvinder with Nidhi and Asha are my best friends. Further me and Meghna still remember that day and what she said to me and we laugh together. I tell her about how angry I was too.
Now she is at her job and got married, but we are in touch and speak to each other regarding each and every issue in our lives. And most important, Meghna got married this year on June 17, my birthday. :). I wish I too get married on July 13. Amen.
Happy Friendship Day !
-- Anita
Click next to read more stories of Friendship...
'We still enjoy a riotous laugh, even after 55 years'
True friends matter more than everything in life for they share and speak and are the closest to your conscience.
On January 10, 1977, two young boys stood in a student's queue on an early winter's morning at a school compound for the first time in their crisp, white half-sleeve shirt and half pant. It was total awe for the boys of 7 years and more to attend a 1,000-student strong assembly for the first time. We introduced ourselves -- Shaharyar he answered. This blossomed into the best friendship of my life and still continues to be my most cherished bonding.
-- Tanvir Dagman
It was way back in 1989 when my father transferred to Azamgarh (UP). I had to join a remote school in that district because of its close proximity to the place where we stayed.
I really never realised how close I got to the person, until I started missing him in college if he is not around. We shared the notes and thoughts on almost every topic, be it politics or home.
We parted after the 12th in 1991 but by that time I had a good habit of keeping a diary where I use to write addresses of people whom I may be meeting some time in future. I wrote his name and address.
As people say, time flies. When I completed my graduation, followed by masters and I started working. Almost 10 years later I realise it is worth a try to find my old mate and I visited Azamgarh again in 2001. I could not get a hold of him but I got his entire story and whereabouts and also his mobile number.
Since then, no matter where I live (I have lived in the US, Singapore and UK since 2001) I don't forget to call him and have a word with him. The warmth he shows on the phone is worth of every penny and time I spent on such calls. We meet whenever I visit India.
I am meeting him again this August.
- Diwakar
I belong to Punjab and moved to Delhi almost 2 years back. Being a typical Punjabi, I wasn't very comfortable with Delhi's crowd. On new year's eve, I was waiting for my friends in a club. They were all on time. Deepak, a sweet friend of mine bought along Arvind, his friend from Noida. Deepak said he just came back from the Gulf and was alone at home. So he brought him to celebrate and asked me if I'll allow him in. I was very happy and we all had a gala time.
I danced with Arvind the whole evening. We left the club in the morning and I had to go to office immediately after that.
Arvind offered to drop me as I had already missed my cab. I asked Deepak and he said I could go along since he was a nice guy.
On the way to office, I got to know he is from my own college. We had spent 3 good years in the same college and same department. The student strength wasn't that strong either and I was Chief Student Advisor too, still we both were strangers. Later on we discovered we had more than 20 people in our common friends' circle.
That was Jan 1, 2010 and till date we continue being great friends. Whether it is discussing a professional issue, taking directions from him for Delhi, shopping, movies or calling him in middle of night to tell him I can't rid of a stressful thought or maybe the most stupid thing in world, I share it with him.
I guess I was blessed with a really good friend.
-- Aahuti Garg
I met my best friend in school at the age of 5 when both of us joined class 1 in St Thomas School Mandir Marg. She was a very pretty sweet girl and me a thundreous brat. We were both very very naughty and got punished together giggling away to glory standing outside the classroom.
We grew up together and I joined medical college and she Hotel Management. We remained in touch and after the college she got married to her sweetheart and I also settled into my life. As we moved on, sharing our experiences, our kids also grew up enjoying life to the fullest.
Today after 55 years of togetherness I feel that we as friends are like a rock for each other and we share almost everything of our life and guide each other, hold hands in distress but above all we have a riotous laugh when we are together. We forget that we are grandmoms. We enjoy with our grandchildren and they must be wondering if their Nani and Dadi are mad.
I am proud to have a friend like her. I am really blessed.
-- Sushma Chawla
I was studying in a boarding school in Kerala and the moved to Junagadh, Gujarat. It was my first day at Carmel Convent, Junagadh and I did not know anybody. During recess, I was wandering alone and a thin boy came towards me and asked me my name. Yogesh Selarka was also a new student, also moved from Kerala. His father was a businessman and after incurring losses, moved to Junagadh.
From that day onwards we had lunch together, played together and surprisingly, he stayed somewhere near my house. I used to visit his place often and came to know about his parents and siblings. As we became teenagers, we used to try to meet girls and tried unsuccessfully to become their friends. This was in 70s, when girls were very shy and boys did not dare to openly talk to them.
Then my parents had to move to Ahmedabad and once or twice we met each other in Junagadh and Ahmedabad. Thereafter life took turns and I migrated to Canada and he moved to Veraval and worked for Indian Rayon Factory. He could not complete his studies beyond 11th due to financial issues.
We lost touch for 25 years, but I always rememberd him. I was diagnosed with cancer and I wanted to meet him before my death. Through an unknown contact on MSN -- Dharmendra -- I got some help. I e-mailed Dharmendra who was also in Verawal to find Yogesh. I had informed him that he works for IRF. He was able to find him and got his cell number.
As soon as I got the number, I could not wait any longer and called him. He was very surprised. He too had suffered a stroke and consequently lost his job. Though he studied in English medium and was brilliant, he worked as a waiter in a small hotel. I decided to meet him after 25 years and went to Veraval in December 2009 and met him. We hugged each other for several minutes with tears in our eyes and love in our hearts.
Now I call him often and talk about our old golden period when we used to tail girls, steal mangoes from temple orchards, watched Rajesh Khanna's and Jitendra's movies.
My health does not seems to be so good but I will meet him once again and have a wonderful time.
-- Ravi
'To the friend I lost'
30 years ago, a happy face looked at me and smiled. Although I could only see greys and whites at that time, I am sure I must have smiled back at him. It was my first meeting with my father, the day I was born. Although I have no memory of that moment, I am sure it was just beautiful and the bond began, between a father and a daughter. This is how I met my father, my best friend.
Throughout my childhood, I made many friends, some who are still my friends. But my dad was always there for me, in laughter and tears. During my exams, he used to drive through crazy traffic with me to my exam centers and wait patiently outside until I came out of the exam hall, each time crying that I am surely going to fail the exam, and each time he would assure me that I would pass with flying colors!
All my friends found a friend in him...such was his nature. He never let me feel that he was 30 years older than I was, he always came down to my level in discussions, arguments, jokes. Even after he gave me away to my husband, he always managed to keep my favourite food items at home, whenever I used to visit him.
My dad made everyone around him laugh, although he himself was suffering from cancer. Never did he utter a word of complaint but used the remaining few years of his life in making others happy. Now that he is gone, I realise what a wonderful father he always was. My dad, my best friend...forever.
Friends may come and go but no one will come close to my heart like my dad did. He was a selfless friend. I will always cherish his memories and try to be like him, he has taught me to be a true friend to my friends so that the chain continues. Here's to my dad, my true friend, my best friend.
-- Madhura Patwardhan
I had one friend who I can say is the best friend in my entire life till now. Her name was Damani Hemalatha. I was in sixth standard and was attending tuitions at Sainiketan, Hyderabad. There was a rule in the Sainiketan that those who got the highest marks in the weekly test would get their names put on the noticeboard. I got full marks in the first weekly test and I found my name on the board. I felt very happy. That moment she came to me and congratulated me.
I found that she is not only my classmate in tuition but also a schoolmate. From then on we became good friends helping out each other in every possible aspect. I was a reserved kind of guy. She helped me very much in academics and I started getting good grades in my class. As time went on we reached the eight standard and our friendship had grown with us.
This is the time when a few of my friends started behaving in a strange way. They used to say that ours was not a
friendship. One of my friends spread the rumour in the school that we were in love. All of them started to tease us both in my class as well as in her class. Even her friends convinced her by saying that I do really love her and I asked them to help me in this matter.
She felt hurt and stopped talking to me. I have tried so many times to talk to her but she never gave me a chance. I felt very bad and cried a lot that I lost such a good friend. I went to hostel, to different school and place for ninth and tenth standard. After I returned to Hyderabad, I found out that she left and I couldn't contact her. All I can say is that my friendship was as pure as god.
-- D Venkata Harish