Don't mention tension! Beat stressful situations

Here are some of the most stressful situations young people face and how they should be dealt with.

A few days ago, we brought you stress-busting tips to help cope with the pressures of everyday life. Today, we present six specific anxiety-inducing situations and tell you how to banish the blues.

Youngsters find themselves facing more stress in today's world than ever before. After leading the sheltered life that most of them are subjected to in childhood, they often find it difficult to cope.

The following are the leading sources of stress among young people:

• Exam (study) stress
• Job stress
• Financial stress
• Interpersonal relationship stress
• Sexual tension
• Peer pressure

Dealing with any kind of stress needs a certain amount of discipline and commitment. The following are the basic steps to manage any form of stress -- avoid, adapt, accept or alter the stressor.

Depending on the situation, one can use certain general tips as provided below.

Exam stress

• Set your eyes on your long-term goals: Remind yourself that letting go of little pleasures now is a means of achieving your objectives in life.
• Time management: Create a routine, a to-do list.
• Prioritisation: Your timetable should fit in your studies, partner, chores and leisure activities, in order of importance.
• Study ahead of time.
• Say 'no' to peer pressure and temptations.

Dr Suman Bijlani is the director at GyneGuide, a organisation that addresses health-related issues.

Illustrations: Uttam Ghosh

Competitiveness, deadlines, delegation, responsibility, unpleasant tasks, overworking yourself, long hours, and dealing with incompetent or irresponsible co-workers, bickering customers or a demanding boss are all challenges which need to be taken in your stride if you have to survive in the corporate world.

You need the job and your job takes up most of your waking hours. A job can be a source of fulfillment or pleasure, depending upon your attitude, the nature of the job and work etiquette. Of course, that is provided you are in the right job in the first place.

Check out these tips to make your office life agreeable:

Working on yourself (internal adjustments)

• Stay healthy: Eat right, exercise, get enough rest, de-stress.
• Positive self-talk
• Eliminate unhealthy habits which put you down, like staying up late into the night to chat on the net or play games, which makes it difficult for you to get up the next morning and doesn't let you get enough sleep.
• Share a joke. Smile. Laugh. It rejuvenates you and improves performance.

Change your environment or work habits or seek help

• Relocate: Change your cubicle or desk
• Vent: Find a trusted friend or family member to confide in and release your frustrations.
• Improve your home environment and relationships, which may affect your focus and attitude at work.
• Prioritise: Concentrate on the more important tasks first.
• Time management: Create a to-do list with enough room for 'me' time (to spend indulging in leisure, exercise, hobbies, your partner or chores).
• Take a break.
• Consider a change of job.
  

Take control

• Avoid mindless expenses and over-spending.
• Ask yourself, 'Do I really need this?' before you buy something.
• Make a budget.

Prioritise

• Save regularly, invest wisely.
• Get insured.
• Set long- and short-term goals and work towards them.

In times of crisis

• Ask for help from family or friends or get a bank loan.
• Get psychological help or support.
• Seek help from a financial advisor or trusted folks.

With the world becoming more and more focused on 'me, myself and I', this is easily one of the major areas of concern.

Relationships, whatever their nature -- with your parents, your partner, your children or your friends -- need to be nurtured and worked upon. One may have to deal with unfulfilled/unrealistic expectations, compatibility woes, sexual issues, annoying habits, irresponsible behaviour and even major challenges like physical or mental abuse, alcoholism and drug abuse.

Tips for a stable relationship

• Be patient towards your loved ones.
• Communicate: Everyone is different and unless you voice your perspective, others may not understand what you want or how you feel.
• Compromise: Make adjustments whenever they are justified.
• Do not bend over backwards to accommodate unreasonable demands on a regular basis.
• Be committed: Give them your time and attention. Be there for them when they need you.
• Do not give up easily.
• Work together: Take a close look at the stressors in your relationship and take mutual responsibility to clear them.
• Work on your attitudes: Identify stressors in your life and eliminate self-destructive habits.
• Fresh perspective: Take a second look. Look at the bigger picture.
• Break up: The final straw. If the differences are irreconcilable, separating is better than suffering together.

Young couples have unique issues with sex, like improper knowledge about sex, birth control and sexually transmitted diseases, pre-marital sex, body image and performance anxiety, and raging hormones which may lead to impulsiveness and rash decisions.

Older couples have their own set of problems -- boredom, monotony, extramarital relationships, menopause and medical disease can all affect your sex life.

How to avoid sex-related stress

• Educate yourself soundly about sex, birth control and prevention of sexually transmitted diseases.
• Avoid pre-marital sex or at least use adequate birth control.
• Maintain proper communication about each other's sexual needs and attitudes.
• Show sensitivity in matters related to sexual performance.
• Develop mutual respect, trust and understanding.
• Seek professional help whenever indicated.

Teenagers today cannot escape this. For many, friends and peers become a haven to escape from the harsh reality of their home environment (busy parents, very high parental expectations, punitive attitudes, exam and career stress, broken homes, child abuse, alcoholism etc) .

Most teenagers would go to great lengths to 'fit in with the crowd'. S/he may indulge in over-spending, undertake anti-social activities, take to drugs or indulge in pre-marital sex to appear 'cool'. This is a very dangerous trend and family and cultural values take a back seat. This leads to fear and guilt among children, as well as a communication breakdown with parents.

Parents need to give their children a healthy upbringing so that they build high self-esteem and can say 'no' when need be; and a warm home, so children can voice their fears and doubts freely.

Tips to deal with peer pressure

• Be knowledgeable on issues related to sex, drugs, alcohol and smoking.
• Have a clear stand and make your own choice in these matters.
• Stand for what you think is right.
• Never partake in activities such as ragging and bullying.
• Confide in family or siblings. Ask for support.

Remember, you have to face the consequences of your actions and no one else!