How to prepare financially for a divorce

Divorce, or the end of an emotional and legally recognised relationship between a man and a woman is perhaps one of the most painful events in a person's adult life. We can prevent it from happening by handling sticky situations with some calm and wit. But as we all know there are times when things become unavoidable. Then the intelligent move will be to prepare yourself for the unpleasant situation rather brood over it.

Here's what MoneyQuin.com suggests women should do when headed for a divorce.

Stop living in denial

Once you finally recognise the marriage is not working out after you have genuinely tried to save it, start preparing for its demise, before your partner and the situation overwhelm you. And quicker you are in preparing yourself for the agony ahead, better you can handle yourself mentally, psychologically and very important, monetarily.

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The process of filing a petition in the court and going through the entire process before judge reverses your solemn pledge, is quite frustrating and a big drain on your resources. The best way could be mutual consent between partners that significantly reduces the process.

And if it cannot be, just be ready for a longer battle. And they, you need real financial muscles for this to hire good attorney and secure for yourself and your kids a good deal in terms of reasonable maintenance from your ex.

Stock up

On people and resources. Get people, mom, dad, sister, brother, cousin, friend on your side. This is not merely a battle with your spouse or India's slow-moving legal system, but with a part of yourself, which wants to go back to the past. You need support from people you trust and whose advice you can count upon.

Take a close look at your finances -- not joint because that will soon be past -- and assess how long will you be able to stand alone in the blazing sun and in rains. Start identifying your money, pulling it out from joint accounts and placing it firmly in your own control. So that by the time attorneys enter your living room and courts place status quo ante, you are in safe zone.

As the process of separation begins, with or without court intervention, you realise life is turning and twisting under its own weight. The entire landscape changes dramatically.

If it is you who is walking out and cruising into some other man's arms, may be you have someone to share the initial shock. But if you are alone, you need a lot more strength.

Most Indian women, irrespective of their rising income level, draw a sense of economic security from men. Many of the urban educated working women wouldn't really depend so much on husband's income for living as much as they do on their partner's perceived ability to manage investments.

Only part most women are supremely confident about is spending.

And divorce is not about spending, but about trying to control spending, secure income and insure one's living standard didn't take a hit because of the split.

Just don't let emotions destabilise you financially. Just give up the fear of or the sheer boredom of handling money. Take charge. After all managing money is not as difficult or boring as it is made to be!

Figure out your new circumstances, your new income, rework your spending, your life and health insurance, taxes, investments, and biggest of all your liabilities: home loan, credit card, car loan, other bills. And figure how you going to balance them.

No more joint, not anywhere

Cancel all joint debit, credit cards. Take your share of all joint savings, demat, mutual fund, public provident fund accounts. Replace your spouse from nominee in your insurance policy by your kid or other close person. Sort out with bank the repayment plan in case of a joint home or car loan. Don't move out of home if you have half paid for it without being duly compensated.