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Keep your break ups drama-free like these celebs
When it's got to end, it's got to end. But don't make a mockery of your relationship even if you're hurting. It is possible to take the high road, like these celeb couples did.
Marriages implode and relationships are called off all the time -- facing the demise of a relationship is something most of us have to do at least once in the course of life.
How most of us choose to deal with these break-ups, however, is another matter. He-said-she-said rumours circulate among common friends, bumping into each other unexpectedly can spark off another series of fierce rows (sometimes in public) and worst of all, if there's a child involved, a tug-of-war ensues, with each parent trying desperately to score an edge over the other.
If you're ready to put down that kitchen knife you're wielding and listen, however, you'll realise that all this is just a waste of energy once you've already decided that the break-up is final. You've decided to part. Okay. But unless you want to be the subject of conversation at other people's dinner tables and cocktail parties for the next couple of years, you'd better think of getting through it gracefully and with as little fodder for gossip as possible.
In other words -- act your age and let go of the bitterness. At least that's how the couples in the following pages handled things and remember, being in the public eye makes it twice as hard!
Reena Dutta and Aamir Khan
It's been seven years since Aamir Khan served ex-wife Reena with divorce papers, after two children and a decade and a half of marriage together. But characteristic of their 'Khan'daan, they kept things under wraps and maintained a dignified silence about their split.
Despite the fact that Aamir married Kiran Rao back in 2005, he has always maintained an amiable relationship with Reena. When they divorced, he is believed to have bought her a home close by to grant him access to his children and she has shown support for the father of her kids by attending important family functions, last year's premiere of Aamir's blockbuster 3 Idiots and even taking a family vacation with her ex-husband, his wife and their children together.
Lessons to learn from their split:
- Try to give your children as much of a semblance of being a family unit as possible.
- Don't air dirty linen about your failed relationship -- keep it under wraps.
- Try to remain on good terms even if you're no longer life partners.
Demi Moore and Bruce Willis
When Hollywood stars Demi Moore and Bruce Willis pulled the plug on their 13-year marriage back in 2000, they vowed to respect each other and present a friendly front for the sake of their children. That's a cliched line we've heard several times from famous couples and it's usually within a few days that the accusations begin to fly.
True to their word, however, Moore and Willis have always maintained a warm friendship, one that even withstood the former's marriage to Ashton Kutcher, an actor 16 years her junior. In fact, Willis was best man at their wedding! Not only do they hang out, but they gamely pose together for the cameras whenever they're seen out and about. It seems strange to many, but it doesn't look like they care what people have to say!
Lessons to learn from their split:
- Don't let others' judgements of your situation influence your behaviour. Do what's right for you.
- A break-up doesn't necessarily have to be somebody's fault.
- When the dynamics of your relationship change along with your life, embrace those changes instead of analysing them and living in the past.
Amrita Singh and Saif Ali Khan
Here's another Khan from B-town who went through a much-publicised divorce in 2004 without so much as breathing a word about it to the media.
Taking the high road, both Amrita and Saif, who are not known for mincing words, continue to share their parental duties and have remained friends even after their split. The actor may have had a string of girlfriends and link-ups post his divorce, but that has not in any way deterred Amrita from keeping up a cordial relationship -- she has even been quoted as saying that part of his life is not her business anymore.
Still, they take their children out together and have even been seen sharing the odd meal at a restaurant. In fact, when Saif was hospitalised in 2007, despite then-girlfriend Rosa Catalano's presence, Amrita made it a point to visit him along with their children.
Lessons to learn from their split:
- You can still be there for your ex in times of need without having ego problems about it.
- Don't interfere in your ex's life beyond what is called for.
- There's a difference between being upfront and honest about your relationship and guarding your privacy -- respect it.
Elizabeth Hurley and Hugh Grant
Their relationship weathered 13 years and the actor's tryst with a prostitute in 1995, a misdemeanour he was arrested for.
But when British bombshell Liz split from Grant in 2000, they didn't have a bad thing to say about each other. And surprise, surprise, they remained the best of friends, even without a child to bind them together.
Although Grant did not attend Hurley's wedding to Indian tycoon Arun Nayar in 2007 (he did not want to generate a media frenzy), he is godfather to her 8-year-old son and has even been spotted vacationing with the couple.
Lessons to learn from their split:
- You don't necessarily need to share a child to bind you together; you can still be compatible as friends.
- If your ex's current partner was not the reason behind your split, there's no reason why you can become friends with him/her too.
- Know when to maintain a respectful distance from each other.
Preity Zinta and Ness Wadia
This was one relationship everyone thought would culminate in marriage. After all, Preity and Ness were together four years and even own an IPL team together!
When they went their separate ways just before the cricket season began, however, the two had no choice but to face a barrage of questions about the state of their equation. To their credit, they kept mum about things and while they did avoid each other at several matches, Preity and Ness were also seen hugging each other after a victorious win by their players. What's more, they continue to remain business partners.
Lessons to learn from their split:
- Don't cut off your nose to spite your face -- if both your interests are tied to common ground, put up a united front.
- Learn to make the best of uncomfortable situations.
- Know that you're not answerable for your personal life to anyone but yourself.
Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee
There are very few things Pamela Anderson seems to do right when you consider her tumultuous life, from her infamous sex tape to her four marriages (twice to rocker Tommy Lee, who is also the father of her two sons).
But when it comes to maintaining civil relations with your ex, you can't point a finger at these two for sure. They've always maintained that they are good friends, often to the point of people conjecturing that there's a reunion in the works. But there hasn't been -- there have only been two more marriages for Pammie, while she and Lee continue to remain friends. In fact, she even moved in with him for a time while her home was getting renovated recently.
Lessons to learn from their split:
- No matter what else is happening in your life, try to keep your relationships trouble-free.
- There's no reason why new relationships need impact an old one.
Shilpa Shetty and Akshay Kumar
When Akshay dumped Shilpa to marry her friend and actress Twinkle Khanna in 2001, she was understandably upset and their affair ended with bitter feelings on both sides.
However, these two have shown that they've grown up, matured and have left the past behind them. When a UK tabloid published a derogatory write-up about the once-couple after Shilpa's Big Brother win and attributed certain quotes to the actor, Akshay promptly issued a threat to sue, saying he would never talk about a lady in those terms. And Shilpa, for her part, refused to believe that the actor would speak like that of her.
In fact, she was gracious enough to welcome Akshay onto Bigg Boss herself when hosting the second season. Talk about letting by-gones be by-gones.
Lessons to learn from their split:
- Learn to forgive and forget.
- It's never too late to make amends, even a few years after a relationship has ended.
- Don't let anyone get away with untrue and idle gossip about your relationship just because it has ended. Show respect for your ex.
Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise
And finally, we come to one of Hollywood's biggest splits. When A-listers Nicole and Tom headed to court after 11 years of marriage and adopting two children, speculation ran rife as to the reason behind their divorce.
But even with the paparazzi hounding their every move, helicopters circling their home and interviews galore, that's something they've managed to keep that a secret. All Nicole had to say about separating from her vertically-challenged powerhouse hubby was, "At least I can wear heels again!"
Now both have remarried and have biological children of their own. But that hasn't stopped them from remaining on good terms and Tom still refers to his ex with familiarity as 'Nic' when giving interviews.
Lessons to learn from their split:
- You know you can take the high road if you really want to, despite any feelings of bitterness or other obstacles.
- There's no reason to be uncomfortable discussing your ex, nor do you have to feign ignorance about his/her life.