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Your upbringing: Are you a prince or a pig?
We weigh in on the itty-bitty behaviour and manners that speak volumes regarding your upbringing!
So you're intelligent and hard working. You're sincere and mean well. That's all that should count, right?
Unfortunately for you, no.
Etiquette, manners, proper decorum, whatever you want to call it: They matter.
And that's not without reason, either.
Think about how the public would interact without any strictures or laws governing its behaviour. There'd be chaos!
Additionally, these seemingly tiny things are big-time indicators of your upbringing. And, as we all know, it's hard to unlearn something as fundamental as your basic character.
Here, then, are 11 indicators of a good (or bad!) upbringing:
How you treat the opposite sex
Chivalry is not dead. So don't act like it!
On principle, you don't have to open taxi doors, or buy the occasional bouquet of flowers, or tastefully compliment someone on a new dress or hair style. Sure, no one's forcing you.
But you see that guy wooing all the ladies? Chances are he's treating them like princesses.
Ladies, it goes for you, too. A well-bred young woman will be confident and charming when speaking to men, but never so forward as to arouse gossip and suspicion.
On the other hand, looking at your feet and mumbling only leads one to think you've not been properly introduced to the opposite gender. And in today's modern world, that's a no-no.
Also, let's say you and friend start becoming much, much more. If you've been properly raised, you'll notify your parents as well as the parents of your potential spouse. Being afraid and doing things on the sly is a sign of weak character.
Public displays of affection, also known as PDAs, are strictly prohibited.
Bad noises
Thank you for the guttural and nasal symphony. Really. But we'd rather not listen in to your body's most intimate mechanics.
If you have to release some gas or take care of an itchy nostril, do it somewhere in private. A proper gentleman never slips up in this area. Never.
Besides, grow up. No one's impressed by your belching anymore. That ended in the eighth standard.
Ladies, this goes doubly for you. Nothing will mortify a prospective suitor more than a girl who has no 'bad noise' filter. So, please, turn it off!
Spitting and littering
It all boils down to respect.
Do you respect your fellow man enough not to inconvenience him with your phlegm bombs?
Do you respect your city enough not to desecrate it with crumpled wrappers and plastic bottles?
Usually, the first things a foreign guest notices about India are the paan stains and rubbish. Do your patriotic duty and refuse to contribute to the unsightly mess. Better yet? Actively seek out and stop those partaking in it.
And, ladies, it doesn't matter how well you dress and how well you speak: If you litter shamelessly, a lady you ain't!
Culture's not only found in yoghurt
Yes, the occasional silly comedy or action film isn't just optional, it's recommended, if only to let your hair down and have fun! Trips to the mall for shopping and snacks at the food court? Great, in moderation.
But, please, introduce a little high culture into the mix. Put down the mens' mag, log off the social networking sites and pick up a classic novel. Leave the multiplex and head for the theatre.
There's nothing more impressive than a young man or woman who can speak easily and confidently across a wide swathe of high-minded subjects. Be that person!
Tattoos and body-piercings
Again, there's nothing wrong with a discreet belly button piercing or tiny ankle tattoo. In fact, it's an interesting way to express a part of your unique personality.
But if you look as if you've just fallen face-first into an open box of pins and needles, it's time to tone it down. Same with turning your body into a living, breathing paint gallery.
Call it discrimination, but try applying for your average upper management position with multiple face piercings and a full sleeve of tattoos. Unfair? Perhaps. Reality? Definitely.
So, next time you're entering the tattoo and piercing shop, ask yourself: How will this affect me when I'm 40? How will this look when I'm 60? Chances are you'll scale down any ambitious body modification plans.
Respect my authority!
Ahh, how to properly respond to people in authoritative positions?
On the one hand, being abrasive or defensive or confrontational is downright foolish and headstrong. On the other hand, being unctuous and submissive reveals character flaws aplenty.
That's why the well-bred young man or woman handles authority appropriately, by balancing a very thin line.
Be it a boss, a potential father-in-law or a professor, when answering to authority you should be very respectful but also confident. Don't unnecessarily look for a fight, but don't be afraid to assert yourself within the constraints of good manners and common sense.
Polite conversation
A friend's beau gained a few pounds? Great. Don't mention it.
An acquaintance just missed that big promotion? Now's not the time to tell him where he went wrong.
One of the clearest indications one has been brought up well is the presence of a finely-tuned filter. You should know when to offer up encouragement, a little joke, or nothing at all.
Also, as a general rule of thumb, a well-bred person refuses to indulge in discussion about religion and politics in public.
While many so-called intellectuals heap scorn upon 'small talk', they don't realise how essential it is. Small talk is the lubricant for everyday interactions the world over. You must be well-versed in proper introductions, pleasantries, dinner talk etc.
But, remember, being polite isn't all about small-talk. It can be very sincere, too.
You must be skilled at helping others mourn with dignity, for example.
If someone's mother passes away, you give the person a call and ask how you can help. You offer words of condolences. And you do it all happily and earnestly.
Curse words
This one probably could have been clubbed with polite conversation. But, really, it's so important that we needed to add a separate category.
Vulgar language is so, so, so college-age. Once you're out of school and into the workforce, not only does cursing illustrate a poor upbringing, it also makes you sound corny, like you're trying too hard.
So, like video games, cheap alcohol and all-night study sessions, leave that vulgar language to a bygone era.
Good host, better guest
A well-bred person is a master of social graces. These skills are seriously put to the test are when one hosts and when one is a guest.
As a host, you must always be sensitive to the needs of your visitors: If there's a vegetarian guest, have you arranged food for him or her? Will snacks, dinner and drinks be served on time? Will you personally greet each guest and try to spend equal time with everyone?
Conversely, will you be a good guest? This means you must bring a gift and come on time, not early or too late. Will you then leave on time? Finally, you absolutely must not get intoxicated irresponsibly at someone else's home. It's not fair to the host and to all the other guests.
Responsible and organised
Yes, it's all well and good to mean well. But it's not enough. Are you responsible and organised enough to handle adulthood? This means paying all your bills, keeping accurate accounts, filing your important documents and sacrificing short-term pleasures (expensive dinners out, for example) for long-term gains (a bigger savings account).
Meaning well is one thing. But being dependable is quite another. Try to be the latter. If you're good to your word, chances are you've been well-bred.
Grooming
We've all seen them on television. The Bollywood star, crisp shirt blowing in the breeze, hair slicked back and frozen with gel, well-starched jeans, snazzy shoes and killer sunglasses.
You think these people are born this way? No, it's the result of careful grooming. And you too must pay attention to this area.
So, yes, the dusty chappals and half pants work fine on a beach in Goa. But, even on your days off, how you dress tells a very important story. Never forget it. Keep quality, stylish clothes that fit you and are always clean and well-pressed.
It's not only about your fashion choices either. Make sure you bathe every day, shave well and properly perfume yourself. It's amazing, the transformation you'll see!