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My dad, my hero: He never let us feel Mom's absence
Father's Day is coming up on June 20 and we invited readers to share unforgettable memories of the time they spent with their dad. Here are some of the responses we received. Share yours!
People often say that daughters are very close to their fathers and sons their moms. Don't know how far it is true but in my case there are no two thoughts. Being the only daughter, my father pampered me a lot... nevertheless he knew when to be strict and when to guide me onto the right track. This picture [alongside] was taken casually on some random day when dad returned home tired from the office. The smile on my face shows how thrilled I was to see my dad late in the evening. the picture shows how secure I felt... the trust I had in him although I was up in the air, I knew he would catch me. That is a feeling all children have towards their parents. Some parents don't have time for their kids, but for my dad I was never a bother.
As my Papa's little girl, I needed him to love me, soothe me when I was hurt and keep me safe from harm. I needed him to show me who is good and what is good and help me to make the right choices. I am aware that my father has always been there to sustain me and to care. Only my heart knows how much he means to me. Without my dad I wouldm't have been the woman I am today. He has built a strong foundation that noone can take away.
He has taken care of me like a tender flower and would never want to see me wither. With happiness soaring sky high he got me married last year.
My father didn't tell me how to live... he lived and let me watch him do it!
I just want to let him know that my love for him will always continue to grow.
- Akhila G Sundar
I am a software engineer who migrated temporarily to UK to improve my career growth. I am the first graduate in my family and my father was a conductor in TNSTC. He is no more now. He taught me the value of hard work and patience. I still hear the words of advice he shared with me on the day before he died and they keep me going in life.
I had completed my thrid year of my engineering and was ebginning my fourth. He was dropping me off at the bus stand on his second-hand TVS Champ to catch a bus for Chennai for the final year academic project. This is what he told me on the ride to the bus stand.
"Kumar, I am 45 years old and I am not able to work much as a conductor. You have to take care of the family, your sister's marriage and yourself.
Also, keep this in mind always, learn to earn people more than money, because money won't help you to become a good human. Do the right thing and help those that you can."
Ayya (I call my dad 'Ayya'), I am grown now and earned more money and earned many more people. I love you Ayya.
- Sasikumar, Perambalur, TN
Being the only child, I was pampered by my dad, and he was a little over-strict also.
I was quite mischievous as a child and uncontrollable in my younger years. Dad being an navy serviceman was very particular about the upbringing of girls. From the time I was born till I was 24 (that year he was no more), my dad and I shared the whole world, everything from A-Z!
He would take me to school and bring me back right till class X. Dad would shield me from everything, whenever I was down he would be by my side. My dad taught me the importance of reading. He would always say if you read properly then you will write properly, understand properly.
An incident from school is still very fresh in my mind. I was being pulled up wrongly by the principal and a subject teacher. It was in the middle of a class and those days there were no mobiles so that children could speak to their parents if there was any trouble with the teachers or the staff.
School ended in the afternoon and till late noon I was not allowed to go home. My dad, who was waiting for me in the school compound, was worried when I did not come down from class. A classmate of mine told Dad that I was pulled up wrongly. The very next moment my dad was in the principal's office!
For the first time I saw him so angry and furious, staring at me. He asked me what the matter was and I told him what happened, dad ordered my subject teacher to be called and explained things to her but she wouldn't listen to him. At last my dad lost his cool and complained to the principal about the subject teacher. And at last my dad won and I was freed, plus my subject teacher was transferred to another medium.
Whenever I needed him he was always there for me.
Dad taught me to firmly believe in one thing: as you sow, so shall you reap. He would always tell me to follow jaisi karni, waisi bharni. Today, when I need him the most he is not there but he is alive in his philosophy which I follow come what may.
- Nalini J Kudalkar, Mumbai
The word 'Father' defined as 'founder' in the dictionary shows the grandness of the word and person. He would be the first hero for any child, at least until puerility and for me until now too.
My father brought along lots of positive energy with him that beamed across and altered me without my knowledge, whether it is in conducting polite conversation on a critical issue or inculcating discipline. Simple living is one of his ageless philisophies that he is preserves until today.
The most beautiful part, in fact, was he mothered me too on several occasions, when preparing delicious foods or delivering vibrant bedtime stories. He complimented his working wife perfectly, the whole family was spirited always. It was he who promoted my mom to higher positions in her job by reducing her tasks at home and showing interest in her professional developments by motivating her.
It was him that the local community always counted on, when it came to saving neighbours from a flooded house or to give encouraging words that could improve the morale of the community after an unpleasant incident that happened in the locality. Having arisen from the farms, he was the key contact in my citified residential area to handle snakes that would enter the houses through drain pipes in those showery days.
He made visiting new places like the historical city of Agra and spiritual places like Rishikesh, Haridwar and understanding them a special interest by meticulously planning a trip for every vacation. I have always felt proud to say my father showed me the complete Chola dynasty architecture.
Pa, you live fascinatingly and allure me positively without advertising your values.
- Ramesh Anand R
I lost Mom quite early in life. Ever since, Dad has given us the love and affection of both parents; he never let us 'feel' the absence of Mom.
Quietly suppressing his sorrow at the untimely demise of his life partner, he took care of his children to see that they are well settled.
Today, my sister is married and away. Till very recently, I was staying with him at our home, refusing to leave him alone.
However, recently, I took up a better job offer in another city and will have to relocate.
He's always been very independent and says I need to chase my dreams and aspirations and make something of my career.
I am at a loss as to how to leave him all alone. He is a senior citizen now, was just recently out of hospital on a minor medical condition.
He refuses to relocate with me saying his friends, his business is in the city we live in.
While as a son, I pride myself in saying that I take the best care possible of him, the prospect of leaving him to fend for himself brings on great pangs of guilt and I've decided to move back in a year, year-and-a-half, certainly not more than 2 years.
Every day and not just on Fathers' Day, I'd like to reassure him of our unflinching love and support. We look up to him every moment. We are nothing without him. We want him with us forever. He's the best Dad I or anyone could have hoped for, IMHO...My Daddy strongest! :-)
- Sameer Menon
I had written this blog about my memories with dad on last Teacher's Day...
It's been one-and-half years since my teacher/ father/ guide turned into a guiding star, resting in peace in the heavens.
He was a teacher not just by profession, but by his actions too. He had this special skill of teaching by example. He was an encyclopedia of stories, fables and incidents. He had a story to narrate for every situation at hand, or an example to
explain the solution to any problem at hand. Maybe that's why people always agreed to his suggestions and guidance.
Being the youngest of a middle-class family, I never had the luxury of playing with my dad as he was always busy earning and making sure that the family could make two ends meet. But now, after he has gone, I realise how great a teacher he was, because he has taught so many things indirectly. I think he made sure that he utilised every single minute that he got to spend with the family, even his silence at times taught us far more than anything else.
Maybe he was great at not just teaching by example, but also teaching by being an example. Nowadays, whenever I have a problem or a situation to handle, the only thing I have to do is to close my eyes, think about the situation, and then imagine how he would have handled it if he was there. And most times I get my solution! He is a teacher who can teach even in his absence!
When he was there I never realised that he used to behave in a certain way, or take decisions in a particular manner, to make sure that we understand the logic and moral values behind it.
The situations I face might be different, the problems I face might be of varying intensities but those moral values that he taught us, the logic of humanity that he instilled in us is still there. And when I follow his path, no matter what the
outcome is, I feel great.
He taught us how to win, and he taught us how to accept defeat.
He taught us to give respect, and then he taught us how to gain respect.
He taught us how to be gentle, and then he taught us how to be good with those who are not gentle.
He taught us how to make others happy, and then he taught us how to hide sadness.
He taught us how to help others, and then he taught us how to fight alone.
He taught us how to be good to others, and he taught us not to expect that others be good in return.
He taught us how to work hard, and then he taught how to believe in god's will.
He taught us that it's not between us and others, but it is betwin us and god.
He was a great teacher, maybe because he taught us how to get nearer to god.
But there is only one worry, I am not sure if I can be as good teacher to my kids as he was. If only god had let him stay some more time so that he could have taught the same things to next generation. On this day, I wish I can be a good teacher to my kids, just like my dad was to me...
- Naimesh Patel
I still remember the day 12 years ago when I was 7 years old and I came back from school and heard that my father left the house. I did not cry, I knew my father could never be wrong.
Today I know that my father had sacrificed his time with me and my mom for a reason. My father lost a lot of money in
the share market in 1998 and on this issue my dida (grandma) had said some offensive things to him.
We (me and my mom) met him after 10 years in 2008. I cannot not forget that day, we were all in tears and wordless for some minutes.
But he is trying his best for our happiness, he sends Rs 10,000 every month.
My father is simply great.
- Rubina Saikh, Hooghly
My dad expired 18 years ago when I was 16 years old.
One thing that I always liked and still remember about my dad was he used to have lot of patience and would listen to whatever you had to say. He never used to make a face or get angry at anyone. He always had a smiling face the entire day. He always used to get something to eat like fruits, chips, however late he may come. Every Diwali, without asking, he used to get fire crackers three days in advance.
I really miss my dad. I have stopped bursting crackers for the last 18 years, from the time dad expired.
Once again I really miss him today and wish he were alive today showering his blessings on us with a smiling face as always.
Dad, we all really miss you. Wish you a very Happy Father's Day!
- Sailesh Iyer and on behalf of his brother Rajesh (Ananth), Mumbai
Though my dad was not very formally educated, he was an embodiment of love and affection for us three siblings and utmost concern for all his relatives -- especially towards his brothers. The love he showered and the warmth he
expressed on me (his first son whom he named after his father as a matter of his abundant love for his father) is simply unforgettable.
I remember how he brought us up -- especially in the context of our having lost our mother while I was just a kid of 7 years. He was the personification of true love. My grief knows no bounds when I recall how fondly he would hug me and how affectionately he would preserve all the thick creamy curds for me whenever I used to come from the city for a break during school vacation.
He taught as to how deep one should love his/her siblings. He proved it several times by serving his ailing younger and elder brothers who predeceased him. He was a daredevil in showing blind courage, unmindful of staking his own life. I remember how he beat a village goonda who was incessantly threatening and abusing my uncle (his younger brother). Everyone was wonderstruck by his courage.
I still remember how he sobbed whenever I fell sick. My dad was my God whom I shall never forget. I pray that he excuses all the mistakes I committed towards him, knowingly and unknowingly. The maxim 'Mathru Devo Bhava' is very apt for my father. The only regret that haunts me till date is that I was unable to be beside him while he breathed his last.
I'm sure my dad, my hero is hearing my daily prayers and blessing me.
- Mallaiah Anchoori
Share your story with us. Simply write in to getahead@rediff.co.in (subject line: 'My dad my hero') and we'll publish the best entries right here on rediff.com
If you can, do send in a photograph of you and your dad too, to publish alongside your story!
What better way of showing your dad how much you love him this Father's Day?