Daddies and daughters: 'Making each day special'

As children, we want to be just like them. As young adults, we don't want them to venture anywhere near our lives. And as we blossom further, we run back to them for advice. Fathers! On the occasion of Father's Day yesterday, Shwetal Rai spoke to five father-daughter duos to explore the nature of this very special relationship.

She's excited about her new pink flip-flops and is flaunting a glittering pair of hair clip. Her million dollar smile reveals many missing teeth and with a nursery rhyme on her lips, she runs around the car to clasp his little finger.

Clad in blue denim, a slightly portly man busy with his wireless mobile headset locks the doors of the vehicle and turns just as she squeals in delight -- "Daddy!"

In that instant, the world becomes a tremendously delightful place for Abhijit Gore. Five-year-old Riva adores her father. She knows it's Father's Day and has made a special gift for him. "I am painting a picture of Esha (her younger sister) and me and then I will get it printed it on a tee-shirt for Daddy," she says. "The tee-shirt will say 'We love you'."

"My daddy is funny. He is very strong and powerful, just like 'Chotta Bheem'," gushes Bhavya Rajasekaran when asked about her daddy. She is going to make clay hearts for him on Father's Day.

What father wouldn't bask in pride and joy when his little bundle of joy ogles up to him in adoration? The twinkle in their eyes is unmistakable when you ask dads about their daughters.

Bhavya's father, Kulo Rajasekaran, tugs at a heartstring when he says, "I get to experience life through her! She has so many qualities that I don't and by just being with her, I get to learn so much more."

While daddies may be the most powerful and best'est' in the world, their failings don't glaze over the doe-eyed admiration that the little angles exhibit. Kulo says, "There are phases when Bhavya knows that 'Daddy doesn't know!' For example, when she asks me to do the Kareena Kapoor hairstyle, and apply makeup. I can't do this as good as her mommy."

This is just the beginning; these same angels become every father's biggest worry once they step into their teens. Raj Waghray, father of 12-year-old Tanvi says, "Tanvi is still a pre-teen, but, it was recently on our vacation to Goa that I saw signs of her asserting her individuality on issues she feels most about. Thankfully, so far it is limited to food and clothes." Tanvi admires her father's intelligence, but says that she wishes he wasn't as quiet and talked more.

At the verge of entering college, Eshita Kumar says, "Daddy is protective and it sometimes gets annoying..." So how does she deal with the image change that her dad has undergone in her own eyes? She puts it simply, "I know that he does it for our own good."

Of course, the fact that her dad, Rajiv Kumar, has taken proactive steps to address the issues his girls had, has helped. "I do dislike that he doesn't get to spend too much time with us because of his office work, but he's working on it. He has started coming home much before dinner so that we can get time to catch up on what's going on."

But how does a father deal with this change?

"I know my image has gone through lots of changes...starting from being 'adorable' to someone who is old-fashioned, traditional and strict," acknowledges Rajiv Kumar, father of two teenage girls. "I am not sure if I have learned to deal with it yet," he admits. "But one thing that keeps me going is that whatever I do should be in the best interest of my daughters. Knowing that behind my tough stance, they know I love them no matter how strict or tough I might try to be definitely helps."

Raj Waghray also admits that he hasn't learnt to deal with this image change yet. "For me, she is just a little kid and I do get taken by surprise once in a while, or maybe more than once in a while, when this behaviour surfaces. How do I take it? With annoyance at first and then with acceptance and love. Knowing that this will change as well."

Lavina Chaturvedi, a 23-year-old financial analyst agrees that her dad has grown with her. "He keeps up with the times!" She and her sister saw him with varied coloured glasses while she grew up. "We never really rebelled as such...just many disagreements. He would fuss about things sometimes, but eventually he would always give us what we wanted if it was reasonable enough. We love that about our dad. His anger is very temporary...it doesn't last long at all." The word that describes her dad best is 'chilled'!

Talking about the journey of life and growing up with his daughters, Rajiv Kumar believes that "kids do teach us a lot. I have learned to be more patient, understanding and to listen...really listen more."

For Raj, it was during the yearlong break he had taken from work, to travel and teach the APEX Corporate Excellence programme that he learned so much more about his kids. "Waking up the kids, driving them to school and going back home again in the afternoon, listening to Vividbharathi on the way back (and how the kids hated it initially!). And the car chatter -- listening to them talk about their school, their friends, teachers, the fights, gossip, fears, apprehensions, dreams and all the other small things that go round and round in their minds -- provided me a rich learning and help me became a much better father."

This Father's day, whether it is the cake that Sneha and Eshita have decided to bake for Rajiv or the lunch that Tanvi wants to take Raj out to, the simple phone call that Lavina intends to make, the clay hearts from Bhavya or the photographed tee-shirt, the emotion is unequivocal across girls of all age groups -- 'My Daddy Best'est'!'

And while fathers learn to deal with the image makeovers they are subject to as their little angels grow up, take heart in the fact that your daughter still is a little girl deep within and her favorite memory with Dad remains 'the scooter ride every evening', 'the occasional streetside pani puri' or just holding your little finger and walking down the road.

Making a day special for your father doesn't take much, says Rajiv, "It is not just Father's Day -- my daughters make every day very special. No matter how good or bad a day I am having, when I come home, I just feel relaxed and I feel like I have come back to a safe, loving and special family," he says. And that probably sums it up best.