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My dad my hero: He's a pillar of support
We invited readers to share unforgettable memories of the time they spent with their dad. Here are the final set of the responses we received. Thank you very much for writing in and sharing your moments of joy and sorrow with us.
A dad with lot of positivism (pictured alongside) That's my dad. I have always heard my friends telling that their dads have done this and that. Those are all expression of love.
My dad loves me . That's not understood by expressions. He is too strict but the way he teaches me about life is amazing. He was the one who used to plait my hair for me when going to school.
Once he just left me like that telling he won't tie it for me. My mom was also not there. It was a necessity to tie my hair. I tied it myself. If he had not left me like that, I would never have learnt it. That's how he taught me the lesson of independence. Each trait of mine is all his contribution. I learnt facing my terrible situations in life with a thought that he is there for me to support.
When others failed to help me out telling it's all your personal my dad was there telling me "Don't worry! I am there."
That's the main motivation for me to face anything whatever it may be. I was pregnant and most of my relatives and even my husband believed that I would have a c-section because of my pathetic condition.
He was the one who used to give me positive thought and said "Don't worry! You will have normal delivery. First try to believe yourself and God. I had a normal delivery. Till today, he gives me strength whenever I feel broken. He is my Superhero .
I love u my dear dad Thanks for being there with me in every step of my life.
Sai Geetha
I love the man so much, I feel to emulate him would be the best way to bring up my children. He had ambitions for us but would not be very demanding.
I love him more as I age and grow my own family. You never tend to understand what it means to be a father until you have become one. In the face of meagre earnings serving as a clerk in the Education Dept he gave us the best possible education.
As money was hard to come by, with debts at times, it was not a very easy task for him to balance his own life and the family. As a result some of the joys of having a raincoat or the entire set of textbooks were luxury.
Sometimes I would wonder how other children were lucky to have all and I have to manage with the little. There was a time when the fees for six months were in arrears for my sister and me. That was when he met the secretary of the school and requested for a respite. Knowing well my father's plight the generous man reduced the fee to half.
One disliked aspect of his life was he would have his daily quota of alcohol. He would be so nice before drinking but in the aftermath I would wonder how he would become very belligerent and irritating.
As a consequence, I can recall many unpleasant scenes at home which was otherwise was a peaceful one. I did harbour a little hate in the corner of my heart for this. But I realised that in spite of his drinking he never let down the family and gave his best to bring us up well educated. We didn't come to footpath because of his habit he constrained himself to that extent and was being highly responsible.
I thought he was stingy but in 1984 when he had a small wind wall in a business he bought me a Bajaj Chetak scooter for Rs 14000 paying a premium of Rs 7000.
Also he bought me a TVS 50 XL for short distance rides. I still preserve the TVS as a memory to his unprecedented generosity. I also realised during the years how much he denied himself to give us a good future.
Today I have a Ph.D in engineering and hold a big post in a construction company. My son feels proud of me as a great Dad. But deep in my heart I feel that I had the greatest Dad in comparison to who he has.
You were truly awesome Dad. You are no longer with us but you live forever through those fine moments you silently provided us and made us who we are.
Dr.T.K.Gunashekar
We (my sister and I) are proud of our father and consider ourselves really fortunate to be born to him.
You never travelled, so that we could see the world
you saved all along, so that we could lead a lavish life
you worked day and night, so that we could enjoy....
And the list could go on and on and on...
Even today we look up to you and wish we could be half as Sincere, half as Caring, half as hardworking, half as energetic as you....it would mean the world to us.
Thank you for always being there for us.
Love you Papa
Shweta Shetty-Patole and Smita Shety
Until my youth -- I always attributed my Dad's personality as idealistic, introvert, and dry nature (as he never showered his affection on us brothers).
Little did I realise at that moment how and when his personality traits silently seeped into us -- Disciplined, Loyal, Honest, Speak less and to the point, Hard working.
Now, let me explain and relate his traits and how it helped grow our nature -- He never accepted bribes during his banking profession -- we thought it Idealism, but it was honesty; He thought twice before speaking -- we though it was his introvert nature; He preferred to gave more time to his job and was loyal / hard working --- we considered it as his Dry nature.
Now, when he has left us five years ago -- our relatives and society tells us how much Ours nature reflect his personality. We were never aware of when we transformed and accepted his traits !!
We now, miss him a lot.
Neither he nor us --- shared our feelings and love towards each other, as we were both introvert. We could find very less time to interact with each other because of our job schedules. And when, we were at home -- I preferred to watch TV rather than speaking and sharing feelings with each other.
Even on his last night -- I went to bed at 10:00 PM to watch TV. Early morning, he met a massive heart attack.
I regret even today -- that I should have shared and lived every moment with my father -- should have shared our love/ affection.
But, time has flown. I could not catch it
Thanks and Best Regards,
Neeraj Dawra
Ludhiana
My father has been and is a pillar of support for me, during the worst of my times. It's a very comforting feeling that he is always going to be there for me, unconditionally. Many times we tend to take our fathers' presence for granted, and overlook the great pains, which they take to ensure even the smallest pleasures for us, while sacrificing all they have. Even today, my father demands nothing of me, never asks for any material gifts from me, but just wishes that I have a good life ahead.
A few days back, I asked him why he wouldn't show any emotion when he used to see us off to college after our holidays. He replied " If I showed it on my face, that would have made you weak. I used to cry alone after reaching home." I wish I had the kind of emotional stability he has.
Another of his great qualities has been his deft management of finances with his limited income from a government job. Today as I struggle to manage my finances even with a handsome salary, this is the skill I crave for.
His fearless and independent character, meticulous management of even day-to-day work,
We were five siblings, and he sweated his blood to ensure the best education for each one of us. We lost our mother at a crucial juncture when none of our careers had even started, and it was a battle for him ever since, which he eventually won.
All of us are today well settled, and I would strive to give him all the happiness I can, while knowing well that nothing which I do can match up to what GOD does, and I know that for me, GOD works through my father.
Prem Shankar
I am Gokul.N.K, son of N. Krishnaiah, or Kittanna as he is popularly known in his cirlces. At present I work at Mindtree.
A year ago at the incubation programme I was asked to write an essay on 'Whom do you consider as a role model in your life' I don't remember the essay exactly but it goes something like this:
Of-course my dad. Who else can it be? I am actually amazed at how fast I decided on the person who was my role model. I had not even completed reading the question but I had already decided on the answer. At every stage of my life I have been amazed by his nature and attitude. Most of the things that I have learned from him are not the ones he has told me, but the ones that I have learnt from him looking at him handle his daily situations.
The first incident that comes to my mind is the one that might have taken place when I was in Class 2 or 3. I was in a school called Jnaanavaahini School. It was a Kannada medium school. Those were the times when convents(A colloquial term for English medium schools) were in lime light, and sending your kid to a Kannada medium school was considered no less than a taboo. But my dad had chosen to send me to this Kannada school as it was known for instilling values and sense of righteousness into kids, which my dad considered was of foremost importance.
On a hot noon when my dad was taking me to shop on his scooter, we happened to meet a friend of his. He said hi to my dad and tapped me on my head.
He asked me "What school do you go to?"(Exact translation of the phrase as you use it in telugu). I said "Jnaaanavaahini". He turned his head towards my dad and gave a serious stare.And thus started his lecture on the benefits of sending kids to an English Medium School and what I was losing out because I was being sent to a kanaka medium school. After listening to his lecture quietly my dad said (Bhaaga chedive vaaLLu ekkaDunna bhaage cheduvutaaru). It can roughly translated as "Those are good at studies will be good at it, wherever they are". I stood straight, head held high, with full proud. That was easily the best compliment I had ever got. Even to this day I feel great when I remember my dad's words. The uncle then left the place thinking that the point he was trying to make, didn't go very well with my dad. The little me(I was little then ;) ) was still in my world of pride when I was interrupted by something my Dad said. He said (choostva nEnu bere vaaLiki emi cheppalla ani. nuvvu baaga chedivaali) which roughly translates "See what I have to say to others. You need to study well and not let me down". I just nodded and told nothing. But within my mind I made a promise to him. "Dad I will never let you down. I will prove you right."
That was my first lesson in management : Motivation By Trust. My dad, there he was praising me in front of his friend, which made me so happy, and the very next moment he told me something which made me feel so responsible. Those words were reverberating in my ears whenever I was de-motivated in the later stages of my life, and giving me the enough motivation to do well because I had a responsibility to fulfil and a dream to accomplish. In fact I did not let him down and did well in academics from there on. I joined an ICSE school and was the topper of the school from 5th to 10th standard. I had topped the class in all the subjects in 10th. Scored a 96% in PU, and 187th rank in CET. Did my engineering from RV College and now I work as a software engineer in Mindtree. In this time I have given him numerous chances to feel proud of me. Though I might have embarrassed him few times, the number of times I have made him feel proud has definitely outnumbered the other by stretch.
Everybody loves their Dad. But my respect for him is more than my love for him. He always told me what he felt was right but he gave me the freedom to do wrong (if I considered it right). Thank you dad, thanks for giving me the freedom to be what I am.
The number of times I was amazed by him is numerous, the ones I can recall are a handful, the ones I can pen down are just a few.
Gokul NK
Father taught me human values
To say about my father (pictured alongside) is to describe a sky or an ocean in few lines. I don't know where to start, how to describe his indomitable spirit, endless affection and bonding towards all human beings, tending helping hands with compassion and love to the persons who really need.
He came from a middle class family and has struggled right from his childhood till he raised us to established in life. Compelled to join Calcutta Port Trust at a very young age after Intermediate Examination due to family hardship. With religious bend in mind he was very particular to join family every year at the time of Durga Puja. Since the then British Management of CPT did not sanction leave due to work pressure, my father left the service then and there when he was married with two kids. Came back at his hometown Bankura.
After performing Durga Puja religiously, he started with a small business at his hometown. Virtually carrying the load of a huge family of ten members, comprising his old parents, younger brothers and sisters and his own family. There were hardships and wants in the family but never ever my father regretted any thing. Two incidents, I distinctly remember.
Once my father's eldest sister became widow quite at her early age and joined us with her son and daughter. My cousins were at their tender age and brought up with us, spent with us till my cousin sister got married and brother joined service and got established, made a separate establishment. We never see any helplessness on his face ever.
Second, when my fathers' youngest sister got engaged, my mother had given all her ornaments to my aunt at her wedding on my fathers' insistence in spite of our hardships and absolutely having nothing in hand worthy. Such was his bonding and spirit.
Gradually all uncles got settled in life, father was in his own business some how managing his family. I was in college, still haunt me one word of my father.
My uncles although settled and happily passing their married life at their place of posting with all amenities, still used to come to my father for help making false and ambiguous wants.
And my father used to extend his helping hand to them. Once I say a few words about my uncles' false wants to my father, he simply asked, why it's pinching me? Especially when, he does not make any difference whether his brothers or his sons receive his money.
After graduation, I came to Calcutta to pursue my Chartered Accountancy Course, in those hard days. Always my father extended his helping hand beyond his limit. Still I could not understand how he used manage such a big family with so little income and never ever he failed to send regularly the money needed for my higher education.
Once I caught with chicken pox and he rushed to me, served me almost a month leaving everything. He always encouraged me to be a good human being first and then chase worldly things. When I passed my Chartered Accountancy Exam. I still remember the joy and pleasures blinking in his eyes and glowing in his face. He was enjoying the success of his own son and given a good feast to all our neighbours.
After I joined service, got married, went various religious places with my parents. Once we were at Kanya Kumarika (Cape Comorin). My father used to carry bundles of fresh currency notes of two rupee and five rupee to distribute to the beggars. When he was giving cash to the beggars, a good number would surround him and they almost blocked our way. I got irritated. My father with compassion said why I am irritating. Why I am not thinking that by accepting his two-rupee/ five-rupee note he is getting immense pleasures. In fact they were obliging him by their acceptance not he is obliging them.
My father passed his life very simple, never had more than two sets of clothes, very religious. Maintained ancestral "Durga Puja" throughout his life, he always shouldered family burden pleasingly, extended helping hand to the neighbours. Never had any attachments towards worldly things. He was actively associated with "Bharat Sevasram Sangha" in social work and encouraged us to do the same.
He used to teach martial art to a good number of young people voluntarily and ardently supported to have a good health. He believes that the society needs dearly a bunch of young healthy people.
My mother is a patient of arthritis and is on wheel chair for more than six years. She is half paralytic and speech less after massive cerebral attack two years back. Very recently I have lost my father. He had to experience huge pains following surgery and was on ventilation for over two months.
When my father's dead body was brought to our house, my mother was profusely shivering due to mental shock. At the time of "shardha ceremony", which took almost six hours, from 10 am to 4 pm, my mother speechless, half paralytic with arthritis, was on wheel chair with folded hands, attended the entire ceremony. We felt the bonding, love, respect and compassion. Tears roll down from our eyes. Young sadhus of "Bharat Sevasram Sangha" read "Bhaghbat Gita" and prayed for his heavenly peace.
My father get me promised when I have become established in life that after his death, I should immerse his "asthi" in the holy river Ganges at "Har ki Pauri, Haridwar", then he will get the real mukti/ mokhya from this worldly life. He never asked for anything from me ever. When I performed puja and immersed his "asthi" in the ice cool flowing fresh water of holy river "Ganges" at "Har ki Pauri, Haridwar", then I felt that his soul has ultimately become divine and universal.
Today he is no more. My dad is my hero. I salute him from my core of hearts for teaching me to become a human.
Subir Dutta
I cannot forget my father who taught human values, no discrimination among casts/ religion. We are from a orthodox brahmin family from Tamilnadu. When you enter our house , you will notice a Jesus chirst photoframe and a Cross. We go to church monthly once and we go to all hindu temples. I Cant forget one instance, we have a celebration and he invited all relatives and his office staff. While taking lunch, alongwith the guestes, he called our watchman and his son. Immediately some of his office collegues stood up and told me that my dad has insulted by calling the watch man of lower caste. On hearing this, my dad walked to them and showed the same blood goes through all human beings then why this partiality?
After his retirement we are struggling to meet both ends, he taught us how to manage the family with meagre pension through monthly budget, cutting down unneccsseary expenses. Still we had two meals per day!
Though he is no more still we cherish his values!
regards.
C R sadasivam, Kuwait
First time in life I am having a chance to express my gratitude to my father.
My mother had passed away when I was in my teens. In spite of pressure, my father decided not to marry and raise us himself along with my great family -- Hats off.
I still remember my engineering admission he used to gather all the papers and run around with me for the admission, without him my admission would be impossible. Even now when we travel abroad he packs out bags himself and even creates a sheet of stuff packed and kept which side of bag. Amazing.
And most touching was during my engineering even though I had failures, never did my father once even uttered about my failure. In spite of absence of my mom, he has been the pillar of strength to make us capable to trot the globe. Thank you is small gesture to the Herculean effort. The above are just small incidences to reflect the amazing person, My Dad.
Hiten Shah and Nirav Shah
My father is my ultimate hero and someone whom I looked up to right from my childhood. He has been a trailblazer of sorts and broken all the stereotypes.
While his contemporaries fervently made a beeline to convent schools to get their kids admitted, he got us (my brother and me) enrolled into Oriya medium school, much to everybody's consternation. He made it up by making us capable of holding our own against our convent educated counterparts, through daily testing our English spellings and making us write paragraphs in English.
While others bemoaned at regular power cuts, he made full utilisation of it by conducting a spoken English class and playing word building with all the kids of our street which went a long way in ensuring our range of vocabulary.
While his peers zoom past in a swanky two wheeler which is a matter of pride for them, and consider cycling and walking beyond their dignity, he uses a ninety year old bicycle used by my grandfather which very obviously made us realise the paramount importance of not leading a sedentary life.
On weekends he used to take us for long walks and treat us to sweets in our favourite sweets stall. During those walks he used to narrate us tales of great sportsmen who emerged triumphant in the most unlikely of events. It served dual purpose -- one, we got introduced to one of the most invigorating experiences of life, called sports and also instilled a belief in us to tide over any adversity with composure.
It seems the other day when he used to escort me to inter school competitions which were invariably held on Sundays, patiently standing by my side without once complaining of missing out on a leisurely Sunday that he so richly deserved and I just cannot forget him getting up at 5.00 o clock in the morning to teach me maths patiently bearing my silly mistakes.
Last but not the least, he let me study C.A. which was and perhaps still is considered a male bastion.
Reams and reams of pages can be written about the profound influence he has on making me what I am without fully expressing my gratitude towards him.
He is the quintessential hero for me who I can count on at any point of my life.
Finally I would like to say -- my daddy strongest.
K. Seeta Rajani (Berhampur)
Dear Papa,
Ma says you were the happiest proud father to have us, two daughters. We remember the days when you prepared us for school. The dishes you cooked for us. The gleam in your eyes with every trophy, every grade we received. Every tantrum you gave in to and your hand to lead us through all the toughest of times of our lives, when we were struggling to adapt ourselves to every new turn and twist in our lives. We still remember the anxiety you have spent nights and days during our illness. You even treated Ma as your eldest kid. Every kind word and every encouragement and advice you gave us to strengthen us. We thank you Dada for all that you gave up for our happiness, for all that you have gone through to bring us up as able daughters and citizens We thank God for having blessed us with such kind and selfless father... We ask you to be with us always guiding us through the thick and thin of life....
Love you Papa... We miss you..
Aniva and Jeeniva
Dear Dad...
Raja Gopala Raju. He had the dignity and self respect as his name suggests. He was the sternest soul I have ever known.
But THAT apart he was the dearest person in every other respect. As kids us 3 brothers would scurry away and pretend being studious and responsible at the first sign of his voice or the sound of his car returning home from office. He was a family man glad to be at home in his bungalow and garden. He was always there for all of us with always a yes to any meaningful request. Considered to be one of
THE most honest officers(IAS)in the AP state govt, having served as both the state's Endowment and Transport commissioners, the mere mention of his name brought us instant respect from society.
This July it will be his second death Anniversary, I normally avoid thinking about him, as even now tears well up instantly in my eyes...I pray to God that he lets me have the same father in all my rebirths. May his soul rest in peace.
Som Shekar