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My mom's sacrifice: 'Hats off to you, Ma'
With Mother's Day coming up on May 9, we invited readers to share special stories of sacrifices their mothers have made for them. Here are two responses:
First up is Raghav Kashi's dedication to his mother:
People always talk of a godfather who is responsible for carving an individual's future. In my life, I have been blessed with my mother, who has done so much for me to become who I am today. I want to keep it short and simple for people to read what a mother can do for her child.
My mother got widowed when she was 25 years (1 1/2 years after marriage) with an 8-month-old boy (me). She was married to a rich and big family in a small town of Karnataka. Can't believe how she managed not to get married again and lead a happy life with her partner. She always believed that a second marriage would affect love and care for me. She had no support from her elders, financially or personally. She moved to Bangalore (a big city for those who live in small towns) with me (a 1-year-old baby) where she had noone for help or guidance. But she carried courage and bravery with her, which helped her survive and do what she intended to do.
At that time in her life, when she should have been happily married, she worked in the mornings and went to classes in the evening (sometimes till night), hoping she could get a better job with a degree. I remember sitting next to her in the classroom and using my crayons in a drawing book.
None of our relatives came up to offer any sort of assistance, fearing having to take care of us for the rest of their lives. What my mother earned from her day job made it almost impossible to survive in the city. I know I was deprived of many luxuries in terms of toys and clothes that every kid wants, but I had the freedom to pursue what I wanted to do, be it studies, games, hobbies etc.
It was a tough life, but as I grew up I always took her as an example of hard work and dedication. Today I am qualified, married with a kid, have a good job. As I watch my kid grow up, I realise how much my mother did to bring up her kid. Now I see how the same relatives are proud of me and my mother for what we are today.
HATS OFF TO THE LADY! I can never repay her love and support with anything I can possibly do.
Share unforgettable memories of your mom with us. Tell us a special story -- a memory that is very dear to your heart because of something unforgettable that she did for you, in the way that mothers often do. That one incident that reaffirmed your belief in your parent's ultimate sacrifice. And if you can, do send in a photograph of you and your mom to publish alongside.
Simply write in to getahead@rediff.co.in (subject line: 'My mother's sacrifice'), because we'll be publishing the best entries right here on rediff.com
'I'm still fighting only because of her'
Next is Goa-based Arun Torgal's touching story:
On March 24, 2007, at approximately 05:30 pm, my mother was walking along the side of the road, going to Lord Shiva's temple, when this speeding car came from behind, lost control and knocked her out. She died on the spot.
This was the most unforgettable, painful and traumatising day for me, and for the rest of my life the pain and grief will never subside. It is true that every living person in this world has to go one day, but going in such circumstances is extremely traumatic to the family members.
For me and my sister, our mother was everything in this world. More so for me as I lost my eyesight in my late 20's, due to Retinitis Pigmentosa. She was filled with pain all those years and to her distinction, never expressed it to me. But I could sense it in her -- being her son, I could read her mind. She always gave me courage and told me that God will take care of everything. I know how difficult it was for her to see her son losing his vision at such a young age and going blind in front of her.
I kept on fighting and am still fighting, all because of her, and I know she is out there in the skies, protecting me and encouraging me never to give up the fight. Her memories will remain with me till the last breath of my life.
'She gave up her job offers for my sake'
This is Ankur Pandya's tale:
I am sure that every child has some worthy story to tell about his/her mother and the sacrifices she has made for us. I similarly have my own story to tell.
My mother's name is Aruna and she is now 65 years old. She is a post-graduate and had prior experience as a professor with a couple of colleges; she belonged to a well-to-do family prior to her marriage with my father.
My father came from a middle class family and was employed as an officer with a PSU bank. As we all know, the salaries in a PSU bank (and that too for an honest man) were abysmally low, barely enough to make two ends meet. To top this fact, my father had taken a loan from the bank that he worked for in order to buy a home for his family in Mumbai. Although I am talking about the 1980s, his salary was hardly enough to make two ends meet and to say the least, we were financially struggling (somehow my brother and I were never once given an indication that such was our state).
When things started going from bad to worse my mother, post discussing the situation with my father, came to the conclusion that it was the right time for her to rejoin her profession of teaching. We children were growing up fast (I was 11 and my brother 9 years old) and could manage to take care of ourselves and she could, by the virtue of her education and experience, contribute financially to the household.
My brother and I (especially me, even today) were and are extremely attached and possessive of my mother -- at the time, I used to refuse to let her go alone even to the market, much less to a job.
As I got older, my parents drew me aside one day and had a rather frank chat with me regarding the impending job offers that were coming my mother's way. I, quite typically, was completely against the same and threw my usual round of tantrums, making it that much more difficult for my parents to explain the situation to me.
My mother, you must understand, was and has been an extremely loving and gentle mother, However, since we were growing up she did feel (even before the financial crisis hit our family) that she could put her time to better use and use her skills to impart education to many others.
She tried for a rather long period of time to make me see sense. Eventually, I after a lot of time and effort from her, reluctantly agreed , but had a list of demands which were to be fulfilled if she were to take up a job.
I distinctly remember that post the entire episode one night, there once again was a deep and a long discussion between my parents, and though I could hear only bits and parts of the conversation, it was centered around my attachment towards my mother and her job offers.
The next morning my mother called me for a brief chat. She told me that she had decided against joining work as a professor despite the offers available, as she and my father felt that by cutting back on some of their own expenses (they hardly ever spent anything on themselves) we could manage to make two ends meet. Without fully understanding the reasons for such an action, I was happy -- and to an extent relieved.
It was only years later, when I was old enough to understand the entire matter did my mother explain what had happened that night.
She had sensed the anxiety and resistance to the imminent change that was going to occur and for the sake of my emotional and psychological wellbeing, she had decided to refuse all the offers that had come her way.
Much as she would have liked to contribute to the finances of the house, along with the fact that her job was what she truly enjoyed doing (earlier in her life), she gave it all up in one shot to ensure that her children would not pine for her when she was away at work, that they would always know where to find her when they required her advise or love...at home.
I am sure that this little write-up cannot do true justice to my mother's sacrifice. However, I have tried to explain this small but truly important and significant event in my life.
'Despite being a single mom, she did the best for us'
Rajiv Kumar Jain had this to share with us:
Dear Mom -- she is the dearest of all.
We, today's generation including me, cannot make the sacrifices she made all through her life. She got married to my father, her brother-in-law (he earlier married her elder sister and had one girl child from her) upon her sister's sudden death, according to the advice of her family.
Hence, from the start of her marriage, she had to adjust herself in this new family. With my father working in an organisation that had its office in some remote town, she stayed without any support from her in-laws at a distance very far away from her own home (in a different state). She was alone and have to adjust to this situation.
After some time, she gave birth to my elder sister and then after more than a year, I was born. Our middle class family was happy and she adjusted well to my eldest sister (her niece). But suddenly everything reversed. My father got a heart-attack and he died at the age of 40 in 1993, leaving my mother at the age of 32 and three children studying in Class X, VI and V (me).
My maternal grandparents and my mamaji then asked her to return to their home. But she knew this decision would lead to her depending upon them for everything, including her children's future. Hence, she took the decision to remain independent and my eldest sister supported her. She should have gotten a job in my father's office, but, to some organisational rules and her lack of education (upto Class IX), she got a job in the same organisation only after three years, in 1996.
After that, she regularly prepared food for our tiffins and lunch in the morning, went to work and then after coming home, prepared our dinner. So her actual work started at 6 am and continued till 10:30 pm without any break.
After some time, the problem arose of having to choose which of us would pursue higher studies, as our financial condition was not good enough to support all three. But as I was the brightest child in the family, she sent me to Kota for IIT-JEE coaching classes and both my sisters for a normal graduation. The decision to send me to Kota was very difficult, even for higher salaried persons, but she sacrificed everything for my future.
In all that time, whatever money was left over from my father's PF and her own salary, she used to build our own home (which my father has started work on) in the city nearby. Hence, after my admission to engineering college in the same city, we shifted into our own home and that made us so proud. But she had to go up and down daily over 40 kilometres to her job.
After three years, when I was still in the college, my elder sister got married into a very good family due to the support from my maternal home and her in-laws are very good. After completing my college, I got a good job with a handsome salary and my eldest sister is also working in an organisation -- we are on the lookout for a boy for her.
Now, we are a happy family again and whenever I request Mother to quit from her job, she proudly says she like to be independent and jokingly asks who will take care of her when she is jobless.
She is still ,at the age of 50, very active, bold and independent.
'My mom was like a force field'
The following was sent in by Kurudi Shyamsunder:
I guess, you can never measure a mother's love -- maybe it is more than the imagination of the Creator of this universe (even the supreme protector and the one who does not have a start, an end and is limitless, Vishnu, has been bound by a mother's love).
My mom -- I can write and talk continuously anout her for days together. She is the reason for whatever I am in life today. There are so many incidents of sacrifice from time to time in life till I completed my education. My mother and of course my dad too, have really never let me or my sister feel hardships of any kind.
I remember as if it happened today -- I was in Class VII when I had to be operated and was bed-ridden for almost six months. Everything I did had to be done on the bed. She sacrificed even the minimal comforts to care for me day and night.
The second incident was when I couldn't get into MBBS -- everyone had me written off and relatives were cold-shouldering me (as my cousins got in). My mom was like a force field, taking all the hits directed at me. She had faith in me that I would be more successfull than all of them and I am thankful that she was proved right.
I think I would die an infinite number of times to be born to her again and again.
Any number of superlatives are very minute and insignificant when it comes to describing my mom and her love and affection. I can only say that Mom, you are a superlative's superlative.
Thank you AMMA for this life and for whatever I am today.
'My father was a drunk and he beat her'
And here is Hemangi Nagesh's contribution:
This one-page article is not enough to say what my mother has sacrificed for us.
I am the eldest of three children. My mother's sacrifices starts from the day she was born. She was the tenth and youngest child with only one sister and eight brothers. Her sister (my masi) was married when my mother was just 8 years old. The sacrifices began when my grandmother (nani) died when she was in Class VIII. She had to cook for all eight brothers and Grandpa, wash clothes and clean the house.
In spite of that, she completed her BA in the first division. My mother thought maybe her grievances would be over after marriage, but God didn't want that -- He had not written anything good for her. Her husband (my so-called father) is 10 years older than her. A man who didn't care for his wife and children. He just loved to drink and drink and drink, all day and night and beat his wife. But hats off to the lady, she left her husband so that her children could make it to the top of the world.
She searched for a job and the only good thing that happened to her was that she got one, although not very easily. We lived with my masi in her house, while my father sold everything mother had brought from her home. I was an only child when my mother left my father's house. He used to visit us and the same happened there also -- drinking, beating...
Then came the news that Mom was going to be a mother again. She was pregnant, but she couldn't leave her job, so she continued. Her training centre was about 30 kilometres from Masi's house -- she used to take the city bus, which was very crowded and then walk for 2 1/2 kilometres more.
Her sacrifices were not over after my brother was born -- life became hell. Now she had to take care of two childern and one husband whose work was to steal her money and enjoy his life. I don't remember her buying anything for herself. Although I was very small, I could see the tears she tried to hide from us.
Then she got pregnant again. This time she thought of an abortion, but that is not what God wants. In the meanwhile, my brother fell into a small pond near my masi's home -- his condition was very critical and my father, God knows where the hell he was. Again, during her third pregnancy, her condition was the same -- no rest. She thought that God didn't want her to have the abortion and that if she did what He wanted, maybe it would save her son. And she was right.
Now there were three children and a husband who used to visit often. She thought that maybe one day she would be able to change my father, but there was no support from his family.
When she left his house for my sake, she had just noe bag of clothes with her. But now she has bought her own 2BHK flat with all the possible facilities that she can afford and more. She has given us the best education -- I have done my MCA and am working with a software firm , my brother is an MTech and my sister is an MBA, all from very reputed institutes of India.
My brother and I had to leave home for our education. And now I am married -- she searched out the best husband for me, so that I would not face what happened to her. She is the BESTEST SUPER MOM. Love u, Ma.