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My mom's sacrifice: 'To both my mothers'
With Mother's Day coming up on May 9, we invited readers to share special stories of sacrifices their mothers have made for them. Here are two responses:
First up is Gopesh Bhardwaj's dedication, which is dedicated to both his mother and her sister, who helped raise him:
Maa, aap ko salaam.
Maa -- these three letters make me come alive. They gave me strength, courage and the warmth of love and affection.
I think I am among very few persons in this world to be blessed with two mothers. One who gave birth to me and the other who gave direction to my life. Whatever I am today is because of the efforts of these two great ladies. I don't have words to describe all the struggles which they underwent for my upbringing. Hats off to them.
My first mother's (Brijesh Sharma) struggle started the day when my father was diagnosed with kidney failure. When he left us, I was 1 1/2 years old and my mother was only 24. After my father's demise, nobody supported us from my father's side and we were left alone in this mighty world to survive.
But my mother's family came forward and supported us wholeheartedly. They provided us shelter and unconditional support to survive.. My mother had only studied till Class X and with the efforts of my nanaji, she got a job with the State Transport, where my father used to work.
For the betterment of my future, she deliberately sends me to her sister (my second mother). I know it's really very difficult to keep your only child away from you (I was away from my mother for 20 years). Those were tough times for her, but she kept faith in God and in her dreams and stayed alone for 20 years just for the betterment of my life (she sacrificed her golden years just for me -- only a mother can do that).
About my second mom (Kanta Sharma) -- what can I say about her? She is the one who has made me who I am today. Without any distinction, she shared her love and affection with me along with her two kids. She never makes me feel like I am far away from my mother. No one in this world can do what she does to me.
This column is too short to share each and every struggle and sacrifice they underwent for me, but in the end I can only say Maa, aap ko salaam. I love you, Maa. In each and every lifetime, I want you both to be my mothers.
Share unforgettable memories of your mom with us. Tell us a special story -- a memory that is very dear to your heart because of something unforgettable that she did for you, in the way that mothers often do. That one incident that reaffirmed your belief in your parent's ultimate sacrifice. And if you can, do send in a photograph of you and your mom to publish alongside.
Simply write in to getahead@rediff.co.in (subject line: 'My mother's sacrifice'), because we'll be publishing the best entries right here on rediff.com
'She never said 'yes' to what she did not believe in'
Next we have Pradeep Thirumalai's story:
In September 1976, a couple was on their way to the doctor upon the insistence of the husband to abort the baby. She was 38 and this was their sixth child -- he and the elders of the family felt this child was not needed. But the wife was keen not to, as she already felt like the faceless embryo inside her was worth something. She stood her ground firmly to carry the child, only to desert him 34 years later.
The above lines are about my mom, when she was carrying me. My mother passed away on April 15, 2010, leaving my life without a purpose but full of the values she had imparted.
Born in an affluent family at Srirangam, she lost her dad when she was only 1 1/2 years old and her mom when she was 12. The richness and all the pampering faded quickly and she had to live the life of a maid at 12. But she always took things in her stride and was ready to face the challenges thrown at her. At 19, she got married and her new life with a fresh set of challenges started. She has never said 'yes' to what she did not believe in and that created more challenges with her mother in-law. Soon, my dad was forced to stay away from her. After 6 months, due to the persistence of my uncle (Mom's eldest brother), things were patched up. Even then she stood firm, not compromising on her values, no matter what the consequences were.
My dad's family was financially reliant on him, since he was the eldest son. After the wedding, my dad suggested he lessen contributions to his parents and brothers and save for his own family's future. My mom said a firm no, as she believed it was her duty to support his parents. The first thing she would do every month is give part of my dad's pay to his parents. She pledged all her jewels and ornaments to conduct my aunt's (Dad's sister's) wedding. Her values were obviously later understood by my grandmother (Dad's mom) and she celebrated the daughter-in-law she once shunned. My mom was always proud of being duty-conscious and insisted we not shy away from responsibility. She taught us that money means nothing and standing up for your values means everything.
My mom was an unconventional woman in all aspects. She was outspoken and upfront, never pampered her kids and always taught us to be afraid only of our own inner conscience and nothing else. She was an epitome of honesty and will power. My Mom and dad have together sailed through numerous financial difficulties to bring up their six children by sacrificing their lives, but without making us feel under-privileged for even a moment.
My mother's health deteriorated only after my birth. My mom sacrificed her health for my birth. She may not be physically around, but her memories and values are always with me.
'At times she used to take up two jobs'
Here is what Asmita Parab from Mumbai has to say about her mom:
Ma, Aai, Amma, Mom -- so many different names for the single person in whom God resides.
My mother was born into a lower middle class family with four brothers and a sister. Her father was the only earning member. My mother was the eldest; she started working at the age of 16, doing all kinds of jobs. Till now she has changed almost 16 to 17 jobs.
While working in an office she met my father. Both of them were from different cultures, and my nana-nani was against this marriage. In spite of their opposition, they got married. A few years down the line, me and my brother was born.
At the age of 40, both my parents lost their jobs and we were left with nothing. At the age when people enjoy their money and buy a house, my parents were hunting for jobs.
I still remember just to earn Rs 300, my mother started working in a shop labelling items. At times she used to take up two jobs -- one in the morning and one in the evening and also looked after our house alongside. She has been a great support for my entire family.
When I got married two years back, I got a new mother -- that's my Mother in Law. She has also struggled a lot in life and achieved what we are all proud of. She is very supportive, very energetic, very caring.
Both my mothers have done a lot for their families without even thinking about themselves. Having both by my side is a great feeling.
They both rock... and they are the best.
'The whole world was questioning my capability, but she didn't'
Nishant from Mumbai sent in his account:
Very often we hear the statement that God gives us what we need and not what we want. Even mothers are such souls -- I think I'm so fortunate.
I know my mother went through a lot of pain during pregnancy and I remember the after-effects she suffered. I just wanted to narrate some instances from when the world was against me and how she provided the comfort, warmth and confidence to win the situation.
In my school days, when I had an epilepsy attack (I used to have convulsions), my mother had just returned from a 2-hour train journey to the city and came straight to me. People who have stayed in Mumbai will know what the local train travel is like. She was beside me taking care of me and feeding me when I needed her the most .
The next phase was when I had very bad grades in college. I had to be sent to a private tuition teacher to improve my skills and get ahead of the others. Even then, at that moment when we were struggling to find funds (we were a middle class family ), she pulled out 20K for my tuition fees from her savings .But even this couldn't bring me better grades in college exams, as I was not that good in studies .
I applied for a higher education but couldn't go all the way through because of college politics and ethics, plus my low ability to grasp technical knowledge. I had to quit college and come back home .It was the most shattering moment for any parent and for me -- I couldn't face the crowd, including my friends.
My area of interest was management ,but then I had to wait for some time to get into the business groove -- plus, I needed funds to get into management college.
That's when Supermom came in action, picking out 80K from her kitty to help me take management classes when the whole world was questioning my capability. Amazing is the only word that comes to mind, irrespective of the fact that I repayed the fees (the least I could do) once I started earning my salary.
Just as a tribute to my mom, I came out with flying colours and get into the best companies. Now that I have a settled family and a monthly income more than the management course fee, I dedicate my good times to her.
I ponder a thought quite often -- can we choose our parents, especially our mothers? Because they are the coolest!
'I'm still fully dependent on Mom'
And here is Bharti Nathani's short and sweet contribution:
No matter how big you become agewise, by way of wealth or by way of knowledge -- when it comes to your mother, you are still childish, careless, innocent. That's how it is with me -- I'm careless, forgetting and messing up all things. I'm now 38, but still fully dependent on Mom. No matter that all things are sorted out properly and systematically at the office; when I get home, I can't manage my clothes, food, bed, nothing .
In the last three years, I was severely depressed, tensed and became a diabetic. It was my mom who stood by me, cared for and loved me, Most importantly, she took me to the doctor, when it was so difficult for me to face proper treatment at the right time -- but it was very important.
That's why it's probably said that God can't be there for everyone at the same time, so he sends us a mother. And for me, my mom is my God...Love you, Mama.