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My mom's sacrifice: 'She's my guardian angel'

Last updated on: May 10, 2010 20:03 IST

Image: Shalina Femy and her mother
Photographs: Shalina Femy

Although yesterday was Mother's Day, we received a few more reader stories of sacrifices their mothers have made for them. Here is the last set of responses:

First up is Shalina Femy's dedication to her mom:

I wrote this because I want to let you know how I feel about the woman who gave birth to me. I am a simple girl with a young brother. I would have been an orphan by now with no one to hold on to. When my mom was on her death bed a few years ago, every day was a struggle and each day was a pain. I still remember the days that I used to whisper in my sleep for God to give my mom back. Fortunately he did -- now I am 27 and each day and every moment she has been in this world is a God's gift to me; she has been my loving mother and sometimes my best friend. She was a true friend when I needed one badly. She fed me, taught me and nurtured me during the toughest part of our lives.

If my mom would have passed when I was 10... the thought still scares me. I wouldn't have just lost a mom. I would have lost the greatest treasure. No one could have ever compensated for that.

Especially when I was young, I was the fat girl and everybody knows the teasing those fat girls have to endure when they go to school. It's not only the mocking words of the guys -- even the gals bully you, so that some days you wish you weren't even born. Those were the times I remember running to my mother as soon as the school rang the final bell. That's when I see her not only as my comforting mother, but as a woman who gave me the confidence to trust in myself and also to grow up to be a successful professional -- I owe it all to her.

Life can sometimes put you in places where you find no familiar faces around, like the whole world has turned its back on you. But there she will always be like a gleam of sunshine. My mommy, my guardian angel.

'It pains me to realise what all she had to do bring me up'

Image: Shashi Gupta and his mother
Photographs: Shashi Gupta

Next is Shashi Gupta's contribution:

My mom and me share a relationship where she wants me to have the best in the world, irrespective of what is left for her. She has pampered me to the extent of standing beside me in all sorts of ventures I've undertaken, whether in the field of education, lifestyle or food habits. The most encouraging words, when I chose to deviate from normal jobs to becoming an entrepreneur, came from her.

When I was a baby, I, for reasons not understood even today, I had started refusing milk. Everyone had become worried that I may not survive. However, I did accept the medicine dropper and swallowed medication.

My mom then started to feed me with the help of the tiny plastic dropper. Somehow I accepted the milk through the dropper. It would take her ages to finish my quota of milk but she would never ever give up. She had to forego so much in life that it pains me to realise what all she had to do bring me up.

Mom you are great.

Have a very happy Mother's Day.

'She owned only two saris'


Photographs: Uttam Ghosh

This is what Shivam had to say about his mother:

It is impossible for me to put my feelings about her into words, but this article is one sincere effort to thank her for whatever she has done for me and my family. This article isn't about my mother, it's about a woman who defined the word 'mother' to me. This article is about my Badi Ma, the women I've spent the greater part of my life with.

I used to live in a very small place known as Chapra in Bihar. When I was in Class I, my parents decided to send me to Patna, so that I could receive a better education and have a better future. It was decided that I'd stay with Badi Ma at Patna and complete my education there.

After her marriage, Badi Ma had moved to Muzaffarpur with my Bade Papa where he worked as a medical representative. He was quite well off, but due to some problems with the company he had to resign. Bade Pa then took a new job with a new company and shifted to Patna. They lived in a small rented house with bare necessities but Bade Pa couldn't find a comfortable job and had to change from one to another.

In the meantime, Badi Ma joined a school as a teacher to support her family financially. Badi Ma had three sons, my cousins, who studied at the same school where she taught. Bade Pa's job didn't go too well and finally he had to leave. With some of the money they had collected and some help from the family, they bought a piece of land and built a house in a very interior location of Patna.

Now the only source of income was Badi Ma's salary as a school teacher. This was when I shifted to Patna and started staying with her. We all stayed in a house with one room, a kitchen and a bathroom. The only thing we had for entertainment was a 14 inch black and white TV with no cable connection, since we couldn't afford one.

With the rising cost of education, it was getting difficult for her to support the education of my cousins. Meanwhile my eldest cousin reached Standard X and stood third in the whole school in the ICSE Board Examinations. He joined the best school in Patna. His aim was to crack the Joint Entrance Examination and get into one of the IITs, but due to lack of money, he couldn't join any good coaching institue. Badi Ma did the best she could and managed to get him enrolled with a correspondence course for IIT JEE coaching. We couldn't afford anything else. She managed with just a pair of saris she had, wearing the same on alternate days. She gave tuitions in the evening. Not a penny was spent on something that was unnecessary.

After two years of struggle, the two years of my eldest cousin's higher secondary passed. He sat for the JEE and cracked it in the first attempt. He later joined IIT Kharagpur. But the financial condition of the family was still the same. Since she was employed at a private school, there was a lot of pressure on Badi Ma, since people were sacked for every other reason. But she never gave up. In the meantime my second cousin stood second in his Class X board examinations and later cracked the JEE and joined IIT Kharagpur. T

The financial condition of our family started stabilising when my eldest cousin got a job after his BTech. This year my third cousin also cracked the CBSE medical entrance exam and joined one of the best dental colleges in India. Then it was my turn. Keeping in mind all the sacrifices she had made for my family and me, I gave it my best shot and topped the school in my Class X. Although I couldn't crack the JEE later, I joined one of the most prestigious engineering institutions in India, BITS-Pilani and am currently in the first year. My eldest cousin is at Gurgaon working as a manager with Citibank, after he did his MBA from IIM-K and is now married with a beautiful wife; the second one is doing his PhD from Ohio State University and the third one is in his final year of BDS. Badi Ma still works at the same school as one of the seniormost teachers of Mathematics, but now she considers it a hobby rather than a necessity.

I wish to thank her on behalf of my cousins Aishwarya, Anupam, Priyadarshi and myself, Shivam, for whatever she has done for us, although we'll never be able to thank her enough. We are what we are because of what she made us.

'She didn't want us brought up by a nanny'

Image: For representational purposes only
Photographs: Rediff Archives

Here is what Goldy Sharma has to say about her mother, Dr Vijay Laxmi Sharma:

"You can see it in their eyes,
In tender hugs and long good-byes,
A love that only moms and daughters know."

My mother and us three sisters share a bond which I know all girls reading this can relate to. I love my mum yesterday, today and with each passing day the love grows. She has always been there for us, all three daughters whom she takes so much pride in and holds close to her heart.She has been with us for our first walk, for our first school interview, to give us courage and support us. She has been up all night for our exams, no matter if it was Math or History. She has translated all Star Trek movies for us when we could barely make out the accent! She has been 'Vikram' at times and other times enacted the 'Betaal' with us.

She has been the doctor and the nurse. She has been God's messenger to us. She has always said: 'You are loved my daughter, without any conditions!'

Every morning as I get ready to leave for work, she relishes looking at me so professionally well-dressed, roaring to take the world on. Going to work, waving goodbye to her, I can see it in her smile, in the passing years and her wrinkling skin. She never speaks, but I somehow see it in her eyes, the one moment when she made a life-changing decision. She sees herself in me every time she sees me walking out of that door and getting all charged up to enter the corporate world .The one moment when she was given the option to choose between her career as a state administrative officer (after competing with thousands of people andbeing successful), which involved a lot of travelling and her growing kids. Her decision has changed our lives and hers too.

It was the time when getting any kind of government job was a tough nut to crack -- but with my grandpa's help and encouragement, she did crack one of the most sought-after jobs. She spent sleepless nights studying after she had read us stories in bed. The devoted and tired mother who had to make her and her Dad's dream come true slept a meagre three hours each night to make sure she cracked the exam. And come morning she was the delightful mommy, with all the energy and enthusiasm we kids expected her to have.

She would get us ready and pack us nice lunches and walk us to school, make sure our rooms were nice and tidy and the house was prim and proper. She did all! But she is proud today to have taken the decision to stay away from her administrative job of high esteem and honour, and stay back at home with us to see us learn and grow with her instead of a nanny, which many of her contemporaries did. I know of no other woman , nor man who could have taken a step as strong as that at the cost of her career to see her kids make a career one day. If I ask myself honestly, I could have never done that.She had nurtured the dream to be an officer since she was a kid herself and today she is content to see us reach our career pinnacle.

She gave us all that a fairytale childhood could be, with her as our fairy mother. I wish there was a way I could repay her for all the things she has done for me, but there's nothing great enough to repay the greatest mother of all. I can't give her costly gifts , and no matter what I give she has much more to give back.

Thank you Mother Dear. Today I celebrate YOU!

'The veins on my mother's arms remind me of those days of hardship'


Photographs: Uttam Ghosh

Abhijeet Ganguly had this message to share:

It's a fantastic idea asking readers to share their amazing mother stories, since in a country like ours there are many stories of hardship. Thinking about the kind of sacrifices my mother has made, I wonder if we, today's generation, have the courage to pull it off if faced with similar situations.

I remember all too well growing up in financial hardship, along with my elder brother. Both my parents are well-educated, Mom being a class topper in BA, while Dad holds a distinction in BSc.The financial problems started when the industry he was working with closed down in 1984 and his peerless insurance agency wasn't doing too well either. I remember seeing my dad crying one day because he didn't have enough money to get his bicycle repaired. I remember the morning my mom tried to console him by offering her gold bangles for sale, which he wouldn't take.

She refused to take up jobs that came her way because of me. One evening when I came back from school I saw two gentlemen trying to convince my mom to join their school, as they were looking for a teacher who could teach Hindi, Bengali and English and my mom fit the bill perfectly. She refused because she would be tired after the job and would not have enough energy left to teach me in the evenings as she used to do -- my studies would suffer. Our financial condition wasn't good that we could hire private tutors.

We didn't have tap water; instead we had handpumps and she used to pump water out under the sun and then wash clothes as we coudn't afford maids. My dad suffered a mild heart attack because of years of hand-pumping and carrying heavy buckets.

Today when I see the veins on my mother's arms, it reminds me of those days of hardship. I wouldn't have been where I am today if she had not made it her priority to ensure we got a proper education.

Truely, mothers are God's most amazing gift.

'A poem to my mother'

Image: For representational purposes only
Photographs: Arun Patil

Siddarth Dudheria chose to pen a poem for his mother:

I miss my mother's lap where I lay my head
The carefree air and the toy filled bed.

I miss the playful mornings when I troubled her to go to school
Running around the house with me, she never left me alone.

I miss the afternoon lunch, she brought me hot food
Fed me with her hands, as she would always do.

I miss those rainy days where I was all wet, dripping with water
A cup of hot milk and she carried me on her shoulders like the porter.

I miss the after school lessons, she taught Math, Science and History
She herself was uneducated, how she taught me was a mystery.

I miss those nights when the cold wind brushed me
My mother's embrace gave all the warmth I could ever need.

I miss her always when I see the stars shining in the sky,
I miss her always when I see the birds fly.

My mother is so special that her love is enough to survive,
I yearn for another day when I can lay my head on her lap and dream.

I miss my mother's lap where I lay my head
I miss her more than what I just said.

'She never let us see the pain inside her'


Photographs: Uttam Ghosh

Here is what Amit Prateek has to say:

I want to thank my mother for everything my sisters and I have in this world. I am the eldest of my siblings. I was a slightly pampered child, but my mother always keep me grounded by making me learn the values of life and our culture.

My mother, Sharda Pareek, is a pillar of strength to all of us. She always taught us to be responsible, humble, have self respect, care for people and most of all be good human beings. When she married my father, she started to share all his responsibilities. She took care of my uncles like her own children, as my grandmother was ill. She even stopped painting, her first love, so that she could give us time.

She has seen so many problems in life but I have never seen her give up. We have seen such hard times, but she always kept alive the hope that one day everything would be alright. I have never seen her ask my father to fulfill her demands; she always thought about us first. She wanted us to have the best of everything.

A couple of years back, somebody stole money from my father and false allegations were made against him for stealing, He was so sad, as he has never been dishonest. My mother supported him every inch of the way and stood by him every second. She never let us feel the pain she had inside her, she only made us believe in our abilities.

When I started my job, I made a promise to myself that I will gift her a house of her own one day, and by the blessings of God, I did it last year. She is my best friend and she knows every problem of mine and every joy. When I see her smile, I feel happier than ever. My sisters and I want her to be our mom in every birth.

Maa, you are the best and always will be, thanks for being there for us.

'I'm studying abroad and miss her a lot'

Image: Prateek Aggarwal with his parents
Photographs: Prateek Aggarwal

Prateek Aggarwal decided to share his thoughts too:

I just wanted to share my feelings and how my mom (Sapna Aggarwal) deserves to be 'BEST MOM in the World'.

My mom is the best mom in the world. We don't realise what she has has done for us till now...until we grow up and understand her importance in life.

She's one of my best friends, whom I never found during my entire school and college life.

She never said no to anything, even when my father used to say no.

She always has the fear of me going down the wrong path, even after she has guided me in the right direction.

She feels pain in her when we are in trouble.

She keeps an account of every drop of her blood flowing in our bodies.

I am blessed to be a son to her and with no doubt, she is my God.

I not only miss my MOM on Mother's Day but all 365 days of the year. It's just that Mother's Day gives us a reason to express our inner feelings for her.

Please publish these few priceless sacrifices she has made for me. I am studying abroad, so I miss her a lot and with no doubt, she is the "BEST MOM not only in the world but the whole UNIVERSE".

'What we are today is because of only you, Amma'


Photographs: Uttam Ghosh

C Suresh's tale is as follows:

Being the third daughter of a freedom fighter who sacrificed everything for country's freedom, my mother was educated only upto Class V. My grandfather stopped her education because the village where she lived only had primary school. For high school she had to go to the nearby town, which was 5 kms away and in 1940, sending girl children away to town was unthinkable for an orthodox Tamil Brahmin family..

After her two elders sisters got married, my mom helped her parents, nephews and sisters .She went to the nearby district headquarters with her aunt( mother's sister) and stayed with her to treat her for cancer as she didn't have any daughters.

My grandfather sold most of his properties for the freedom struggle and the rest for his two elder daughters' marriages; he had only a little land for his day-to-day survival and no other income.

When India got her freedom, Sri Kamarajar, who was chief minister then, offered 5 acres of land to my grandfather who refused the same politely, as he didn't want any favour for his sacrifices. He even refused the freedom fighter's pension.

My mother was around 27 in those days (1950-60) and having an unmarried daughter of this age was a big problem. But she didn't want her father to sell his left over land for her marriage and so married a person who was elder to her by 13 years in a simple wedding. She then moved from a village to a town.

She faced a hostile atmosphere in her husband's house initially.Then she slowly gained her mother-in-law's confidence. Then we children were born (me the eldest son in 1964, then a daughter in 1966 and a second daughter in 1969). My father had a flourishing medical business in the town.But his working partners cheated him and we lost everything, sold our mansion-like home in 1973 and started the medical business on a small scale in our rented home itself.

Because my grandmother was very orthodox, my mother had to wear a nine-yard sari (madisar) when she was hardly 40. Now my mother's dynamism and confidence came into play. She understood all business deals, used to read English prescriptions and did business from home and my father used to go from one clinic to another and sell medication there.

For the next 15 years, in addiiton to running the family, my mother ran the business also. She made it a point to give the best education to all of us. She had only two to three saris but made it a point to get new dresses for all of us on three occasions every year -- for Deepavali, for Pongal and on our birthdays.

She used to discuss with our relatives the type of higher education we should have and saw to it that my immediate sister and I became engineers, while the younger one became a teacher.

Today my father is 89 and even now Mother takes care of him; she also takes care of my youngest sister, as she has a severe back problem and decided to remain single .My parents and youngest sister still live in our native town, while me and my other sister are married and live abroad with our families. My parents are going to celebrate the 50th year of their sucessful marriage next year.

Mother, because of your sacrifices and perseverance, we are sucessful human beings now. What we are today is because of only you, Amma. We pray to the Almighty to give you strength, peace and a long life.

Your children.

'She alone supported my education'

Image: For representational purposes only
Photographs: Jason Reed/Reuters

Here is Chandagani Nagasekhar's dedication:

I was born and brought up in a very remote village in Anantapur District, Andhra Pradesh and I feel this is an opportunity to talk about my mother, who has taken care of me in every possible way since my childhood.

When I was studying in high school, my father said to discontinue my education, as he could not afford it, but my mother supported me. She used to sell vegetables around nearby villages by walking 10 to15 kms a day and I used to accompany her. She used to send me pocket money after selling these vegetables while I was in a hostel during my high school education. Also, she used to send me money orders without informing my father when I was studying in college, keeping in mind my education even though she is illiterate (my father is too). Because of only her, I completed my university education and got good job in an MNC.

Whenever she came to the hostel, she used to bring food stuffs like sweets and chilly powder with ground nuts, thinking that the hostel food was not that good. Sometimes I used to refuse to take it without knowing her love and affection .

I am living in a metro after marriage and whenever she comes to my house, she still continues the same tradition of bringing all the food prepared by her. Whenever I go to my native village (a remote village with no bus connectivity till date) my mother is very happy to see me and she expresses her continuing love and affection with hugs and kisses. I am really grateful to God for giving me such a wonderful mother.

After my marriage and children, I've always been asking my mother to stay with me at my home so that I can take care of her, but she refuses saying she is interested in staying in the village with my father and she still wants to work with him in the fields.

It's every child's responsibility to show their gratitude and the same love to their mother, as she only takes care us while she's alive. I hope everyone agrees -- please do not forget to take care of your mother in terms of health, as she has taken utmost care of us as children.

'Everyday I ask why she had to leave us'


Photographs: Uttam Ghosh
Nagraj Acharya pens his thoughts:

My mother lived for only 38 years; she was mother to five children, including me. When she died, I was just 20 years old -- an immature college student and second son. Poverty was a major problem for us; my dad was unemployed because he had some three acres of agricultural land in 1975 and he lost part of it due to the declaration system.

Thereafter began huge problems when we were in the growing stages. I do not remember how she managed all these things. Once she told me that she would like to work somewhere. I was working part time to meet the day-to-day expenses. Many times when I was not well she took me to hospital and one day 23 years ago, she died in the same hospital.

Our house had a very small tiled roof and during the rainy season water used to fall onto us and we did not sleep well. So my dad borrowed Rs 2,000 as a loan from a bank. Unfortunately, he could not repay it and the bank sent several notices before finally going to court .Our neighbour, a bank employee informed my mother about the status of the unpaid loan. My mother went to the bank and requested the manager that she would repay the loan by installments. She started to produce wicks, which are used in temples to light with sesame oil. Including interest, she repaid Rs 4,000 to the bank. Now her son and daughter-in-law are abroad. And her in-laws are the ex bank director's relatives.

I built a house in front of hers that I named after her -- each morning and evening I look at her photo and ask, "Amma, why did you leave us?" Many times I think that if I got the chance to meet God, I would beg for my mother back. Recently, three years ago, God gave me a daughter and she resembles my mother. During my daughter's birth, we suffered a lot but somehow my wife managed with the help of her mom.

The reasons for my mother's death are not clear, but her husband had no job, she was facing poverty and her children didn't listen to her speak -- I never came home in time. Therefore she probably thought that there was no point in continuing with life in this condition. One bad night she wrote us a letter saying, 'Dear children, your dad is a good human being, take care of him -- I cannot afford difficulties anymore. Goodbye to all -- every husband is supposed to have a proper job, otherwise I am the best example of suffering from insults.'

She consumed unlimited medicines at one time. The next day, the neighbours took her the hospital and when I went to visit her later, she didn't speak for three days. By evening one doctor came out from the ICU and simply said, "Sorry, we couldn't save her."

Her 23rd death anniversary is coming very soon.

'She always fought for her children'

Image: For representational purposes only
Photographs: Brian Snyder/Reuters

And finally, we have Aditya Pratap Bhuyan's story:

At the young age of 30, I am a system architect working in one of the largest telecom companies in the world. Today, wherever I am is due to my mother only.

My whole life is indebted to her. She not only gave birth to me, but also ensured that I was brought up with Indian culture, values, ethics and morality. I have always found mother to be the bravest person in the world. She always faced up to difficulties and came out a winner.

My mother was the daughter of a civil engineer and the second of 11 children. My grandfather had brought his children up with high moral values, which again passed on to the third generation. My mother had to get married at a young age as per the social standards of those times, leaving her bright academic career behind. Since her college days she was an active writer and NCC cadet. After her marriage she continued her studies and writing. She won a play-writing competition by All India Radio. By the time she had finished her studies, she was the mother of three children. She was equally committed to her role as a mother, as a housewife and a student.

She took up the job of a principal of a secondary school and never looked back. She earned success as a teacher, writer, mother and a teacher's leader also. During the long stint of her career, neither my siblings nor me ever felt that Mom is neglecting us. She always fought for her children, showing tremendous leadership qualities. She ensured that her children got enough of everything in life. For that, she never hesitated to sacrifice her comforts and pleasure.

Whenever a child needs help, without even speaking a word s/he always finds Mom there. As for myself, I have come across many situations in life when I thought only God could help me and I found my mother helping me.