Kajol: Try to achieve perfection and you will definitely fail
The heavily pregnant actress, whose latest movie We Are Family hit theatres last week, speaks about parenting and spiritualism.
She's more than just a yummy mummy. And when Kajol delivers one of her power-packed performances, the world watches -- because she doesn't have to resort to any gimmick other than her craft.
In her latest, We Are Family, an adaptation of the Hollywood flick Stepmom, she plays a mother of three and come October, real life will take after reel life as Kajol becomes a mother for the second time.
In an interview with rediff.com's Patcy N, the Bollywood superstar talks about being a working parent, raising a child and her relationship with her equally famous husband Ajay Devgan. Excerpts:
You take care of your daughter, your husband, your family life and your career -- what is the mantra behind balancing it all?
The mantra is that there is nothing called perfection. If you try to achieve perfection you will definitely fail, no two ways about it. But if you aim to be whatever you can be everyday and that changes from day to day, I think then you can succeed.
Some days I am a better mother, some days I am a better wife, some days I am a better daughter-in-law, some days I am a better daughter and somedays I am a better me -- when I don't want to talk to anybody and I just want to sit in my room and read a book.
'You have to enjoy the fact that you are pregnant'
How are you managing your pregnancy? How do you keep yourself happy and healthy?
Most importantly, keep yourself calm. You have to just stop taking stress, stop worrying about things that you cannot make a difference to, or you cannot change. Start concentrating completely on yourself. Make it a point to spend time with yourself and when you get sleepy, lie down and take a nap -- I am following all of this.
You have to enjoy the fact that you are pregnant. Everybody wants to pamper you, they want to take care of you. So there is nothing to be negative about.
I have stopped undergoing any kind of tension. I am not even tense about the release of my film, because if I am I will end up becoming stressed and in bed. So it is better that I do the things that I can do.
Image: Still from We Are Family
'I am proud of the fact that I got married to a wonderful man'
Usually, actresses tend to keep it private when they get married or become pregnant, but you are very forthcoming about it. Why's that?
I don't think that I have done something great -- if I had my way, I would also sit at home and not do interviews. I'd just eat and sleep.
But I don't think that there is anything to hide, basically. It is something that I am very proud of, but again, it depends from person to person and belief to belief. I wouldn't want to judge anybody else. I am proud of the fact that I got married to a wonderful man and I am not ashamed of it. Likewise, I am not ashamed of the fact that I am pregnant. I don't want to hide it in any way.
At times, I do feel that I would not like to look pregnant on screen, because I think that will not go well with the character that I am playing.
Image: With husband Ajay Devgan
'My daughter is the best present I have ever received'
Have you become more spiritually inclined since you became a mother?
Even before Nysa was born, I have always thanked God -- I believe that God is kind to us and good to us. Whatever happens, He has chosen for us -- whether it is good or bad, it happens for a reason. I wake up every morning and say, 'Thank you God, for whatever I have today and most importantly, thank you for who I have in my life -- my parents, husband, in-laws, my child, my sister, my cousins.
I have a wonderful family that loves me. I don't know whether they like me sometimes, but they definitely love me. On top of that He has given me thousands of people all around the world who love me -- my fans. I am grateful to Him.
I am eternally grateful to Him for my daughter, I think she is the best present I have ever received. She's wonderful, she's fantastic. I don't have enough words to describe her. I am eternally grateful for this (next) baby as well.
'I rely on my mother a lot'
How much do you rely on your own mother, now that you are pregnant?
I rely on my mother a lot. I think when you have a kid, you suddenly realise how much your mother scolded you and why. And suddenly you do the same and speak like your own mom -- you are channelling your mom. You feel like your mother is standing on top of you, saying, "Say this!"
Sometime I look at Nysa and scold her, saying 'Don't do this,' or 'Why are you doing that?' And I suddenly feel like my mother said the same thing to me and I was also staring at her like Nysa is staring at me right now. And then Nysa replies, 'Because I want to do it!' I don't know how to argue with somebody who says 'because I want to' -- there is no argument left after that!
'I loved my father very much, I still do today'
Nowadays you see a lot of thinking parents and there are parenting workshops to help you communicate effectively with your children. What is your take on it?
I feel as a parent that you are working everyday. I think it is an ongoing workshop to deal with your child everyday. As far as parenting workshops are concerned, as a parent you should do whatever makes you more comfortable, more secure or gives you more knowledge. I personally don't think a workshop will help me. But there are lots of women who feel insecure, who may not know the right way to do certain thing. Maybe they need to get an authority to tell them that this is the correct way.
Were you Papa's pet or Mama's?
Actually both. But I loved my father very much, I still do today. My daddy could never do anything wrong. It's the 'My Daddy Strongest' syndrome.
Will you take a long break from your career once the baby comes?
I have no clue, it depends on the baby and me.
How much time does Ajay give you?
Wow! That's a loaded question. On holidays a lot, but otherwise a little less. We do accompany him on outdoor shoots. He is good with us and takes us with him wherever he can.