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A site for the confused, lonely desi

Sonia Chopra

Vineeta Wadhwa is a typical American-born confused desi, or ABCD. And she readily admits that having been born and bought up in the United States, she has lost something of her culture. A culture she is proud of and respects. And a rich legacy she wants to pass on to the children she hopes to have with someone as 'Indian' and 'American' as herself.

Wadhwa, 27, is a marketing manager at an Internet company in Washington, DC. As a busy professional who works seventy-hour weeks, she has little time to socialise. Her parents keep pestering her to meet eligible Indian men, but there are few in their circle of friends. And chances of meeting more were bleak.

Chatting about this with her friends, Wadhwa discovered that finding 'Indian' partners or even friends to hang out with was difficult for all of them.

They decided to do something about it. And that was how merapyar.com was born. A Web-based dating service, it has accumulated over 1,000 members since its birth seven months ago.

Basically, it's an online dating service, which offers Indian Americans and busy South Asian professionals in search of the right partner a chance to meet others like themselves.

Dating sites are a dime a dozen. "But," says Wadhwa, "none of them are targeted towards us. And if they are, they are all matrimonial," Wadhwa said. "We all have a strong desire to meet someone Indian, but the opportunities are limited."

Has the site worked for her personally?

"It would be nice if I meet Mr Right, but I made many friends. But I do want the right guy from the same culture so he can understand the idiosyncrasies of being Indian," she says. "Then, you don't have to explain things like why do we call every man and women our parents' age 'uncle' and 'aunty'."

Last week, merapyar.com organised 'Masala Dates' in a club in Washington, DC. South Asian men and women were paired for five minutes before moving on to the next person. The next event will be held in Philadelphia in August, and New York, Chicago and Atlanta in the months to come.

"There's no pressure. You're not alone. You are in a public place, a lounge, club or a restaurant, and you get to meet others, just like yourself, and maybe make a few friends," says Wadhwa.

"Besides, we have an amazing culture and I have a strong passion to preserve it. We have already lost a lot."

The typical member profile is South Asian, between the ages of 22 and 35, successful professional, born and educated in the US. The numbers are equally divided between the sexes.

Wadhwa and her team are extremely privacy-conscious. There are safeguards on the Web site to protect people's names and emails. "No one will have your e-mail id, name or address until you choose to reveal it," she says.

Born and raised in West Virginia by parents who inculcated Indian values and encouraged a career in the sciences, Wadhwa graduated from Miami University in Oxford, Ohio, with majors in microbiology and marketing.

After three years at J Walter Thompson, an advertising agency in Detroit, Michigan, she spent a year at an Internet company before moving to Washington, DC.

"MeraPyar will always be there. Even after we all find the one person we are searching for, it will be there for others," she pledges.

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