We asked Get Ahead readers to share experiences of lending money to their friends and relatives with us. Here's what Trushant Mehta from the US and Aditi Bhattacharya from India have to say about friendship and money:
I would like to mention two of my friends among all great people I am having on my list. One is Kaushal Thakore and the other one is Nihar Chokshi.
I met Kaushal in New York City in Nov 2002. We worked for the same company for 5 months and then I left USA to come back to India for good. We have been in touch through emails since then but in Jan 2005, I went back to USA with my wife. And since he was the one who I had known personally for 5 months, he offered me his hand to stay with him in his apartment in Jersey City, New Jersey.
I was there with my wife for almost a month and neither he nor his wife Payal asked for a single penny from us. Not for food, not for rent. Nothing! After that I went to Texas as I got a project there. But we will never forget Kaushal and his family's true love and care for both of us.
We are great friends and I consider him as my elder brother.
Later, when we moved to Dallas, Texas, I was walking a mile one way to my office every day as I did not have the money to buy even a used car. There I met Nihar, who was my old roommate and a senior from my college days. He is a building block of my life from those days.
We had stayed in touch through emails for almost 5 years! Later he went to New Hampshire and was planning to visit Dallas. It has been long time since we had met. So, he paid a visit and while he was leaving, he said: "If you need anything, do not hesitate".
I rely on those words and after 3 months, I called him up and asked for a whopping $4,000 to buy a used car. I asked him to lend me the amount for 4 months and without any question or hesitation, he got the money transferred to my bank account the very NEXT DAY!
I bought the used car and he never asked me to return him his money. NEVER EVER! I returned it in 4 months, though. You would not believe but still there are few MASIHA's (messiahs) out there! I can consider Kaushal and Nihar as mine. Have you ever got yours? Have you ever been a messiah to someone else? If not, change your mind and thought process about money and also about friendship.
-- Trushant Mehta, Dallas, Texas
Two golden rules of money lending
I have a couple of experiences to share about lending money to office colleagues. This was about 4 years ago. I had recently returned from the US and most people in the office could guess that they could touch me for a loan.
Experience No 1: A colleague asked me for a loan of Rs 50,000 because he was buying a house. Before requesting this, he softened me up by visiting me at home with his family. He promised to return the money in 3 months. After 2 months had passed, I reminded him about the loan and he was kind enough to return Rs 20,000!
But then, even after repeatedly following up with him, he didn't pay up the rest of the money he had borrowed. Finally I quit the organisation and left without managing to recover the remaining amount of Rs 30,000.
Experience No 2: Another friend-cum-colleague who was pretty close to me was going through major financial problems and asked me for a loan of Rs 1,00,000.
However he was upfront that he wouldn't be able to return the money until his financial problems were resolved. He said this could take anywhere between 1-2 years. Because I knew him as a good person, I lent him the money but at the back of my mind, I wrote off that amount from my bank balance. I thought of it more as money I had given to him than lent him.
Based on these experiences, I have created 2 golden rules on lending:
~ Never lend money to little known colleagues or acquaintances.
~ If ever a friend approaches you for a loan, give him/her whatever amount is possible for you to spare and which can be written off without regret. This will ensure that your friendship remains intact
-- Aditi Bhattacharya, India
Also read:
Neither a borrower nor a lender be!
Don't lend money to a friend, you will lose both!
Money lending: The brighter side of life
'Friendships last forever, money doesn't'
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Have you even found yourself in such a situation? Has a relative/ friend who borrowed money from you defaulted on repayment? How did you handle things?
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