Sex queries: 'I'm scared of getting circumcised'

We invited Get Ahead readers to mail in their questions. Here is the next set of responses:

Hello Sir,

I am a 23-year-old male and not married and never had sex until now. I masturbate once or twice a week...the problem is, when I masturbate, I usually ejaculate within a maximum of 30 seconds. Will I have the same ejaculation period during intercourse? I've heard that ejaculation before one minute is premature ejaculation. If that is premature ejaculation, how should I increase my time? Must I use any medicines or will simply spending more time on foreplay suffice? My last question is, what foods should someone take to increase sexual capabilities?

Ajay A

Your understanding of the current definition of premature ejaculation is correct. Ejaculation in under one minute after vaginal penetration is labelled early nowadays.

Many boys and young men usually begin masturbating furtively under conditions of limited privacy and fears of 'getting caught in the act'. They have always needed to and wanted to ejaculate early, and soon, this becomes a habit. This has to be unlearnt.

Often, a change in living conditions to one that confers more privacy will solve the problem. In past decades, there used to be a lot of talk about how one can train oneself to delay ejaculation by practicing the 'stop-start' and 'pinch-squeeze' techniques and the like. However, these were found eventually to be not effective and sustainable.

Today, the gold standard treatment for this condition is oral medication therapy. Priligy (dapoxetine) has just received approval and has been launched in some countries. Early ejaculation is also known to often improve with age, and especially within the context of a stable relationship with harmonious inter-personal dynamics. I also would recommend that you read Chapter 11, On Fast Guys and Other Seminal Matters, in my book, Sexx is Not a Four-Letter Word. It is easily available online through rediff Books, India's largest online bookstore. You might also want to read Chapter 38, The Better Orgasm Diet.

Dear Doctor,

I am a 27-year-old male from Delhi. There is a little problem with my upper skin of the penis. The upper skin is very tight to move. If I need to slide it, I need to do it in an un-erect position only. After erection, it will not move. I think if I don't move it before erection, it is restricting the size of the erection also.

Secondly, it will ejeculate very early if I masturbate with skin on it. When I move the skin before erection, after erection it will get stuck behind the erected head. I checked with doctors, they suggest me circumcision of the upper skin. But I am not comfortable with that. First, it will remove protection to the penis. Secondly, it is sensitive to be without upper skin.

Kindly suggest a solution to the non-movement for me.

Regards.

What you've got is a tight foreskin, and the condition is known as phimosis. The correct treatment for this is a circumcision operation. Your misgivings about this operation are most unfounded. Many men, in fact, are opting for circumcision nowadays even without having any foreskin problems. I get several requests every week (because I have devised a special technique for this). It is extremely safe if done properly, and has many health benefits too. There is no evidence anywhere that male sexuality is adversely affected by this procedure. About one-third and more of the world's total male population, and about 70 percent of men in the United States are circumcised. Not too many are whining or complaining. Get it done. In your case, you have no option.

Hi sir,

Whenever we have sex, after climaxing, all the semen which get released doesn't go inside her vagina. It comes out when I withdraw my penis. This affects my wife getting preganant. What should we do to hold my semen completely inside her to help us conceive? We have been married for more than 6 months. Do reply to our query.

Thank you.

Don't worry about it. Most of the fluid that oozes out of the vagina is seminal plasma, the less viscous component. The viscid, sperm-rich fraction of the ejaculate usually sticks tenaciously to the cervix of the uterus. Hence, fertility is not significantly affected. Which is why we have 1,100 million people. You see, the vagina is not a cavity or a tunnel; it is a potential space; except right inside where there are fornices near the cervix. The sperms in the ejaculate stay back here. When the penis is withdrawn, the vaginal walls fall together again, and redundant seminal plasma oozes out. One does not need to perform absurd bedroom acrobatics like elevating buttocks on pillows (a practice that is very common), and so on, to counter this ooze.