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8 secrets to super sex revealed

July 22, 2009 11:54 IST

Forget Viagra, sex toys or mastering Kama Sutra-style sexual gymnastics -- the key ingredients to great sex are all in your mind, according to a recent study.

Contrary to the pop culture notion that hot looks and masterful technique are what matter, recent research by The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality found that the real essentials are an emotional connection between partners, communication and focus.

The study, conducted on married couples over the age 60, also found that the best sex becomes part of relationships as they become more mature, reports Fox News.

The key ingredients to rockstar sex are:

1. Being present, focused and embodied

More than any other factor, there is a need for lovers to be completely absorbed in the moment, feeling completely merged in one another.

2. Connection, alignment and being in sync

The depth of connection is critical to the experience, with lovers becoming one and synchronous as their energies align.

3. Deep sexual and erotic intimacy

With intimacy as the foundation of the relationship, the components of intimacy lend themselves to optimal sex. These include caring, deep mutual respect, admiration and true acceptance of one another.

4. Extraordinary communication and heightened empathy

Lovers realising optimal sex are able to read their partner''s bodily responses, truly feeling them. They also listen in both verbal and non-verbal ways, picking up on little things and being sensitive in every way.

5. Authenticity, being genuine and uninhibited transparency

Participants reported the ability to become emotionally naked, share freely and feel unselfconscious with their lover as critical to having better sex.

6. Vulnerability and surrender

Lovers have a willingness to expose themselves, to truly be seen. By putting themselves in another's hands, they relinquish themselves, ultimately penetrating each other's souls.

7. Bliss, transformation and healing

Optimal sex is an exalted, soulful, timeless state of awe and ecstasy.

8. Exploration, interpersonal risk-taking and fun

Sex is an adventure, with lovers becoming explorers as lovemaking becomes one such discovery. This is complemented by unleashing one's sense of humour and laughter.

Source: ANI