Andrologist and microsurgeon Dr Sudhakar Krishnamurti will be responding to rediff readers' sexual queries on a regular basis.
We invited Get Ahead readers to mail in their questions. Here is the next set of responses:
Hi Dr Krishnamurti,
I got recently married and am having trouble with sex with my wife. She complained of immense pain and burning sensation which is not bearable, so I stopped at that point. I checked her vagina, I could not see the vaginal opening, maybe the hymen is not yet broken. I tried inserting my finger to check if I could sense the vaginal opening but she could not bear the pain. Another problem is that whenever I try to get on top, the vagina gets dry. Its been two months now and because of many unsuccessful attempts we are losing confidence.
Please advise, what can we do about it? Can I use some water-based lubrication, if so please advise a gel?
Please don't publish my name for privacy.
Thanks and Regards
This kind of problem has been addressed by me earlier in these columns.
It is hard to tell exactly what your problem might be on the basis of the information provided. It is not correct for you to try and make this diagnosis yourself without proper knowledge of a woman's anatomy. You may even inadvertently injure your partner.
Several possibilities exist in your case:
(i) Your wife may have vaginismus. This is a condition where the muscles of the vaginal wall go into contraction and spasm on attempted intercourse. Vaginismus can be diagnosed only by physical examination by a gynecologist or sexual medicine consultant. Treatment must begin only after such examination and diagnosis.
(ii) The other possibility is that your wife has a rigid hymen that does not allow even the insertion of a finger.
Pain and burning are not good signs. Your wife must see a physician. In fact, she ought to have seen one much earlier.
Dear Dr Sudhakar,
How are you doing?? I saw the article on you on rediff and decided to clear a few doubts I have about sex:
1) My female would like to have sex without protection and says that the period after her menses is ideal for it. Is she right in saying that she will not become pregnant during the period just after her menstrual cycle?? When would be the ideal time for having sex without protection, if there is a period or time for it??
2) Are birth control pills unhealthy for a female?? The reason I ask this is because I have heard it has side effects. Can you suggest names of some good female contraceptives which will have no side affects on the female's health or foetus?
3) Is the clitoris the only sensitive area of the female vagina or is there any other point by which I can arouse and excite the female?
4) Men are easily aroused but women take time and therefore I know that foreplay is very important to get a female in the mood. Can you suggest a few effective foreplay techniques?
5) Is it bad to have sex after the female is pregnant?? If not, till how many months can a couple have sex without hurting the foetus or baby in any way?
6) Is it true that one drop of semen is enough to get a female pregnant? If this is so, when a guy climaxes on the vagina, will the female get pregnant??
7) There is a rumour that if a guy masturbates more than 5 times (consecutively with 5-10 minutes gap), blood will start flowing out and there is even a chance the guy could die...Is this true?
Hoping to hear from you soon on this matter.
1) This question has been addressed in earlier editions of this column. You will find those answers in the archives. Roughly speaking, your partner is right in what she is saying. The days immediately before and immediately after a menstrual period are generally considered 'safe', and they usually are. The risk of pregnancy is highest at the time of ovulation, ie when the woman's ovary releases the egg. In the classical 28 days' cycle, ovulation usually occurs on the 14th day. If the cycle is shorter or longer, ovulation can be expected to occur 14 days before the first day of bleeding of the next period. It is best to avoid sex or use contraception starting 4 days before and until 4 days after the date of ovulation. This roughly corresponds with what your wife has told you.
2) On the whole, oral contraceptive pills have many side effects and I do not recommend them. Some of these side effects are dangerous and irreversible, especially if used long term. Their only advantage is convenience. Hence their popularity.
3) Half to two thirds of women will attain climax (orgasm) only with some form of indirect or direct clitoral stimulation, and no amount of vigorous peno-vaginal thrusting can do this for them. It is therefore, always a good idea for men to acquire some knowledge about female genital anatomy instead of just groping in the dark. It is helpful if the woman educates her partner about this because she knows her own body. Having said that, however, a woman is erogenous from head to toe; but orgasm is another matter.
4) I am afraid that a detailed discussion of foreplay techniques is outside the scope of a column such as this. It is best to communicate with your partner and ask her what she'd like done. Different women like different things.
5) In a normal pregnancy, one is generally advised to go easy with sex during the first three months and the last month. With high risk pregnancies and in other special situations, more restrictions may be necessary.
6) One drop of semen can contain several million sperms. Theoretically speaking, given the aggressive motility of sperms, migration from vagina to cervix is easy.
7) Please read Chapter 9, Self Help is the Best Help, Chapter 11, On Fast Guys and other Seminal Matters, and Chapter 39, Masturbation Facts, in my book Sexx is Not a Four-Letter Word to find answers to these questions. The book can easily be ordered on line from the rediff bookstore.
Dear Dr Krishnamurti,
Hope you are doing fine. I just read your article on sexual issues and since I am getting married this June, I have few queries in mind. I hope you shall be able to spare some of your valuable time answering them.
My menstrual cycle will start during my honeymoon period. Is it okay to have intercourse during that time? Is it necessary for my partner to use protection at that time? What pill can I take to delay my period, since I dont want to spoil our honeymoon?
Also, we shall be planning our baby after November. Apart from my partner using condoms, what are the other available options for me to avoid pregnancy? If pills are the option, what kind of pills are to be taken and when should I stop taking them?
Sex during menstruation is not forbidden but it may be messy, sticky and predispose to infections because blood is a culture medium for bacteria, fungi, etc...
I have already, in Answer 2, expressed my views on oral contraceptive pills. It would be best to consult your gynaecologist.*Name changed to protect privacy.
Do you have a question for Dr Krishnamurti? Simply e-mail him at email@example.com; responses will be published each week and names will be withheld upon request.
Dr Sudhakar Krishnamurti is an international award-winning andrologist and microsurgeon. He is the only Indian on the world's first-ever batch of sexual medicine fellows (Oxford, 2007). Best known for the Krishnamurti Operation for Peyronie's Disease, he is also the founder of Andromeda, India's first andrology center, and author of the book Sexx is Not a Four-Letter Word. Click here to purchase the book from rediff Shopping.
Disclaimer: Please note that Dr Krishnamurti will be answering the most relevant queries at his discretion each week. His advice may not necessarily reflect the opinions of rediff.com and while it is in the capacity of professional medical counselling, it in no way should be considered an alternative to visiting a medical specialist for sex-related ailments.