Are your sexual activities suffering a setback? Here's how to keep your sessions in the sack satisfying. Illustration: Uttam Ghosh
Losing your sex drive can be very depressing and can cause lots of problems in any relationship. Here are some practical tips on reviving your libido and satisfying your partner.
Effective communication
It's important to be able to communicate well with your partner. Sit and talk through your feelings to prevent him/her from feeling rejected or hurt and to gain support.
If you are getting tense or anxious, tell your partner how you are feeling. Tell one another what would feel good next. If you both discuss what you would like and what gives you pleasure, you will become aroused and can bring each other to climax. Just be sure it's what both of you feel ready for.
Make time for sex
Busy lives and hectic schedules can make it difficult to find the time to get intimate with your partner. To keep a good sex life going requires you to give your relationship some space too.
Even if you don't have sex, you can find some time to get close and intimate with your partner, even if it means just cuddling in bed.
If you've just had a child, the sex life tends to take a backseat. Afternoons, when the baby is asleep, are usually a good time to focus your attentions on your partner, as when the evening rolls around you're often too tired.
Feel good about yourself and please yourself
Being sexy is less about how you look and more about how you feel about yourself. Also, the mind is the most forgotten sex organ and feeling good about yourself will really boost your sexual confidence. When it comes to sex, it's also important to feel relaxed.
Self-pleasuring helps keep the pubococcygeal muscles (muscles of the pubis) strong.
Create the right setting
A good sexual approach made in an appropriate and healthy environment is most likely to succeed. If you want to spice up your sex life, then tidy up your room and reduce the clutter that can distract you -- focus on other things.
Try putting scented or perfumed candles in the room as your sense of smell plays an important part when it comes to sexual arousal.
Getting away from home once in a while can make you feel pampered and in the mood for play.
A warm bedroom -- with soft lights, if possible and low music -- makes for a good and healthy sexual environment.
Try something new
Rather than doing the same old dance between the sheets, try something a little different and new. Try new sexual positions or simply change the order of your own routine.
More foreplay during sex will stimulate orgasms.
Either in a warm bath, using soap or oil, or in a warm bed using lotion to make your hands glide smoothly, massage each others' bodies all over.
Sex toys and aphrodisiacs
People have differing attitudes towards sex toys and games, but most are sure to find a few sex aids that they feel comfortable with.
Aphrodisiacs -- asparagus, oysters, champagne, and chocolates -- may help get you in the mood.
A realistic approach
Change always takes a while, but practice makes you perfect.
If you have recently given birth, your partner may be more interested in rekindling your sex life before you feel ready and comfortable with it. Sit and talk to him/her about your interests. Explain that you need a little time to get used to being intimate again before feeling the desire for intercourse.
Reach for lubricants
Lubrication plays a very important part in preventing pain during intercourse.
Vaginal yeast infections, breast-feeding, menopause and fear of sexual pain can all cause vaginal dryness.
It's not me, it's him
Don't get surprised or panic if you partner suffers from erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation or tight vaginal muscles and thighs. The problem can be remedied and treated. Reassurance and confidence will boost your sex life.
Sleep and diet
Instead of falling into bed exhausted and tired at midnight, dedicate time to sex by getting under the sheets together earlier. Don't have sex when you are tired. Adequate sleep of 7-8 hours a night will help you.
A diet rich in green leafy vegetables and fresh fruit keeps your overall health in a good state, including sexual health.
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