How to keep your boss happy

Writer, traveller, storyteller Ketan Joshi's book What They don't Teach You about Marketing is neither a textbook, nor management gyaan. Written storybook style it is the story of a young MBA, who joins an FMCG company as a management trainee.

Presented here is an excerpt from the book.

Making the ad

Ramesh was very excited when the ad agency group filed in to make the first script presentation. Because, in spite of all the points about marketing being a very holistic function with a business development objective rather than brand creation, Ramesh still felt that the communication creation aspect was the most important part of marketing.

A good ad campaign was what separated the good marketing department from the mediocre ones. Though Shailesh was not saying anything, Ramesh could see that he was excited as well.

The other reason for Ramesh's excitement was that the famous ad guru, Praveen Parihar, would be presenting the scripts. Praveen was the most revered figure in the ad agency, and if truth be told, he was the reason why the agency had been selected in the first place.

He was responsible for most of the brilliant ads that had established the reputation of the agency, and he had also built up the culture of breakthrough creativity in his second line team as well.

He was a real icon in the advertising industry, a shining star in the creative firmament. It had been Ramesh's dream to be associated with him in a marketing campaign.

Excerpted from What They don't Teach You about Marketing (Rs 195) by Ketan Joshi, with the permission of publishers Macmillan Publishers India Ltd., New Delhi.

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On the presentation day, Praveen came in, with all his juniors from the ad agency obsequiously circling around him. He was of medium height and built, had a gray handlebar moustache and teeth stained yellow with a lifetime of cigarettes and paan masala. He scorned the usual westernised look which was adopted by most advertising professionals, and instead went resolutely in the opposite direction: completely desi.

He wore the simplest of clothes, dirty kolhapuri chappals, unkempt hair and though capable of splendid English, he spoke earthy Hindi spiced with slang. This 'reverse snobbery' had been very successful in establishing him, and it was said that he practised his earthy slang in front of the mirror for maximum impact.

The Director-Sales and Marketing was there at the meeting in his honour, and Praveen -- ever the ideal client relationship man -- greeted the Director with a 'Good to see you Subhashish'.

Although they had hardly met two or three times ever, Praveen hugged him as if they were long-lost brothers.

The Director acted composed, but he was thrilled. He was quite vain and eager to be seen as a friend of Praveen's and shine in his reflected glory. Praveen had read his man perfectly.

It was quite a big group that sat around the table -- the client servicing and the creative team from the agency, and three levels of hierarchy from marketing, plus the management trainee.

The client-servicing manager started the meeting with a small background of the learnings from the research and analysis, and the creative brief that had been given to them. Then Praveen cleared his throat and presented the ad.

He was an amazing presenter, with the voice modulation and acting skills of a trained thespian; he was capable of even making the telephone directory come alive.

Unfortunately the script presented was very poor. Ramesh was in shock, as the presentation came to an end.

The ad had nothing to do with the brief that they had so painstakingly worked out. It sounded as if Praveen had thought about it while in the shower in the morning, and had scribbled it down in the car while coming (this was true, as a matter of fact).

Praveen looked expectantly at Subhasish for his opinion; he was very experienced and knew that nobody else's opinion mattered in the least. For a moment there was absolute silence in the room. Then Subhashish looked around the room, and identifying Ramesh as the junior, asked him to state his opinion.

Ramesh was cornered. He couldn't say openly that the ad was utter nonsense and should be dumped in the bin, so he cleared his throat and tried to be diplomatic.

'Er... Subhasish, I think that parts of the ad were good... the start was interesting... but...' when he was interrupted by a loud WHAM! Praveen had slammed his palm on the table and was looking livid.

'I AM SORRY! This is not the way I expect to be treated. If you don't like the ad, say so clearly. But don't try to pick my ad to pieces! I will not tolerate it! I am very sorry, but I just will not tolerate it.'

Ramesh was stunned by this rudeness, and didn't know how to react. He turned flushed and shut up. There was silence around the table. Sunil looked at Subhasish, Shailesh looked at his hands.

Subhasish smirked and changed the subject. 'Sunil, what do you think?' Sunil gave his opinion, the GPM gave his opinion, Shailesh gave his opinion. And when Subhasish felt safe after hearing so many opinions, he turned to Praveen and said, 'This script is good- indeed, it is very good...' Ramesh gasped, and the others said nothing. 'But, I think it needs some changes. Some polishing, you know. Sunil will brief you after we discuss this internally.'

Then there was some more inane conversation, and then Subhasish invited Praveen to his cabin to have a cup of coffee and have some private conversation. Ramesh stepped out of his first-ever script presentation meeting feeling utterly crushed.

'Why are you looking so down?' Vinod asked. 'Is it about that lout Praveen bellowing at you in the meeting?'

'Good heavens! Has the news circulated all over the place already?'

'No, Shailesh told me about it. Don't worry. Praveen is an uncouth, loud-mouthed prima donna; and unfortunately is too astute for you. He knew that the script wasn't good, and he knew that you were the fresher in the team. Therefore it was absolutely safe to explode on you and play the wounded tiger, so that no one else would call his bluff and expose the ad as being useless. He knew what he was doing, and you didn't.'

'But what about Subhasish's reaction? He didn't say a word.'

'It was natural. Subhasish is the most egoistical, idiotic, self-serving, empty-headed fellow it has ever been my misfortune to have as a boss. He wouldn't save his own grandmother if it meant alienating a star like Praveen. Then whom would he be able to talk about in his cocktail parties? I wonder why it is that top management is filled with such... hi Shailesh... I was just trying to cheer your boy up.'

'Yes, I heard.' Shailesh grinned. 'Heaven spare him from such cheering up. But Ramesh, you really put your foot in it, I must say.'

But... what did I do wrong? I was trying to be diplomatic.'

'You should have noticed how chummy Subhasish wants to be with Praveen. He obviously wouldn't back anybody against Praveen -- not even Sunil, let alone a management trainee. You shouldn't have tried to criticise the ad at all.'

'Then what should I have said?'

'You should have just said that it was good, and we should discuss internally and give a detailed opinion later. You put him in a very awkward position by stating openly that the ad was not good.'

'That's right.' Vinod cut in. 'Remember Ramesh, the most important skill in working life is Boss management. If you can keep your boss happy, you will prosper. If not, however good or competent you may be, you will rot.

I know I told you once not to take things I say seriously, but this one thing you should write on your brain in indelible ink. Be the boss as he may -- good, bad or ugly -- the most important thing you have to do is to keep him happy.'