Painful break-ups: 'She eloped after our engagement'

Yesterday, after the news of Sania Mirza's broken engagement came to light, we invited readers to share similar stories of heartbreak with us. Here, Satish Kumar tells his story:

I am married with two sons.

My story goes back to the '90s, when my parents set up my engagement to a girl I had never seen. The marriage was fixed for December 13, 1990. As there were no communication facilities available at that point of time, I used to converse with one of my cousins to update me on all the developements taking place.

One fine day, I rang up my cousin only to hear that the girl to whom I got engaged ran away with her boyfriend. I got a little bit embrassed, since I had already distributed the invitation cards amongst my colleagues.

The only relief was that I never met that girl and all my parents had sent me was a photograph of her.

It did not take much time for me to come to terms with the situation as I am firm believer in God and destiny. Had this incident taken place after my marriage, what would have been the trauma that I would have undergone?

So whatever happens is for the best. We have heard of many celebrities breaking the knot after a long association and it is not a new thing in the world now-a-days.

It is very difficult to build a long-standing relationship, but it takes no time to break away.

Do you have a story of a break-up you'd like to share with us and other readers? Maybe an experience that could help someone else facing the same problem? Write to us at getahead@rediff.co.in (subject line: 'My Big Break-up') and we'll publish the best entries right here on rediff.com

'I cried like I have never cried before'

And here is an account from a reader who prefers to go by the moniker 'Doverdemon':

The first time I saw her was back in the summer of 2007. We were a bunch of new employees with a similar background, looking forward to our white-collared jobs, fresh out of college, excited as hell.

We were staying on our employers' massive campus, hundreds of us, day and night. And there she was, like an angel who stood out from the rest. I had an immediate crush on her but couldn't muster enough strength to talk to her; all I could think was, 'Man she is so pretty!'

But I had to talk to her, so I managed to make friends with her gang and I got introduced -- and usually this is as far as I go with girls. The ones who interest me are not interested in me and the ones whom I don't find interesting end up getting interested in me. But this girl was different, and I gave up thinking she was too good for me. Somehow, as destiny would have it, she was the one who initiated our relationship. We used to go for long walks and she would talk endlessly; I would laugh and wonder what a cheerful, happy, energetic soul she was, so unlike me yet so endearing.

In just a few days we became really close -- we would talk/text endlessly and she slowly became a part of my life that I couldn't part with. Then one day, before I could ask her, she told me she had a boyfriend. I was slightly shattered, but these were early days, so I thought it's better to have known this fact now and to maintain some distance and treat her like I would any other friend. So I made up my mind and told her that we needed to stop talking to each other for awhile, because I needed to put it in my head that she belonged to someone else.

She was very unhappy with this decision of mine, but she agreed. We stopped talking/chatting/texting each other for a while. I tried to forget her, but it just kept getting worse and I couldn't stop thinking of her. After a couple of months, in an inebriated state, I messaged and told her that I couldn't stop thinking of her. She told me she couldn't either and we decided to meet the very next day for lunch. I couldn't believe how relieved I felt when I met her -- it was like getting my life back. I told her I was okay with being just friends with her and I couldn't care less if she had a boyfriend, as long as he didn't figure in our conversations.

Surprisingly, the very next day she dumped her boyfriend. I was zonked -- I hadn't seen that coming, but this girl was full of surprises from the minute I met her. With her boyfriend out of the way, we only got closer, physically and mentally and then soon enough we were inseparable. She visited my folks, she got to know my friends, it was all going really smooth. I told her that I loved her madly, but she kept quiet and said she needed more time.

A few more months passed and I got impatient and told her that the only reason I was not taking a transfer back to my hometown was because of her and she would have to say something soon enough. Then she told me that she would speak to her dad about me. I was thrilled, because I had almost given up after so many months of pursuing it; I was ready to take no for an answer and just leave the darn place and head back home. But here she was telling me that she loved me and that there was just one last hurdle of her parents having to say yes.

Then one day, she said that she spoke to her folks and there was a lot of resistance from them -- they wouldn't agree to this relationship. I did not lose hope. I consoled myself by thinking if the girl loves me, then there is nothing on earth that can stop us being together. This dragged on for a couple of months, before one day she finally broke down in front of me saying all this was a lie, that she never really loved me and that she would be getting married soon to some guy that her folks had chosen for her.

I was shattered. She begged me not to push this any further and asked me not to get involved and to forget about her. It took a long time for the reality to sink in -- it was a strange feeling, as I couldn't believe it was actually happening. She was actually leaving me. I shed no tears; I stopped calling her and almost a year later she got engaged and that day I cried like I have never cried before.

Today she is married and in a different country and has definitely moved on. I continue to pick up the pieces and still live in a state of shock as to how things went horribly wrong -- so many unanswered questions, so few answers. I will never know... I''m still searching for the peace that eludes me.

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