Andrologist and microsurgeon Dr Sudhakar Krishnamurti will be responding to rediff readers' sexual queries on a weekly basis.
Recently, we invited Get Ahead readers to mail in their questions. Here is the fourth set of responses:
I am a 27-year-old female, diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome. My husband and I have been trying for a baby for over six months now, with no luck. Also, as a result our sex life has become somewhat tedious and boring. Can you help out on both counts?
Thanks,
PK Krishna
For your polycystic ovarian disease (PCOD), I must refer you to your gynecologist. However, it is too early to label you guys an 'infertile' couple. A couple can be labelled infertile only if there is no pregnancy after one year to one-and-a-half years of unprotected sexual intercourse. It is also possible that your husband has a male infertility factor. Fifty percent of all infertility is male factor related. Regarding your humdrum sex life, it is your attitude that seems to be responsible. You seem to be engaging in sex for the sole purpose of procreation. A situation quite analogous to yours is discussed in Chapter 17, Make Love, Not War, of my book, Sexx is Not a Four-Letter Word. Men almost never have sex with just this (procreative) motive. To them, having children is incidental (or accidental) to love-making. It is easy to understand how an attitude such as yours can completely dampen your husband's sexual ardour. Both of you need to approach sex with renewed enthusiasm and innovativeness.
I am B Chandra Shekar, aged 28 and I am married 2 years back. Till now my marriage is not consummated and my main problem is premature ejaculation (I am getting erection normally and it stands for 2 to 3 minutes and ejaculates immediately). Please help me.
Regards
BC Shekar
I'm not too sure if there many other places in the world than India where such things happen. I see several cases like this. It's not just tragic, it's infuriating, shameful. And all this is mainly thanks to our all-suffering doormat women (the 'co-operative wives') and our MCP (male chauvinist pig) men. How can anybody, man or woman, put up with such a situation for 24 months after marriage? Does it seem normal even to you? Even now, you are just sitting at home and shooting off an email in the hope of getting some shortcut magical remedy emailed to you, and this too is probably only because your parents and in-laws are now asking to see grandchildren. Get real. You need a complete andrology evaluation. Check out www.andrology.com.
Dear Doctor,
1. Is premature ejaculation curable?
2. Is there any excercise to control premature ejaculation?
3. What percentage of indian males suffer from premature ejaculation?
Thanks
Joshvin S
2. Exercises alone can't fix PE, but pelvic floor exercises like the Ashwini Mudra and the Vajrauli Mudra described in yoga can help. Kegel's Exercises are based on the same principles. These apart, good physical, mental and emotional fitness, in general, do improve the overall sexual experience.
3. PE is the commonest sexual problem in the world, and is said to afflict nearly 70 percent of all men, if not more. The atavistic model of human ejaculation is the 'premature' one. Caveman lived (and copulated) in dangerous environs, and had to sow his seed in a hurry, before either lightning or a lion could strike him, and this atavistic ejaculatory model continues in man. To learn to ejaculate normally, this has to be 'un-learnt'. Few do.
This subject is discussed in some detail in Chapter 11, On Fast Guys and Other Seminal Matters, of my book, Sexx is Not a Four-Letter Word.
Is there any treatment other than operation for Peyronie's Disease?
Suffering for the one-and-a-half years. Kindly suggest some solution.
Kindly keep it secret.
JP
Only a quarter to a third of patients with Peyronie's Disease will require surgery. Operation is usually performed after the disease has run its full course of one to one-and-a-half years. Penile deformity that precludes sexual intercourse, and/ or causes botheration, and/or erectile dysfunction (impotence), are the most common indications (reasons) for surgery. For much more on Peyronie's disease, visit www.PeyroniesDisease.org.Dear Doctor,
My husband wants to indulge in anal sex. I am willing to try, but am afraid of pain and possible infection? What are the risks and precautions we should take?
Sincerely,
T Taranga
This is a good question because the general interest in this subject far surpasses the knowledge people have about it. Also, there is a fair amount of danger in this practice, so there is a real need for education about risks.
Anal intercourse among consenting adults is now accepted as a variation of the normal in many parts of the world. Even historically, it has been an integral part of many cultures and can be seen depicted in various art forms. Khajuraho and Konarak have them too.
Here are a few practical points about anal intercourse:
1. If it must be done, it is mandatory to use a condom, preferably a lubricated one. The anal verge is dry, and entry can be difficult and painful. Anal tears and frenal tears on the penis can both occur.2. A penis, with or without a condom, that has been inserted into the anus, must not be re-inserted into the vagina. This can transmit dangerous infections.
3. Sexually transmitted infections can be easily transmitted to the passive partner by anal intercourse because the anus is very vascular, and micro-tears occur easily, and bacteria and viruses (including HIV) can gain easy ingress. Likewise, the man's urethra (in penis) can contract infections.
4. For similar reasons, oral sex performed on a penis that has been inserted into the anus, can be dangerous, and is a strict NO-NO.
5. The owner of the penis that enters the anus must not get horrified if he sees fecal matter (stool) on his penis!
Dear Dr,
We are a couple married since six months. We are facing problems in intercourse.
My wife suffers with severe pain when I try to insert and she could not bear that pain. I can't see her in pain.
What has to be done? We tried with some Xylocaine gel, but then she does not enjoy the act. Please help.
Regards, Prasad
Sexual intercourse is meant to provide pleasure, not pain. If you cannot use skilful foreplay techniques and some aqueous lubricant to gain entry into the vagina, get your wife to see a gynecologist. If there's something wrong with her, like a tight hymen, or vaginismus, get it fixed. If not, get your erection checked by a good andrologist.
Hello Sir,
I usually get aroused while smoking. I fondle my penis using oil and then I get pleasure/ orgasm by pressing my penis with to and fro movement against pillow and bed.
1. Will this harm my penis and hamper sexual intercourse with my partner? I usually do this 4-5 times a week.
2. Is it bad to do this way? As I get aroused by normal way, but the pleasure is less in this way. I have been doing this(smoking with mastubation) since last 10 years.
3. I usually wash my penis daily with shower gel and hot water.Is it okay?
Need your suggestions.
Regards
Chandan
You are watching too much porn. Smoking can accelerate impotence. It is a big myth that it can produce any sexual arousal.
1. This masturbation practice will not harm you even if you do it several times a day. But you might not have much time left for anything else though, if that is at all a consideration. It will not affect sex with your partner.
2. These have all been addressed above already. Stop watching porn.
3. Even soap and cold water work just as well.
I HAVE A VERY SMALL AND WEAK PENIS, LENGTH IS ONLY 2 INCHES AND THICKNESS IS HARDLY 1 INCH AND MY MARRIAGE IS SETTLED. WHAT SHOULD I DO?
R NIRWAN
Penis size is a cause for perturbation for many men. Much of this perturbation is baseless and stems from ignorance, which, in turn, stems from poor availability of information. Most guys believe that the jumbo penises of freak porn stars are the basic minimum a man needs to make the grade. This is a big misconception. The range of normal values for humans has been published in many leading medical journals. A summary of these studies and the medical facts about penis size are dealt with in Chapter 2, Fallacies about Phalluses, and Chapter 16, Penis Transplants, in my book, Sexx is Not a Four-Letter Word.
Dear Sir,
I am 33 years old. Since my early twenties I've found it very easy to maintain an erection while masturbating or if indulging in sexual activity with a new partner (due to the excitement of a new contact).
However, now that I am married (5 years now) I find it difficult to maintain a strong erection and hence find it difficult to penetrate the vagina.
I either have erectile dysfunction or it could be a mere psychological problem, which prevents a proper erection for me. I look 5 years younger than my real age, am athletic and good looking -- I guess girls must be thinking I am a Greek god in bed, but I'm NOT.
This has messed up my love life and after many failed attempts, my wife and me stopped having sex 2 years ago (this is also in part due to other reasons like not getting along etc).
Recently on a trip overseas I picked up Viagra and had sex with a female colleague -- the Viagra helped me get a proper erection and I could do it 2 or even 3 times in a row.
Now the problem is, it's difficult to obtain Viagra in India, at one store where they had it the chemist loudly asked for a doctor's prescription and I ran from there.
I don't mind buying Viagra and it solves the problem (temporarily), but do you think I should go for a check-up? Who should I go to? Indian hospitals are so unfriendly.
Please help. I'm going mad, but the solution may be a simple one.
Ajay
The solution is a simple one. If your erection is good in some situations but not in some others, the problem must be with the situation, not the penis. This is known as situational erectile dysfunction. You don't yet need tests for this. Using Viagra for this is perfectly correct. To the druggist, it's just another drug. What's embarrassing about it's name being shouted out? You don't get embarrassed when you have fever and he shouts out 'Crocin', do you? What's the difference? Change your attitude. Your penis may be special for you but to people in the medical profession, it's just an organ of the body. Viagra IS a prescription drug. You require to possess one.
Dear Sir,
My sex drive is low so I use spray for longer drive. Kindly let me know whether it's harmful. Also, for my penis to be increased, how to do so by natural way or medicines?
Muniraj
Yes, sprays can be harmful. They are not recommended. Many contain dubious ingredients. There are no natural or medical ways to increase penis size. Surgery is not recommended either. Read the references given in answer to Question 8. Don't fall prey to charlatans.
Do you have a question for Dr Krishnamurti? Simply e-mail him at sexualqueries@rediffmail.com; responses will be published each week and names will be withheld upon request.
Dr Sudhakar Krishnamurti is an international award-winning andrologist and microsurgeon. He is the only Indian on the world's first-ever batch of sexual medicine fellows (Oxford, 2007). Best known for the Krishnamurti Operation for Peyronie's Disease, he is also the founder of Andromeda, India's first andrology center, and author of the book Sexx is Not a Four-Letter Word.
Disclaimer: Please note that Dr Krishnamurti will be answering the most relevant queries at his discretion each week. His advice may not necessarily reflect the opinions of rediff.com and while it is in the capacity of professional medical counselling, it in no way should be considered an alternative to visiting a medical specialist for sex-related ailments.
