'I came across compromising pics of my wife online'

Is your love life under pressure? Are you troubled by your relationship? Get Ahead's Love Guru hosted a chat with readers on February 18 to help them deal with love problems. For those of you who missed it, here's the transcript.

Love Guru says, Hi there, people...welcome back to the Love Guru chat! Hope you all had a super Valentine's Day!

max asked, hi guru,am 38 yr old lady ,in luv wth 31 yr old guy,we met on matrimony site ,there i lie about age there i mention it 33 now we r going to meet ,tht after knowing my age i don,t how he reacts.i am afriad wht if our relation breaks

Love Guru answers, Well, you were silly to lie about your age in the first place! Seven years is not that big a difference anyway. If you tell him now, it's possible that he will not want to meet you at all. So just meet and in person explain you made a mistake lying about your age and don't want to start off the relationship on the wrong foot. After that, it's his call. Worst case scenario, he may not want to take things further, but at least you'll know not to repeat such a thing again!

gaynhappy asked, Dear LG, i am getting into a formal relationship with my boyfriend.. even though its not recognised as a 'marriage' in legal terms, we are drawing up a agreement about the terms and conditions for living together and separation (godforbid..)... both of us are financially independent but my boyfriend is insisting on sharing everyting 50-50 ... am i doing the right thing?

Love Guru answers, If you're doing all this paperwork before moving in together, why aren't you just getting married? In any case, I think 50/50 seems like a fair proposition, unless you're earning way more than he is and own more of the house you'll be sharing than he does. I would suggest keeping your bank accounts separate -- the house and other assets you can share 50/50.

smiley asked, Hi LG, gud to see you. Well, I wanted to celebrate this year V-day with somebody special. Thought I would get engaged by now. Looks like I got to wait for Mr. Right few more days.

Love Guru answers, No harm in that. Don't set time targets for yourself when it comes to relationships. It will hurry you into relationships you're not ready for.

ashi asked, hi i m ashi, i loves a boy, he is very sharp minded and very knowledgable person but sometimes i feels that he deserves better than me. is my thinking like that will make a impact on our relationship.

Love Guru answers, Yes. If you want to be more knowledgeable, work towards it. Read, pursue things that interest you. But don't sell yourself short by thinking you don't deserve him. He may have knowledge that you don't, but you may have certain qualities that he doesn't. Everybody brings different things to the table. And he loves you, I'm guessing -- so that's for who you are, whether you're as smart as he is or not!

scorpion asked, hi LG my gf lied me a lot in the past...i have lost all the trust on her...but she says she still loves me a lot...what should i do...i am totally confused..she doesn;t want to explain anything what she lied but she still wants to be with me...what should i do.

Love Guru answers, First she lies, then she wants to hide it? Tell her if she's serious about wanting to be with you, she needs to tell you the truth once and for all. Otherwise you'll always be bringing this up with her when you fight and the relationship won't move ahead. Once she tells you, it's your call -- forgive, forget and start with a clean slate, or then leave her.

Advice from the Love Guru does not reflect the opinions of rediff.com and should not be considered in the capacity of professional counselling.

javed asked, I am married but unhappy with my marriage life. I love a girl who is married. she is willing to get divorce and even I. But she wants me live in separate city. Should I continue with this releationship

Love Guru answers, Since you both want to divorce your partners, that is not the issue here. The issue is, do you want to move to another city? Don't end your marriage for a relationship that may not last. You'll be going from the frying pan into the fire. First take a call on your marriage. Do you want to leave your wife anyway, or is it for this girl? If she wasn't in the picture, would you do it? Why is your marriage unhappy? Can you work towards resolving issues with your wife? Answer questions about your own life first and then make a decision that's best for your interests, regardless of this other affair.

paa asked, Hi, I loved a girl and we are happily married. Only thing is she seem to have lost the old thinngy we had between us...any suggestion

Love Guru answers, If you don't make efforts to preserve the spark in your marriage, it will die out. So it's up to both of you to relight it time and again. A few romantic gestures will go far in reviving her interest -- taking her away on a surprise holiday, flowers, a special candelit dinner for no reason at all... Women love attention. And if she knows she has yours, it will help her feel more amorous towards you.

dwarakanath asked, Every time i find my kind of girl, i follow her,she throws smile. Finding difficult to propose her.. Dont know whats the problem is..This is almost 6th Girl in my life.She likes me sadly i dont have dare to propose them. Please tell me how to approach the girl if she gives positive approach.

Love Guru answers, Are you a coward or what, dude! If a girl hints that she likes you and you don't take the initiative, you may never get into a relationship! If you don't have the guts to do it in person, send her an e-mail or a handwritten letter or SMS explaining how you feel -- and that you're too nervous to tell her in person!

Gobar asked, Hi Love Guru...I am Gobar... dont ignore my question. I am in love with a girl and she refuses to take my name as her second name. isnt Gobar a cool name?

Love Guru answers, Your second name is as cool as its meaning. Stop wasting my time with your stupid questions, loser.

rahul asked, am married, satisfied. but love to chat with girls/woman on net on daily basis/ i hope its not unusual

Love Guru answers, Rahul, as harmless as this pastime of yours seems, I don't think your wife will like the idea! Would you like her to be chatting with random men online?

scorpion asked, saaale love guru bakwaas hai tu....is this the solution which is very formal....i thought you would recommend some good idea about how should i bring change in her and get her back...you are divorce guru....

Love Guru answers, Let me tell you something, mister. If people could change their partners' personalities, nobody would ever end a relationship! If you're so desperate to stay with her at all costs, even if she's lied (and very likely cheated on you, because she doesn't want to tell you about it), why are you asking for advice? There is nobody in the world who can tell you how to 'change' her. In fact, the very fact that you'll forgive her so easily will deter her from turning over a new leaf. Because she'll know for sure that no matter what she does, she can come crying to you and you'll take her back!

cruze asked, Hello Love Guru I have been in a relation for last 7 yrs I m christian and she is hindu brahmin.Our families are against this relation and it so happnd tht when i spoke abt her at place my mom told me to leave her or leave us.I thought to sacrifice my love for her and advised her to get married in her caste.we did stop talkin to each other but now we both feel we cant live without each other I feel i shud go ahead and get married to her wht do u feel.advice pls

Love Guru answers, Neither of your parents is willing to give your partner a chance. I don't see an alternative for you except to go ahead with your plans to marry anyway. Without your families' permission. But let me just tell you, there are lots of people who do change their minds about their children marrying outside the community eventually. Some even do after the marriage, or after a grandchild is born. So don't lose hope of managing to restore relations with your family eventually. I don't think they're being very fair to you or your girlfriend at this point.

richaraj asked, hi love guru! wenever i fall 4 a guy he doesnt seem to show interest in me but goes after my friends.once he isheart broken he comes back to me.....but by then i m completely over him..wats the problem wid me

Love Guru answers, If this has happened only a couple of times, it could be a coincidence. If it's happening very often, it's either that you give out a 'gal pal' vibe or you've simply got very, very attractive friends! I would suggest you make yourself less available to guys as a buddy and more as a girl. What is it that guys fall for when they start liking your friends? Try to emulate them in this regard. And if you don't feel like changing anything about yourself, or see that as some sort of compromise, don't -- even if it's to happen 100 times more, you're sure to find a boy who's on your wavelength sooner or later.

vij asked, Hi, I like a girl in my office and wants to have here as my friend. We both are married. I am her Boss and not sure how to approach

Love Guru answers, Don't approach! Complication number one: you both are married. Complication number two: you work together. Complication number three: you're senior to her. Don't act on attraction to other women, especially in the workplace! It will put your relationship with your wife -- and your career -- in jeopardy.

ramsingh asked, I am relation with a married woman of 38 yeras.Her hus band is in force.I am of 31 years.She insists on daily---------. I tried my best to avoid her comapny but every time unsuccessful. Pl suggest some way out from this situation.

Love Guru answers, Ever heard the word 'no'? Or the sentence 'I don't want to continue with this relationship anymore'? learn to use them!

red asked, i took ur advice for valentines day and did as u mentioned due to which my gf left me on v day. its only n only bcos of ur pathetic advice i followed. never to follow ur advices

Love Guru answers, Your question last week was whether husbands and wives should celebrate Valentine's Day and I replied in the affirmative! So stop talking nonsense about your girlfriend leaving you over my advice -- my guess is, you have neither a girlfriend nor a wife! And that's hardly surprising!

hi asked, my gf was seeing someone else without my knowledge and I came to know that 1 year later. But after that she wanted to be with me and she said she never loved him and it was just attraction. now she has completely left him and is very much with me. Should I accept her?

Love Guru answers, Look, this is never a yes or no question. Do you want to give her another chance? What was the extent to which she went to lie and cheat on you? Did she own up, or did you find out? Is this the first time she broke your trust? Do you think you can forgive her? The answers to all these questions is all that can determine your course of action. My only advice is, do whatever is in your best interests in the long run.

amoli asked, Hi LG, i love a boy and he loves me too, even he treats me like his future wife. When we go around he always pays for everything i told him several times that let me pay for it but he told that he don't like that girls are paying. I want to know that is his paying all the time is ok or not?

Love Guru answers, Well, gentlemen will never let a lady pick up the tab if they can help it! But if you feel like that's unfair, you can explain to him that you'd like to treat him once in a while too, because it's a gesture of love. Or you can buy him a nice gift now and then with all the money you're saving up on when he pays for you!

shilpi 83 asked, I have come close to one person through arrange marriage proposal. ist day itself we were very comfortable. we have developed soft corner for each other. but after a while we come to knw our kundli does not match, as he is manglik and i am not. family issues are also coming for this. pls let me know can a manglik get married to non- manglik person.or wat we should do, as we want to be get married.

Love Guru answers, I'm not an astrologer, honey, so I can't exactly tell you what you do. So consult an astrologer to help you find a solution to this issue, since both your families believe in it. I'm sure it can be worked out -- I once had a friend who wanted to marry a manglik boy and an astrologer conducted a ceremony of some sort to please her parents. Following that, they could marry.

gouric asked, Hi, I have been married for more than six years now and have a son from my wife. Recently I came across quite a few naked pics of my wife (in the internet - one of the socializing sites) which I have not taken. From the backdrop of the snaps they seem to have been taken in one of my friends' house. tell me what to do now. Thanking you in anticipation.

Love Guru answers, I can only imagine your shock and hurt at finding something like this. But first, are you 100 percent sure it's your wife? Also, are they pictures that she seems to be posing for, or have they been taken when she's unaware? As hard as it is to believe, sometimes all it takes is a trip to the bathroom for photographs like this to surface -- perverts have hidden cameras in all kinds of places. And finally, even if she has had an affair with a friend, for him to do something like this is utterly vile. It takes breach of trust to another level altogether. First tell your wife and hear what she has to say about it -- chances are, she doesn't know these pics are on the web. Then you need to alert the cybercell of the police about the fact that this website is using her photographs without her knowledge and force them to take them down. As for your marriage -- till your wife's side in all of this is known, it would be unfair to take a call on anything.

gaynhappy asked, thanks.. we cant legally get married.. because we are a gay couple.. does that change anything that you just suggested?

Love Guru answers, No, it doesn't. As for the bank accounts, after a few years together, when you're sure that you'll be together permanently, you can always create a joint one. All the best to you both!

Love Guru says, Well, that's it for today, folks! Catch you next week, same time, same place! Till then, take care and all the best!