'Boss has office affair, but my work is suffering!'

Is your love life under pressure? Are you troubled by your relationship? Get Ahead's Love Guru hosted a chat with readers on January 14 to help them deal with love problems. For those of you who missed it, here's the transcript.

Love Guru says, Hi there, people....welcome back to the Love Guru chat! Let's get started.

magic asked, hey good afternoon im im love with a guy from my college..im 20 yrs... but the thing is i love him a lot he just considers me as his friend thats it...i cant stop thinking about him..im scared to tell him..as im worried that our friendship will be spoiled i dont want to lose him... please help...

Love Guru answers, If he really cares about you as a friend I don't think he will stop being close to you, although it may make him initially. Maybe instead of telling him directly you could get a common friend to drop hints to him about the two of you making a cute couple. Then, based on his reaction you can make the decision whether to approach him or not.

ben asked, i just kissed my girl shes 15 im 18 i dont even really know weder i love her or not

Love Guru answers, You both are a little young to contemplate a really serious relationship. Kissing is harmless enough, but don't let things go too far...you're the elder, more mature one, so the responsibility of that decision falls to you. And don't forget, she's a minor. If you're not sure of your feelings yet, don't get too involved physically too soon.

Sameer asked, I love my girlfriend a lot . But being very possesive i dont like her talking to few guys . i have even said her not .. she doesnt for a few days but she again brings up the topic and starts talking to them . What should i do ??

Love Guru answers, You should change your attitude. They are her friends, why should she give them up? And if she was attracted to any of them, why would she date you? The fact that she's with you suggests that you're the one she loves. So be secure in this love and learn to trust her a little, instead of being possessive and overbearing. She will love you even more for it.

SiddharthN asked, Hi Love guru, can u tell me how can i handle 2 girls in my life... The second girl is interested in me... And i am interested in both!!! Please help...

Love Guru answers, Go for the one who returns your interest. Usually, when someone doesn't reciprocate our feelings, it makes that person more appealing in our eyes -- you always want what you can't have even more. But that's not necessarily a reason to pursue a futile situation. Date the girl who feels the same way about you, you'll both be on an equal footing and give love a chance to happen.

satyandra asked, hi, i've not met my gf yet but for the last few months i'm in love with her...she also loves me a lot...but how to know whether she is true or not.

Love Guru answers, Forget not knowing whether she's true or not, you don't know her yet! Wait for personal interactions before jumping into relationships with a blindfold on -- in this case, literally!

Advice from the Love Guru does not reflect the opinions of rediff.com and should not be considered in the capacity of professional counselling.

neha asked, hi sir good moning well iam 45 yrs and till yet i couldnt find a man for me either they want sex or money what to do.recently i came across some one i like him alot,he is a different guy i expresed my love to him and also said i cant hold u and will think always best fo u.i miss him alot what to do he never wties to me but when i call he says how specail iam fo him what shd i undestand

Love Guru answers, Neha, why did you tell him you can't hold onto him? You already said no to a relationship with him before he could say yes or no -- so he knows that door is already closed. You need to make up your mind whether you want to get into a relationship with him or not first. Then ask him whether he is interested in pursuing things seriously. If not, don't push it. But at least explore your options.

SANTOSH asked, I HAVE ATTRACTION WITH A MARRIED WOMAN AND MADE SEX WITH HER TWICE. CAN I CONTINUE THE SAME?

Love Guru answers, What, are you asking my permission? What you do is your decision, but I can point out what's in your future -- trouble. Either someone will find out and it will turn into an ugly mess, or she may leave you eventually. You leaving her is also a possibility, but in any case, she has a family already -- you'll have wasted time on a relationship that had no future to begin with. So make up your mind what you want to do about it.

Gurvinder2 asked, hello love guru!!! I love this guy but the problem is that he is not Gay!!! what should i do???

Love Guru answers, It's as impossible for him to fall in love with you as it is for you to fall in love with a girl. So why waste your time? You'd rather stay friends and overcome these feelings of yours. Date people who are interested in you -- and have the same sexual orientation!

rsh asked, haai lg...going to get married. Is an arranged marrige. but I am confused if I should tell her about my ex affairs?? Actually, my ex is her distant cousin.

Love Guru answers, You don't have to go out of your way to tell her in detail about your past right away. What you can say is that you've had girlfriends in the past and that you hope she is alright with that. Of course, then she may ask you about them -- so when the right chance comes your way, tell her. I'd suggest you tell her about the cousin, though -- it would be disastrous if she heard about it from someone else.

Keshav asked, i am hunting for a girl for marriage ,,,i am not able to find , can luv guru help me ??? The thing is I am not able to contemplate and finalize any girl. I feel them either to be too traditional or either ultra modern and those who fit the bill

Love Guru answers, I think you're too particular about who you're looking for. Every person has qualities that are appealing and qualities that are not. You have to look for someone who is compatible with you and then accept her for her good points as well as her faults.

bhavana asked, i and my husband love each other,v have married for last 12 years,but last year i found out he was calling her up and she too was talking to him without my knoledge.but after i found out this he has promised me he wont do this ever.should i believe him

Love Guru answers, I don't know who this 'she' is, but you're obviously not happy about this situation and I don't blame you. He was caught, he'll obviously say that he won't do it again to placate you. But you know him better than anyone, so you are a better judge of whether he will repeat his behaviour. You need to warn him maybe that you won't tolerate it the second time around -- the thought of losing you may have him toeing the line.

diwakar asked, hello i loved a girl before 10 years but we could not get married. now she is married and i am still single after 7 year she got my cont. no and called me than we talk each other regularly but now i am filling love with her and she also she has two child and happy married life . what should we do

Love Guru answers, Sounds like a recipe for disaster. If she is happily married and loves her husband, why is she calling you again? I think you should be wary of this situation -- because you stand to be the biggest loser here. She already has a family and may just be looking for excitement and is enjoying the old feelings resurface. But once the thrill os over, what? She goes back to her husband and you're alone again. I think you should live your own life and date other people -- don't get caught up in this mess. If she really wanted you in the first place, she wouldn't have ended up marrying someone else.

newlife asked, HI Loveguru, I am big fan of yours. I know, you are someone among us, but making out time and giving advice who are dying for a bit of it.. is really a noble deed. I just started my own venture, leaving my good paying job. But due to some financial issues, I am again looking for job. My issue is, during this whole process, I have been very busy and involved. Now, my girlfriend says, that I am not able to figure out as what do you actually want in life. It has affected her badly and I am getting tense. I need empathy from her and she is asking me questions. What should i do?

Love Guru answers, Thanks for the compliments. But getting to your problem, your girlfriend is asking questions because she's obviously looking at settling down with you sooner or later and she's worried that this state of things makes it impossible in the near future. Starting up a venture requires time and effort and a lot of struggle to get it running successfully. Maybe you should have discussed it with her before taking such a big step. Now you're back to needing a job and she feels sidelined in all of this, because she's wondering what is going to happen to your future relationship-wise. Your career is taking precedence over it and she's worried about the finances. Whatever decision you make, you need to make sure she's agreeable.

Jak asked, Hi, I met a girl for the marriage proposal, I liked her but she said she is not comfortable with the relationship. I am confused. Pls answer

Love Guru answers, She said no, in other words. So don't be confused. You can ask her why she is uncomfortable with it and try to address the issue; if she refuses to elaborate or doesn't seem to have a valid reason, there's nothing you can do about it. So don't waste your time trying to convince her.

rafiq asked, I love a person but i dont know how to tell him. sometimes he looks right into my eyes like he too loves me but how can I e sure.

Love Guru answers, Friends don't spend time gazing into each other's eyes. So unless you're over-dramatising the whole thing, it certainly seems like this guy has the hots for you.

gereger asked, should i leave my best friend ..i've been gr8 frnds with her more than anything else to work between us and im only a frnd to her and she's got a gr8 boyfriend as well.. should friendship prevail here or should i move on in life without her ..and maybe then i'll meet and like new people..

Love Guru answers, You can remain friends and move on at the same time. The problem is, because you like her you're giving her the most priority in your life. Friends deserve priority, but not this much! Keep your friendship intact, but also make time to meet new people and date other girls.

Upendra asked, hi LG i m upendra, i m falling in love with somone. she is just 16 yrs old & i m 24 yrs. we both are accept our relationship & loves alot each other but her parrents are not agree our relationship. Pls advise me LG. please

Love Guru answers, Obviously her parents won't agree! She's only a teenager, not fully grown up yet -- and you're 24, ready to settle down. This is not the time for her to make such a life-altering decision. At 16, you don't know exactly what you want from life. Either you wait for her to come of age and see if the relationship lasts up until then, or then call it off.

samira asked, hi love guru plz hel me..i have bf last 1.5year but he is very rude hi tell me dont talk anyone..even hi dont like my sister and my family.2month befor i meet one guy he wont to marry with me he is nice guy his family also nce i dont no what i do..plz help me

Love Guru answers, Samira, if your boyfriend is a rude lout who doesn't like you talking normally to people and doesn't like your family, I don't know what there really is to think about. Dump him! And give Mr Nice Guy a chance, but don't jump head-first into it, get to know him a little better first.

noton asked, Hi Love Guru, my boss recently fall in love with another boss, though both are married and have kid too. Since then my boss is not giving much concentration to our work. He sometimes comes and just check our work. but don't generate any work. our career prospects is declining and he is thinking only abt him and his girl friend. I also tried to change the group, but he didn't allow me to change. Please suggest.

Love Guru answers, Talk to him and explain that you're worried about your professional prospects. Don't say a word about his girlfriend, talk about things solely from the point of view of your own job and how you're dissatisfied with it. If he's smart he'll get the hint and let you make the change to another department. If not, your whole team should think of complaining about the lack of initiative to a higher authority in the office.

siddd asked, hey love guru,,, i am in the relationshp with a gal for last 3 yrs.. my gf loved me alot.. few dyz back she got intimated with her colleague in office.. n after dat she told me bout it... she ws betrayin me for 2 mnths.. after telling me she has tried to suicide.. now her family is not allowing her to go outside.. they knew about our reltnshp... now her family is nt allowing her to meet me.. she's sayin dat she loves me.. i dont trust her now.. she alwyzz says dat she wont repeat her mistakes.. m confusedd plzz help....

Love Guru answers, Do you want to give her another chance? That's a decision you have to make -- whether you still love her and whether you think you can learn to trust her again are the key factors. Once you have made up your mind about the status of your relationship, you can choose a course of action. If you want to get back with her, explain to her family about what happened, I'm guessing they think she tried to commit suicide because of you. If you want her out of your life, leave things alone -- don't approach her again. Although you can explain yourself to her family in that case too, if you want them to know the truth about things. But don't interact with her after that.

Caspie asked, Hi, I am 29 and have been with a guy for two years.Finally I had to ask him if he was serious about me.He said he loved me but couldnt marry me.I tried to get the reason and he says he doesnt get the feeling of getting married to me and is searching for a wife through matrimonials,I feel dumped ....and now he wont pick up my calls too, my family is also looking for a groom for me now..but I feel Ill never fall in love again..what can I do

Love Guru answers, You were taken for a ride by this guy, but don't judge the whole gender by what he did. Cut him out of your life, stop calling him and get rid of everything that reminds you of him. You'll feel like the bottom of a barrel for a couple of months, but after that it gets much easier. Meet new men, if you don't mind your family looking for a groom, you may find the right guy for you through an arranged match too -- it's been known to happen.

Kanika asked, Hi, I am from a not so rich family.. I have a bf and he is from a very rich family.. He assures me that we can handle all problems together.. Should we proceed or not..

Love Guru answers, Kanika, if he is with you and you have his support, what are you worried about? Well-settled, understanding and he obviously loves you very much -- he seems like quite a catch, you should consider yourself lucky!

Love Guru says, That's all for today, folks...Catch you again next week, cheers!