'My sister wants to marry a playboy'

Love Guru says, Hi there, folks! Welcome back to the Love Guru chat. Let's get started discussing your troubled relationships.

suman asked, lg ,my problem is that i have a man in my life, now we want to marry, he is less qualified,low salaryiedand belong to low caste of me. my parents oppose this match , what to do.his parnts are aggreed.

Love Guru answers, Suman, if you're in love with him things like low caste and lower salary shouldn't matter so much. But what you need to do is really think about this and decide that it's absolutely what you want. Are you confident that your future won't be jeopardised by jealousy on his part or a superior attitude on yours? Do you at all think you're settling for less, or have second thoughts about this? Weigh all your options very clearly and make an informed decision. If the situation doesn't bother either of you in the least and you don't think it will be an issue in your marriage, go ahead.

subodh asked, love guru iam in problem from my classmet. she is very buetiyfull and both are loved from since 2years.but some obstacle has come in our relesion.

Love Guru answers, Subodh, if you don't tell me what the obstacle is, how do you expect me to give you an answer? I need to know the problem before I can give you a solution, right?

has asked, hi love guru i love a girl . i see her every day in a train she get down at bombay central and i catch the same train to go bandra i dont know how to talk bec she is in college and i am working once i try to give the letter but she said she hurry to go to college so i dint know how to propose how to contact her.and she always with her freinds

Love Guru answers, Look, the very fact that she didn't want to accept your letter means that she is not interested in you, at least not at the moment. You can maybe try smiling at her when you see her or strike up a conversation with her and her friends while she is waiting on the platform for her train home. If things look optimistic, you can ask her out for coffee after a month or so. But to be frank, I don't see this going anywhere, buddy -- women, especially young girls, are usually uncomfortable with attention from strange men.

Ansu asked, I am 34 years old and have akid out of my marriage.Off late my wife dosd not like to have sex with me more tha n twice aweek.My first love seduces me with phone calls.I have aburning desire for sex.I want alomst 4 times a week.Should I procced with my first love since my wife is not interested

Love Guru answers, What if your wife had a burning desire to have sex with her ex because you couldn't satisfy her? Hmmm? You'd feel good about that? Relieve yourself through masturbation if necessary and explain to your wife to relax the rules of twice a week only. And stop taking your ex's seductive calls.

Bibhu asked, Hi LG.... My GF wants me to cut off all relation with my parents then only she is ready to marry me... what sud i do?

Love Guru answers, The question is, why does she want that? Have they done something to anger her? Are they not accepting her? Whatever the reason, you need to explain to her that you cannot turn your back on your parents, just as you couldn't turn your back on her if they asked you to. But assure her that if they are wrong about something or treating her unfairly, that you will stand up for her.

jansi asked, I deeply loved a guy. But due to Horoscope not matching with the guy we are just friends. Now I am planning to marry a guy. I am confused whether I can inform my would be about my past love life. And whether can i invite my ex boy friend for my marriage Pls help me I am mailing u for the third time.Atleast reply me this time mam pls

Love Guru answers, Whether you want to tell your husband about your past or not is up to you. But first make sure that he is broadminded enough to accept it and that it will not damage your relationship. Also, asking your ex to the wedding is fine if you are friends. Although if you both were as deeply in love as you claim, it may be hard for both of you if he turns up.

(Advice from the Love Guru does not necessarily reflect the opinions of rediff.com and should not be considered in the capacity of professional counselling.)

Love Guru answers, I know lots of women who date bald (and balding) men. The real problem, I think, is your lack of self confidence. If you just condition yourself to talk to women like you would talk to a male friend, your shyness will disappear over time.

jayesh asked, i am 23 years old and my g/f doesnt give me the desired importance, everytime she there is one of our common friend comes in between to interupt us and if i start opposing for the same she stops talking to me or she gets angry, can u tell me what to do?

Love Guru answers, You can explain to her that you would like to have some private time with her since you are a couple. Else what is the difference between your relationship with her or hers with anyone else if you're constantly in the company of friends? There may be a reason, you know, for her not wanting to be alone with you -- fear of intimacy, for one.

prashu asked, hi my gal left me. i can't live without her. i know she won't come back. my parents are forcing me to marry other gal. That gal also loves me.. but i don't.. i am to confusion.. plz help me out from this depression..

Love Guru answers, If you know she won't come back, why are you obsessing over her and making your own life miserable? Stop acting like a spoilt child who simply has to have his way and start thinking about your future. Don't let your parents force you into anything, but at least give the girl a chance if she likes you so much. What's the harm?

kkk asked, hi...i am a married woman.......my husband is not capable to satisfy me in bed.....now i have an affair with my married colleague .......who is dam good in sex.... my hubby knwos this.......he enjoys watching us having sex....now he want me to get preg from my colleague...... me and my colleague are ready for this... will it be ok??

Love Guru answers, Although I find your whole story a little hard to believe, I'll still tell you what I think. I think your marriage is a sham. Your husband is a voyeur, and your colleague is a cheat, betraying his wife. As for you, you're too sex-crazy to think sensibly. Not one of the three of you should even be married.

coolguy123 asked, Hi LG, i am a 21 yr old guy. I had crush on a girl in the school, but we never talked in school. I met her online a year before, we became quite good friends and now we talk on phone sometimes, i met her a couple of times as well. I now have strong feelings for her. But the problem is sometimes she asks me if i miss her, and sometimes she just makes me feel like i am one of her many male friends. Also, i am studying at a distant place, so its not possible for me to meet with her frequently. I want to take this relationship further..plz tell me how can i do it?

Love Guru answers, You can tell her how you feel, but let me warn you that long-distance relationships are hard. Remember that she has her own life there and if you're going to start telling her not to meet her male friends or go out, it'll never work. If she feels for you and the both of you can trust each other completely, only then give it a go. But for that you'll have to ask her first.

sneha asked, hi! love guru? am married from last one year and on the family planning way. I love my husband and he too. But the problem is i like spending time with him but he dosent like it, he likes his friends, i use to call him but always he says i am busy, i understand the hectic schedule of private job but still he dosent have one min to call his wife in a day, i am the one who always take initative in spending time with him. Most of the times i feel he ignores me. What to do plz help me

Love Guru answers, Sneha, why don't you tell your husband what you've just told me? That you know he loves you, but you resent having to spend time with friends all the time and would like to go out on a date with him alone, or spend some quality time with him.

Love Guru answers, I agree that one shouldn't marry too young. But other than her age, do you think she's ready for marriage? Is she mature, wanting to settle down? Have you been together a long time? If the answer to all these questions is yes, then I don't see a problem with you getting married. Else wait a year or two, it's not like you'll be too old by then. You'll only be 30 and she'll be 25.

Jyoti asked, Hi Love Guru,I love one man and he is also love me more,but my elder sister has done love marraige,and i also want to marry that man but my mummy is opssed it,can u help me, what to do now.even we have plan to marry next year.

Love Guru answers, What has your sister's having married for love got to do with you? And why is your mother opposing it? Is it because your sister's marriage didn't work out too well, or is it because your family opposed her too? Whatever the reason, if you both are mature adults and have made up your minds, try to convince your parents. If they don't buy it, you can go ahead anyway.

manish asked, hi, my wife has always used me.. and nw has sepearted and is not letting me meet my son and is playing with my emotions

Love Guru answers, If your marriage is over, go to court, file for divorce and fight for visiting rights to meet your son.

ravi asked, Hi LG I am 22yr old guy working and settled.Recently a month back i started seeing a beautiful girl who is only 17.When i proposed to her she accepted. but My friends advice me that she is not suitable to me as there is 5 years difference.she is too beautiful for anybody to resist.

Love Guru answers, I agree that she's a little young for you, but that's only because she's still 17, not because of the 5-year gap. Once she's 23 and you're 28, it shouldn't be a problem -- provided, of course, your relatinoship lasts that long. So my advice is, if you like each other, take things slowly in your relationship. And you, being the older one, should keep in mind how young she is. But I don't agree with your friends saying she's not suited to you because of that -- they're probably just a little jealous!

lata asked, hi luv guru i m married for the last 4 yrs i dnt feel like having physical relations with my hubby as he insults me in front of others he is frustrated and so m i any solution

Love Guru answers, Lata, put your foot down and say that you will not tolerate him insulting you in front of other people. The next time he does it, walk out -- pack your bags and go to your parents' home for a while. Just because he is frustrated does not mean he can humiliate you in public. Once he realises that you mean business, if he's at all smart, he will apologise and not repeat his mistake.

rajesh asked, Hi love guru, i have a relationship with a girl from last 2 years.Now she has gone to some other to pursue her course.She got a friend over there.but the problem is she has spent her birthday with that guy whole day and after that she gone to some other city with that same guy and spent 2 days and 2 night with that guy. she has also spent one night in a hotel(Same room same double bed).I tried to call her at that time and she lied to me about whole incident.After coming from there she told me everything and said nothing gone wrong in a hotel and she is feeling very guilty for that.I forgave her and told not to hurt me again but she is continously keeping a friend relationship with that same guy.I don't know what to do ? should i trust her .

Love Guru answers, No! Being trusting is one thing and being foolish quite another! Taking a trip with a male friend and spending the night together in the same room? Wake up and smell the coffee! And she's still friends with him! Stop letting her take advantage of you like this and for heaven's sake call things off with her.

Love Guru answers, Well, boredom will sink into any relationship if you both don't actively make efforts to revive the spark. Also, hang out with friends more often, so you are not too bored and maybe spend some time apart, give yourself a chance to miss her. You could do something different as a couple instead of sticking to the same old routine.

harish asked, Hello Sir, I'm 25 now and have a girl frnd aged 24. In my house they are not agreeing bcoz of age factor. Can you pls comment on this?

Love Guru answers, What do you want me to say? That your family is behaving stupid? I'm sorry, but that's what I think. What's wrong with your ages? A one-year gap is no gap at all, what problem could possibly arise out of such a silly issue?

sarabsingh asked, dear love guruji, My wife left me after 11yrs of marriage without any major conflict. she went to her parents & called me thrice nomally . next day i went to her , she refused to open the door & told that she doesnot wants to live with me & wants divorce. Kindly advise. Regards.

Love Guru answers, Tell her that if that's what she wants it's fine, but at least to sit down with you and talk to you about what has upset her enough to file for divorce. Tell her that after 11 years the least she can do is give you an explanation as to why she wants to divorce you. See how it goes.

harish asked, Hello sir, Do u encourage boys and girls to run away from home as seen in JAB WE MET

Love Guru answers, No, not at all. But if an adult couple (and I mean people old enough to make their own decisions, over the ages of 23 and 24) is having trouble getting together because of family opposition, they may have to leave their homes. That isn't running away, exactly, but yes, you may have to leave your parents' home.

Naveen asked, Hello Sir, My sister who is 23 is love with a guy who was her classmate.Though he belongs to same caste and well settled he has many affairs.When i told my sister about this she said that she knew as it was told by him and promised that he will change after marriage.My parents do not know this about the boy and are willing to perform my sisters marriage with that guy.What should i do?

Love Guru answers, Why don't you have a talk, with him, Naveen? And I don't mean threaten him, just have a chat. Explain that you think he would make a good match with your sister, but that you know about his umpteen affairs and you are worried for her happiness. Explain to him that only if he is serious about settling into domestic bliss should he go ahead and marry her. If his attitude towards women has not changed, he would be better off single and free to mingle.

Love Guru says, Time up, guys...catch you next week, same time, same place. Till then, write to me at mailtheloveguru@rediffmail.com. Cheers!